My beautiful son - part 2

[minmooch]

My last thread is full so here goes another one.

This is a place where I write about my son - Will - who died aged 18 after enduring the horrors of brain cancer. He was kind, gentle, funny, quirky, intelligent, an inspiration. He endured for two years and 3 months of treatment with dignity, humour, positivity and strength.

Thank you for all your lovely words and for thinking of me/Will over his anniversary.

I survived the huge wave that hit, thought it would swamp me but I came out spluttering - thank you for those words Serendipity.

So here we go into the third year without you my darling boy. I'll try to swim in the sea and not be quite so swamped. No promises though.

I love you. I miss you. Every day. Every minute.

Thank you pinkhouse

My darling boy how I miss you. It's coming up to your 4th anniversary. How can that be? It was so terribly hard, those last few weeks. Knowing you were dying. Trying to get your friends and loved ones to say goodbye without frightening you. Your humility, strength and grace still amazes me. Your humour right up until the day before you died. The love for your brother shining in your eyes.

My darling first born child - do you know how much you are still loved? Still missed? I have no strength for anger any more. I find it hard to hear your voice. I wish there was a way to communicate! Just to think you might still be around somehow. I look for signs - come on lad show me one!

Life continues, I have found love and joy again but I wish, so wish you were here to be a part of it all. The love and joy doesn't sit so easy as in times gone by but I try so very hard to live my life in honour of you. It's still exhausting though not like at the beginning. I still feel guilt of surviving whilst you died.

You are loved and missed always.

Thinking of you, min & pleased to hear you have found love & joy again - even if it will always be tempered by your loss.

Thinking of you OP . I have only just found your thread but as the mother of a teenage boy I cannot imagine the pain you have endured. I am glad you have found some happiness which I am sure your son would have wanted. I hope your memories of your son stay strong

You are on my mind my boy. Thinking of your last week. So much pain, torture. So much bravery, so much love. So much fear. It was horrendous and so bloody unfair.

I love you and miss you. Xxx

Sending you love.
It is so, so hard.

Still here and still thinking of you and Will dearest min
xxxxxxxx

😞💐

My darling boy. God it hurts. I miss you, your voice, your laughter, your bravery.

Anniversaries are so terribly hard. It brings the reality smack back in to you.

I'll never get over the horror you had to go through. It pains me that I couldn't do it for you.

Your death colours everything. I live, I laugh, l love but, there's always that big bloody but. But I wish you were here to live your life. I'd still be doing the things I do now, I'd just be doing them knowing you were living your life.

My heart will always hurt. It beats, it is filled with love but it will always hurt.

I love you.

Thank you all for your words and thoughts. It's a lonely thing this grief shit.

I hope you can find peace one day.

My love, my darling boy. 4 years ago it was your last night with us. I wish with all my heart you could have stayed.

You would be so proud of your brother - he's doing well. It's been tough for him, he had to grow up too quickly. I'd love to be able to watch you both grow into wonderful young men but it wasn't to be.

I think you'd be proud of me.

I think of you tonight and all that you fought so hard for. I promise to live and love and laugh for you but I so wish you were here. Xxxx

So very sorry for your loss

Min, I loved your last post. I am sure Will is very proud of you.

You are an amazing woman - you have had so much to cope with and have coped with much grace.

As I have so often said, I will be at the sea tomorrow morning & will look West & send you & yours my love.

Much love from 'the stranger on the internet'. xxx

Mother's Day without you and my Mum. Just another day when I feel your missing keenly. Another day I put on a brave face and pretend that it doesn't hurt like hell. Another day spent protecting others from the sadness of the reality.

Poignant interview with Martin Lewis on the loss of his mum when he was 12. His last words in the interview were something along the lines of it is better to remember the wonderful person you lost than remember you have lost a wonderful person.

I remember you Will. I remember you Mum. Xxxx

I know it is only words on your screen and you don't know me, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you today min, sending you love and strength on what is such a hard day to bear for so many

Not got any articulate words min but I think of you and your darling son everytime I see you post, and in between times too.

I'm sure your beautiful boy would be proud of you too.

Also meant to say thank you for posting that snippet about wonderful people. It has brought me some comfort.

My darling boy. Just a moment to sit quietly and think of you. I love you and miss you. I wish you could find a way to let me know if there's anything else out there, that your journey goes on somehow. I don't think that way of others. I suppose I just want your life/existence/spirit/soul to carry on. 18 years was not long enough.

I'm happy. It's just different. And tinged always with that missing you xxxx

Sending you love and strength @minmooch 💐💕

Late to this - I am not keeping up with social media that much - but so please to hear you are happy, in your own different way.

I think of you, your boys & your girls so often - every time I walk by the sea I remember Will - who I only knew through your on line presence.

Sending my love -

Darling boy it's been a while since I wrote. Not because I don't think of you - I do, always. Life has been tricky in some ways but beautiful in others.

We meet the stonemason this week to finalise your headstone. It's been a long wait for your Dad to be ready.

Your brother is finally in a good place, enjoying life, doing well You would be very proud of him.

Life will change again in the next few months. I shall say goodbye to your home and move in with my lovely partner. Happiness and sadness side by side.

Missing you today for some reason. No special dates. Could just do with hearing your voice.

Know that I love you and miss you. Know that I try my best to live a full and happy life as that would be what you want. Time goes by. You are in my thoughts always.

Love you, miss you xxx

Minmooch, i have just read this thread by chance. I am so sorry for your loss. You are a brave woman and a wonderful mother. Your son will be proud of you.

Min, I am so pleased to hear you have 'a lovely new partner'. You deserve every bit of happiness you can find.

So pleased to hear the news of 'brother'. (Won't use names as you haven't).

Think of you often.

Thank you Magi. Don't know why I didn't say Alex. I'm very identifiable on here if anyone were that interested in me :-)

I love you darling boy. I miss the very bones of you. Could just do with knowing I could pick up the phone and hear your voice. It's little things like that that hurt. Thousands of little razor sharp cuts.

Xxx