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Original poster

Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

427 replies

Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 17:57

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

OP posts:
WendyWeber · 14/07/2007 16:09

She was obviously very proud of you PC, and however you feel at the moment, you deserved for her to be proud of you.

Taking her little cat is a lovely idea and will be a big help for you and your boys - a constant reminder of her.

DiagonAllieBongo · 14/07/2007 16:18

yes ww is right. she must have been so proud. i phone my nan once every month or so, i love her of course, but she can be v mean and hurtful. you obviously adored your nan and she would have known that.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 17:36

I hope she did. I can't remember if I recently told her I loved her, but I would always give her a kiss whenever I said goodbye to her. I hope she knew.

My sister layed some flowers down on a piece of land that she would go to with nan when she was looking after us, (I would be at school at the time) & they used to make houses out of sticks. My sister wrote "Remembering our special place" on a card & left them there.
She has just text me to tell me they have been taken.

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NAB3 · 14/07/2007 17:48

Unbelievable. Some people.

I think taking the cat is a lovely idea and I think it will help you.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 18:18

She hadn't had the cat long. She used to have another cat that she had for years & years. The original cat died when nan was in hospital, but she was convinced he had been taken by youths, skinned & made into slippers!
I tried to reassure her that he hadn't been taken & made into slippers, and she said "He ruddy well was!"
She was totally convinced, bless her, and it is the only time I have ever seen nan slightly cross!
This little cat is the replacement. She loved her cats.

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suezee · 14/07/2007 18:38

what a shitty thing to do for someone to steal those flowers.........we had to stop putting little trinkets on my brothers grave because people kept stealing them,which i think is a very low thing to do but whatever.............anyway i hope ur feeling a bit better x

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 18:38

My ex husband wants to be at nan's funeral because he was very fond of her. She would always provide him with a new pair of socks at Christmas time!

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 18:40

It is horrible isn't it, suezee. Horrible that they stole flowers from your brothers grave.

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ScummyMummy · 14/07/2007 20:06

I think taking the cat is a great idea, PC. (Don't know what blu will think though! She has a well documented hatred of cats- maybe she even has some cat slippers!)
These first days before the funeral are always very hard, I think.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 23:38

The thought of Blu wearing cat slippers has brought a smile to my face, Scummy!
I know Blu isn't a cat lover. I think they are ok in other peoples houses, but I have been anti pets of any variety in my own! Having a cat scares me a bit because they catch flappy birds, and I have a massive bird phobia!
If no-one wants the cat, I will take care of it though, as I feel I will be doing something for nan.

My sister was telling me how sad it was being in nan's house today, and how she broke down as soon as she walked inside & saw her chair without nan sitting in it.
I know I am going to find it very difficult tomorrow, but I have to go inside one last time.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 23:42

My siter has also pre-warned me that nan's will is in th ouse & the words in it will really make me cry

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 23:43

Sorry, The house

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WendyWeber · 14/07/2007 23:44

I'm sure they'll make you cry in a good way, PC.

Be strong - you are doing her proud

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 23:48

I'm not feeling very strong at all, Wendy

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 14/07/2007 23:50

They are not doing the post mortem until Monday. I wish they could leave her alone.

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WendyWeber · 14/07/2007 23:51

No, I know you're not feeling strong, but you are being strong - you have had some very hard things to do already but you have done them.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 00:10

Tomorrow is going to be very tough, I know it is. I broke down just looking through her windows the other day.
Apparantly she has kept everything, even old birthday cards we sent her.

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Butterbeertroot · 15/07/2007 00:13

pink champagen - jsut seeen

my thoughts are with you

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 00:15

Thanks, Beetroot, my thoughts are with you too.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 08:57

Off to nan's in a bit. I know this is going to be very hard. I want to take a photo of her house as it is, before it gets totally stripped of all her possessions.

Trying to think of a message from my sister, myself & the boys, to go in the obituaries section of our local paper. It won't be a poetic one because we're not the best poets!

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 11:49

That was just the hardest thing. I have had to come straight home because I feel I should be strong around mum & I need to go to pieces.

I took a tissue from the pocket of nan's coat.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 11:50

The tissue smells of nan.

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DumbledoresGirl · 15/07/2007 11:55

PC, I have been reading your thread. My condolences to you.

Do you know what is going to happen to your nan's possessions? When my beloved grandmother died 9 years ago, the whole extended family gathered in her house after the funeral and we all shared out what possessions we wanted. I am not so much thinking of valurable stuff here, just the ordinary bits and pieces in a house. I took home loads of things: blankets, tablecloths, the odd mug, a coffee grinder, towels, a bedroom chair etc as well as a lovely little tea set my grandmother always used when we visited. The point of this is that they were all everyday ordinary things that I used all the time and it really helped me to have things of my grandmother's to use every day. It was sad to begin with (if I sniffed the cushions/towels etc, they smelt of her house) but gradually that faded and now I am still using some of her things every day and it just makes me feel good to have her things around me.

Just a thought.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 12:00

I have taken some special bits, but feeling very all over the place today.
Read her will, which was just heartbreaking. I have a copy of it.
She has put down for me to take some of her pictures, which I have done already, although we haven't gone through everything properly.
I have taken a little Christmas music box, which she used to always wind up & play for DS2 when he went round. It had one of her hairs on it.

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DumbledoresGirl · 15/07/2007 12:22

Aww you are clearly desolate at the moment PC, but believe me, one day you will be able to think of her without crying. You will have all the lovely memories and this difficult time will be no more than a reminder to you of how much love you shared and how strong an influence she was on your life. As hard as it is now, you only feel this grief because she meant so much to you. You are so lucky to have had such a warm relationship. One day, the love you shared with your nan you will be able to channel into a new relationship, say with your own grandchildren.