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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

DH has just signed his DNR

123 replies

FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/07/2019 17:54

That was a fun way to start the week.

All praise to NHS and our district nurses, hospital bed is coming tomorrow, fast track care funding being put in place and medications sorted for as and when DH needs them.

OP posts:

MrsWilkinsonAthome · 27/07/2019 16:39

I am so terribly sorry and hope that the memories of your happier times together will bring you all great comfort in the hard days to come.

Frangipane · 27/07/2019 16:40

Another long term poster you don't know Five, but I have recognised your name on these boards for years, and remember the jolt when I first read your dh had a terminal illness. I'm so sorry to read that he has died. Take care of yourself and your lovely children.

SophyStantonLacy · 27/07/2019 18:39

I’m so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and your children.

Original poster

FiveGoMadInDorset · 28/07/2019 10:35

Thank you all for your messages, our children have been amazing, DS is 11 and has been very open with talking about his dad, DD is talking to my friends who have been around. What a surreal time this is

OP posts:

Bwekfusth · 28/07/2019 14:09

@FiveGoMadInDorset it's great that you have some support. I hope you're ok. Daft thing to say as you're obviously not but I hope you're as ok as you can be.

Mrsjayy · 28/07/2019 14:14

Oh lovey i see you about the boards but I had no idea I am very sorry for your loss

juicey09 · 28/07/2019 14:48

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no words. Sending love x

MadisonAvenue · 28/07/2019 14:52

I’m so sorry, my love and thoughts are with you all.

doodleygirl · 28/07/2019 14:53

I’m so sorry for your loss

ajandjjmum · 28/07/2019 14:56

Sending love. and maybe

Strokethefurrywall · 28/07/2019 15:23

Another poster on the other side of the globe wishing you strength in these painful days, and ultimately peace for you and your children.

Grief is such a lonely journey even though we all must go through it. I'm sure that your support network will be there to carry you through the darkest moments.

My sincere condolences on your monumental loss

bookbook · 28/07/2019 17:26

a Woolly Hugger here , just wanted to come and send my condolences . You have had to walk a road that no one could help you along . Sending love and strength for the next leg of the journey ahead of you .
Take care

Ginisatonic · 28/07/2019 18:18

I’m so sorry to read this five. My thoughts are with you and your DCs.

MidsomerBurgers · 28/07/2019 18:22

Lougle · 28/07/2019 19:17

5, I'm glad you had a 'moment' to acknowledge that this was the time to prioritise comfort. I have seen many, many people who couldn't acknowledge the reality, and I've always felt that they missed the chance to say the things that needed to be said.

I hope your memories of the difficult times fade, in time, and you are left with precious memories that last.

madmumofteens · 28/07/2019 20:00

I'm so very sorry for your loss 💐

MNHQ

AnyaMumsnet · 29/07/2019 15:35

Hi there all,

OP has asked us to move this over to bereavement, so we're going to do that now.

So sorry for you loss OP

EarringsandLipstick · 30/07/2019 12:40

I'm so sorry Five

Sending you strength & love at this desperately sad time. You have been a fabulous support for your DH and your DC. Try, if you can at all, to look after yourself a little - eat small amounts, have cups of tea/coffee, try to get some rest ❤️

MrsAitch13 · 30/07/2019 12:45

I am so very sorry for your loss x

fourquenelles · 30/07/2019 12:51

@FiveGoMadInDorset I am so sorry. When it gets too much I can highly recommend finding a sturdy tree and giving it a thorough beating with a stick or branch when no one is looking. Very cathartic and it does no lasting damage to the tree.

Original poster

FiveGoMadInDorset · 30/07/2019 13:39

Well this morning we have arranged his funeral, DS has chosen a song he wants to play, not sure how well it will go down with DH’s step mother but who cares.it is the most amazing crematorium, very quiet overlooking Poole harbour and it’s not a one in one one out as they have a room for the wake after. He was so helpful in talking about what paperwork was needed and booked an appointment with the registrar. Picked up the death certificate from the hospice and they have stressed that their care has not finished and if I find that I need to talk to someone or the children do in the next few months then to get in touch. It is all a bit overwhelming so now at home processing.

OP posts:

Time40 · 30/07/2019 14:20

Oh Five, I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

MrsMozartMkII · 30/07/2019 14:25

I'm so sorry Five.

May he rest in peace.

LuckyBitches · 30/07/2019 14:48

Bless you all, Five. I am so sorry.

May he rest in peace

MrsAitch13 · 30/07/2019 17:26

You will have so much going on but please try to keep the hospice's offer of help in mind.

The hospice Mr. H was in provided me with talking therapy with a very experienced volunteer.

She was literally a life saver for me.

I wish love and strength xx

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