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Original poster

DH has just signed his DNR

123 replies

FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/07/2019 17:54

That was a fun way to start the week.

All praise to NHS and our district nurses, hospital bed is coming tomorrow, fast track care funding being put in place and medications sorted for as and when DH needs them.

OP posts:
Chartreuser · 15/07/2019 17:58

Flowers that sounds very hard but great that it's all being sorted quickly.

scattercushion17 · 15/07/2019 17:59

Sending love Flowers

AppropriateAdult · 15/07/2019 18:01

That's a hard step to reach, I'm sorry Flowers Hope it's given your DH some peace of mind at least. Glad to hear other things are being sorted for you quickly.

Helenluvsrob · 15/07/2019 18:05

That’s so very sad in one way but also a very positive thing. Everyone - him, you , family ,Gp, nurses , hospice team etc etc are all on the same page , and that is for him to live the best life he can for as long as he can. A DNR limits nothing except futile attempts to drag him back when he does pass.

Get that bucket list , do , don’t delay, see people , eat and drink what ever he fancies ( whisky for breakfast - why not as long as he doesn’t fall over and break something !).

Hugest hugs

SoupDragon · 15/07/2019 18:07

Flowers It's a tough time.

Original poster
FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/07/2019 18:22

Unfortunately we are past the bucket list stage, hoping he can get out to DS’s leavers assembly, but we did Paris this year, did Mauritius and been for some lovely days out.

OP posts:
viques · 15/07/2019 18:31

I am so sorry you are coming to the end of the journey, it must be very hard to feel as though you are the one holding it all together. I hope you are managing to find someone IRL to unload on.

You and you DH sound as though you have spent time talking about what he, and you, want to happen and I hope things go gently for you both. The hospital bed will help a lot, they make things more comfortable, and will save a lot of energy for both of you.

[Hope he gets to the assembly, I bet he does, sounds as though it is a goal he has set himself]

Take care.

notapizzaeater · 15/07/2019 22:32

So,sorry you are in this place but better getting everything sorted now whilst you can.

Frikonastick · 16/07/2019 04:10

A milestone no one ever thinks will be a part of their reality. I’m so sorry this is happening to you 5. Wishing you the strength to endure, and sending you all the shoulder bumps in solidarity xxx

Minxmumma · 18/07/2019 21:01

So sorry Flowers but very glad things are being put in place quickly for you xxx

echt · 21/07/2019 06:02

So very sorry that it has come to this, but glad for you that your DH is getting all the support he needs.

Thank for starting this thread, FiveGoMadInDorset, it addresses a really important aspect of life-limiting illness that isn't often raised. You're doing a great service in posting this.

Thanks and a big antipodean hug.

FreakyPurple · 21/07/2019 10:41

So sorry that you are going through this, Five

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 21/07/2019 10:45

Sorry you are at this stage. It broke my heart when my DH did the same, and when he stopped breathing my natural instinct was to start CPR but I knew he wouldn't want that. Hope that he can do the things he wants to before it comes to that point.

Original poster
FiveGoMadInDorset · 23/07/2019 20:44

@echt it is important isn’t it and something that is never talked about.

He has lost so much weight in the last fortnight it’s scary, spending a fortune on different foods and the last couple of days he has eaten better which is good.

OP posts:
Chasingsquirrels · 23/07/2019 20:50

I'm so sorry to read this FiveGoMadInDorset, it is so difficult for both of you to be at this stage.
I'm glad you've done some of the things you have, and that you have the care package in place.
Look after yourself as well as DH, and while words on a page might not be able to do much - posters will be here for you now, during and after xx

Time40 · 23/07/2019 20:57

Oh Five, that's really tough. I'm so sorry.

AbbieLexie · 23/07/2019 21:00

Flowers it's hard. Will think of you both. Flowers

IceBearRocks · 23/07/2019 21:04

Five...you've all done really well to get the the stage where DH realises he needs a DNR and a hospital bed!
My mum refused a bed and we struggled to care for her ....she got one for the final day!
Wishing you ultimate love.

Pinkybutterfly · 23/07/2019 21:04

Sorry darling. How are you feeling? Xxxxx big hugs and kisses

EskiVodkaCranberry · 23/07/2019 21:08

Sorry you and you're family are going through this, sending you all the best for such a difficult time. Thanks

SophyStantonLacy · 23/07/2019 21:09

I hope he's made it to DS's assembly. Thinking about you all.

Original poster
FiveGoMadInDorset · 23/07/2019 21:17

@sophystantonlacy sadly he didn’t,DS got a little teary, I did film it though

. Children have been great, it’s going to be a crap holiday for them but they seem to have taken it on board and I have a friend who is going to do some day trips with them

OP posts:
shiningstar2 · 23/07/2019 21:19

My deepest, deepest sympathy to you, your husband and all your family. Have watched a much loved relative and his lovely family come to this and I can't find any words which would comfort any of you in any way. It can't help op but know that strangers on here feel sad for you and yours tonight Flowers

Original poster
FiveGoMadInDorset · 23/07/2019 21:19

@icebearrocks he was a little unsure about the bed but so much more comfortable

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Tingface · 23/07/2019 21:21

I don’t know your backstory but I couldn’t read and run.
I’m so sorry you are all facing such a dreadful outcome x