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Original poster

Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

427 replies

Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 17:57

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

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edam · 15/07/2007 12:25

PC, so sorry. Don't worry about poetry, just write what you want to say. Tbh I think poetry is very tricky for anyone who isn't a poet.

Glad you are choosing some momentoes, I didn't go to my Gran's house after she died as it felt wrong, somehow. Wish I had.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 12:27

In her will, she has written "You have all been great, please don't grieve for me"
How can I not grieve for her? It's impossible, she was just the lovliest nan anyone could ever ask for, and I'm so upset that I'll never see her again.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 12:32

We wrote the message this morning, edam. We just said how much we love & miss her.
I then wrote one from my boys, who take comfort from believing she is happy in Heaven.
I have written "To our special great nanny X, save a jelly baby for us in Heaven, hugs & kisses, DS1 & DS2"

Now I've had my big cry, I am going back to mum.

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edam · 15/07/2007 12:37

Those sound like lovely messages, PC.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 15:08

The thing that really cracked me up today, was seeing nan's hospital wristbands lying on the kitchen table. They had obviously been cut off her wrists once she had died, and seeing them just finished me off.
I have taken one of them home with me, along with a shaky picture of a cat that she had drawn for DS2 on the last occassion he visited her house.

I wish I could have her back, just for a few minutes, just to tell her what I need to say to her.

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BigGitDad · 15/07/2007 15:41

PC when my gran died nearly 20 yrs ago now, I kept a scarf of hers (apostrophe where?) to remind me of her. I keep it with the rest of my clothes in my wardrobe and often think of her when I see it. (Usually when I am in a rush and late for work or something!)
Also if your Nan put in her will 'don't grieve for me' I think she knew how much you loved her and that she knew how you would be feeling about her. It sounds as she felt the same way about you too. It is wonderful that you both thought so much of each other. As I say twenty years on and my family still talk about our legendary Gran!
I would like to reiterate the lovely words DumbledoresGirl said. There will be a time when you will have happy memories.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 20:06

Thanks, BGD. I know she wouldn't want me to be so upset, but I can't help it. I keep sniffing her tissue & smelling nan.

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CalifrauniusFudge · 15/07/2007 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 20:28

The tissues were stuffed in nan's coat pockets. I took one out to dry my eyes because I wanted one of nan's tissues. It just smells of nan.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 22:46

Going to attempt to go back to work tomorrow.

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triplets · 15/07/2007 22:52

Dear Pinkchampagne,
First chance to get on here for days, but heard your sads news from Tessiebear at Bos party. Read thru your posts and can truly feel your sadness, but dont feel guilty please. It is so obvious that you loved her and she loved you, we do not know when these things are going to happen to us, you know my own story, but I cannot live with the guilt that my darling Matthew died alone, it was the way it happened, if I could change it I would, but cannot. To have had such a lovely Nan is so special, I never had that, my Mums mum died two days before my 2nd birthday and my other Nan was just not the rosy faced doting kind if you get the picture, never ever got a birthday card from here all my life. Talk to Tessiebear about how her boys have coped, they were in a similar position as you know. Keep strong, know that she was loved and you were all loved in return, come for coffee soon, xxx

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 22:54

Thanks, triplets.
coffee soon sounds like a good plan!

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triplets · 15/07/2007 22:58

Do you have a date for the funeral yet, that the hardest day.......but I do believe in Heaven, all this that we go thru cannot be for nothing, its what keeps me going at times, the hope of seeing Matthew and my beloved Dad again. Try to arrange coffee before we go on hols on the 26th?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 23:08

Post mortem is tomorrow, so I guess we then will have more of an idea of when the funeral is likely to be. It's normally around a week later isn't it?

Dreading the funeral a lot, I really am.

Haven't got Tessiebears DS3's birthday present to him yet, but I plan to take it soon. I haven't been too with it recently!

I have Wednesday & Friday afternoons off, but obviously finish for summer (what's that?!) soon, so we will definitely have to arrange something.

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triplets · 15/07/2007 23:14

Hi,
We are off to the States on the 26th-23rd Aug, but perhaps could squeeze in something before we go? Do you know Bo`s got chickenpox?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 15/07/2007 23:16

Yes, Tess told me that it arrived for his birthday, poor little chap!

Off to the States eh? Very nice!

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/07/2007 07:46

Anyway, how are things with you atm, triplets? Hope you're all ok.

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Blu · 16/07/2007 09:57

Thinking of you today, PC. I LOVE your jelly baby message - thos real personal messages mean so much.

Of course you are grieving for you, but how wonderful that she said that in her will - at least you know that you did make her happy.

Hugs.

Blu · 16/07/2007 09:58

And snort at cat slippers!!

Would the boys like to have the cat, do you think? If so...take it! (just as long as I don't have to!!)

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/07/2007 15:39

Been back to work today, but felt I was struggling a bit this morning. It's like I'm not quite with it atm.

They have done the post mortem, and it appears that the actual cause of death was a massive heart attack, rather than the stroke I was led to believe killed her.

Funeral takes place at 11am next Tuesday.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/07/2007 16:03

While in her house yesterday, I saw all kinds of lose sweets in her little drawer, which she would give to us when we visited. I took one out & ate it!

There was even a glass of water beside her bed, which she would have taken to bed with her the night before she died.

Found a jelly baby packet in her bedroom, which had one black jelly baby left in it. I felt the need to take that home too. DS2 ate the jelly baby as soon as he saw it, which she would have wanted him to do. Barmey as it sounds, I am keeping the empty packet.

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FioFioJane · 16/07/2007 16:04

I'm sorry pinkchampagne xx

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/07/2007 17:59

The boys probably would like the cat, and I wouldn't let nan's cat be put down. Nan would want me to take care of it for her.
It doesn't have a name yet though. Nan just called it "Puss puss!"

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ScummyMummy · 16/07/2007 18:04

I bet the boys will think of a great name for the cat, pc. Well done for braving work today.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/07/2007 18:49

At the moment, DS2 wants to call it Thomas, as in the tank engine!

Our messages will be in the local paper on Thursday. Can't believe they charge nearly £50 to print them though!

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