Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

[Pinkchampagne]

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

Not that I mind the cost, as my nan is priceless, I just wasn't expecting it to cost quite that much.

Her body is now being released & as from Thursday, we are able to see her if we wish to. Don't know if I could handle that though. I want to remember my lovely nan as she was, not laying there dead, but at the same time, will I regret not seeing her for one last time?

I don't think you'll regret it. You've thought about it carefully over several days, you know why you don't want to see her body -- I don't think that will change.

i went to see grandson several times sstraight after he died, then day before funeral, seventeen days later, it was a big mistake, think carefully , remember before,happy days, i have photos and when my mobile rings his video plays,hes laughing, i never answer it , i would rather watch the video x thinking of you xx

Have no regrets Pinkchampagne, she would never want that. I never went to see Matthew at the undertakers, never saw him after identifying him in our garden, just couldnt bear it when they took him away, keep your last memory of her alive in your mind, dont force yourself to do something you feel uncomfortable with, she would not want that. You are being so brave, I wish my last memory of Matthew was when he was here, smiling.............dont feel guilty if you dont go, xxxx

Hi Hazygirl,
We are both on the same wavelength here, did you get my message? I am not having a good day today, feeling panicky again, so hard trying to cope atm, also very tired, no rest for me though, these three are wide eyed and legless!

i dont know how to get on message, not at my best ,started on ads as finding it harder,still no inquest,no answer, want answers why us

Hazygirl, thats a question I have been asking for 13 yrs, WHY? I have an appt to see a cardiologist through CRY, he specializes in sudden death syndrome, my appt is the 27th Sept, dreading it, just want it all to go away and be happy and enjoy my life again, feel so much for you, xxx

good luck, i become a grandma again just before then, a girl, did u get genetic councelling and how r the triplets,it must be great even though it doesnt replace your sonx

triplets did u get answers, my daughter is an irregular heart beat and missed her appointments,doesnt bother, and youngest granddaughter had kidney removed and replumbed last month,shes two, genetic councelling was to detect cf but no trace ,which is good newsx

I am so sorry for you both. Losing a child must be the worst thing in the world & I cannot begin to imagine your pain.

Sorry you have been feeling panicky, triplets. The wait for this appointment must be unbearable. I really hope all goes well for you.x

Mum sent me a photo of nan sitting with DS1 when he was about 2. It is a lovely picture, she looks so well, and when I look at it I see nan looking right at me smiling. That's how I want to remember her.
If I looked at her now, I would just see a shell of my nan & that may totally do me in. I was worrying I may regret it if I missed the chance to look at nan one last time...but my nan's not in that body anymore is she?

no shes not. i go to cemetry most days and my dad gets upset with me ,says hes not there but i can feel him here ,i have pic on my wall, he looks at us wheverever u sit .look after pics and get copys they are irreplaceablex

Excuse all my terrible spelling mistakes in some of todays posts. I am ultra tired & feeling at all with it!

spelling is fine

I have put pictures of nan all around my lounge atm, hazygirl.

Further down it's not - just noticed it!

i do, and my bedroom .mobile under pillow. god wot a routine x

I have photos of nan, a visitors passport with a picture of her & grandad when they were younger, the little cat picture, her hospital wristband, and an empty jelly baby packet from her house, all on top of my fireplace. Her tissue is on a table by my bed.
Will put some of the bits away in a while, but need them around me right now.

It was last Monday evening that my nan died. She has been gone a whole week now.
I don't feel very good at all tonight.

Sorry, PC

I can't bear the thought of never ever seeing nan again.
I keep crying bad, and when I'm not crying, my head feels all heavy & funny. I don't feel right tonight.

After work tomorrow, I am going out to look for something to wear to nan's funeral.

Think it is the combination of hearing the results of post mortem, having the funeral confirmed, and the whole week anniversary thing, that has caused me to feel extra bad tonight.

hi pink champagne take it day by day, keep everything close by you, my youngest daughter had her mobile stolen the day before grandson died ,it gutted me someone would have his videos and photos, and the bastard would have probably delated. make sure you take copys and dont keep together. its funny when he went hospital cut his hair off ,gave his handprint and footprint,and a photo of him, in case we had none,my youngest daughter never stopped taking photos of him,she fifteen,and did a massive album for us and his mummy god i wouldnt part with it for the world.take care at work and hope you get plenty of supportxx

So sorry about your grandson, hazygirl, the pain of losing him must be unbearable for you all.

My sleeping seems to be getting worse & worse. I was awake pretty much every hour throughout the night last night, and feel ill with exhaustion. Work is going to be a challange today.