Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

[Pinkchampagne]

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

PC, only just seen this. So very sorry for your loss. Can you get to the GP to see if he/she can prescribe something to help with the sleeping? You have so much to cope with just now, you need to be in the best physical shape you can be.

Take care, big hugs to ds1 and ds2. xx

Think I still have some Dosulepin in my cupboard somewhere, which is what the GP prescribed me just after Christmas when all was getting too much.
They are also an AD though.

maybe I need to give in & take ADs though.
I can normally pull myself through things, manage to work, wear a smile etc, but right now it is becoming more difficult.
You have to carry on with things as normal when you have children, especially when you are taking care of them a lot on your own, and sometimes it all feels a bit much.

give your doc a ring i left it six month and it got worse.as for sleeping i spray my pillow with lavendar spray,the one from avon is brill and it knocks me out, a good magazine, i get bored with books cant concentrate that long,only trouble is everyone else hates the smell of lavendar

To anyone having trouble sleeping after a bereavement; you can take sleeping tablets on a part-time basis, i.e. every third night, so that at least you get some sleep one night in three. This helps prevent dependency, and total exhaustion. You can also get your GP to prescribe a low dosage of Valium one or two tablets only, to help you cope on the funeral day. This is what my mum had.
I didn't take anything and woke in the night every night for nearly six months after my dad's death. No problem falling asleep, just staying asleep. Sleep problems, no appetite, feeling sick all the time, mushy head, lead- weight- pressing- on- your-chest sensation, forgetfulness, anger, irritation- at-the-smallest-thing, all normal when grieving. I've had them all, but you need to go through them to come out the other side.Hope this helps.

Thinking of you, PC.

Thank you.

I have been to work today, and managed to get through the day & get quite a bit done, but was very very tired & I'm just not feeling very with it.
Told line manager about the funeral next Tuesday & she has ok-ed it for me to have the day off.
Much as I'm not with it at work, I do think it is good for me to be there & keep myself busy. It is when I'm here alone that it feels the worst.

Boys are out with their dad & I was going to go shopping, but I'm far too tired today.

KS - I can identify totally with the feelings you describe in your post.

I don't want to take anything if I can help it, KS, but I am struggling with being a mum on my own right now, and I don't want my boys to suffer.

pc, have been thinking about you, xxx

Hi Pinkchampagne,
My tales of woe are too long atm, Tesiebear knows, but I am taking diazapam atm, doc gave me 28, can take up to 3 a day, so they wont go far. Like you struggling not to take any if I can, so still have 10 left since the 11th June. Rang yesterday and asked if I could have some more to see me thru my holiday, also I am very nervous flying, she was a bit off, said it was not good for me to get dependant on them, and will review it when we get back. Heres me thinking how brave I am being!Hope you are having a better day, xxx

Was meant to be going out next Tuesday night because one of my work colleagues is leaving. I really can't see myself being up for it after nan's funeral, although some people at work are telling me it will probably do me good.
I can't see myself wanting to go anywhere after the funeral though.

They are going to play a song that grandad used to sing for her when they first met. It will be the hardest, and I will be a wreck.

Sorry, triplets, X posted.

Poor you, I really feel for you.

I am reluctant to start on ADs because I don't want to become dependant on them, but I do carry Rescue Remedy around with me.

Do you find the ADs make much of a difference, triplets?

hi triplets still cant cat but i will get my daghter to show me when in

Hi,
Is diazapam classed as an AD? Thought they were more a type of valium? Doc last year prescribed Citalopram which is an AD but I decided not to go down that road and so took none, binned them! Dont think they are making much diff, perhaps they would if I take the three a day, but as she has only prescibed 28 they wont last me until the 24th Aug! Pretty fed up atm! We really must get together with Tessiebear when we get back, saw her today and Bo is much better.

Yes you're right, it isn't an AD! I told you I wasn't with it today, so take no notice of any stupid comments or me missing things - I've been like it for a couple of days now!

I was on Citalopram for a little while after DS2's birth, but only a low dose. They did the job, but made me feel a bit sick. I wasn't on them for long though.

I have always refused them since, but with being on my own so much with the boys, I wonder if I need something just so that they have a better mother.

Glad to hear Bo's feeling better. I must give Tess another ring. I still need to get that present to her DS3!
Would be great for us all to get together soon.

My ex husband is being very good to my parents, cooking them meals etc. He is also being quite kind to me when he sees me atm, which ends up messing my head up even more.
I do feel very lonely right now.

WEll, appreciate the fact that he is being kind, but don't forget that there will be another murky agenda. Sad, brutal, but true. sorry.
He has spotted a role for him as golden boy - especially as golden son-in-law. He knows how your parents treat you because he has commented on it. He knows it isn't fair, the way they make it all your fallt - because he has commented on it. he knows it isn't right that they treat him like golden boy and you...differently - because he has commented onit.

But he cultivates it.

But i am pleased that it is at least giving you some practical help.

Take the bait - but recognise the trap.

I feel so mean saying all this. Sorry.

No I know, Blu.
He has said he will do food for my parents after the funeral & everything. Mum keeps saying "Bless him, he's so good"
She keeps telling me I should hug him, and even suggested I stay at her house on Saturday, but that would have meant me sharing a bed with him as she had my sister & BIL there, so was a totally crazy idea! I obviously took myself home!

I know he is also sad about my nan, but I can't be comforted by him. My head is already a total mess & that would mess me up more.

By comforted I mean letting him hug me, not sharing a bed btw!

Good for you.

I know you must be so lonely at the moment...and it would be nice if your Mum could relate directly to you over all this, but hey.

And I am sure that he genuinely and honestly feels sad about you nan, and will be grieving too. It's just really unfortunate that he is still in your Mums house, and that that isn't a place you can go in an uncomplicated way to simply share your own grief with your sister and mum.

Are you still at work next week, then? DS's school finishes tomorrow.

oh, no - I didn't go so far as to imagine you would contemplate sharing a bed with him!

Also - your Mum doesn't (presumably) know what you do about That Woman.

Yes, we're still at work until Wednesday unfortunately!

No she knows nothing about the woman at all.

Wow, your DS's school finish a whole week before us! When do they go back?