My beautiful son - part 2

[minmooch]

My last thread is full so here goes another one.

This is a place where I write about my son - Will - who died aged 18 after enduring the horrors of brain cancer. He was kind, gentle, funny, quirky, intelligent, an inspiration. He endured for two years and 3 months of treatment with dignity, humour, positivity and strength.

Thank you for all your lovely words and for thinking of me/Will over his anniversary.

I survived the huge wave that hit, thought it would swamp me but I came out spluttering - thank you for those words Serendipity.

So here we go into the third year without you my darling boy. I'll try to swim in the sea and not be quite so swamped. No promises though.

I love you. I miss you. Every day. Every minute.

Minmooch somehow the word 'horror' has touched me and I'm really glad you've voiced it. When my wonderful little brother died of cancer horror was everywhere, but somehow no-one mentioned it. It was, and is, very lonely to live with.

I'm so sorry lucky that you lost your brother. It's devastating to watch a loved one go that way and especially hard when it's a child.

The media love to portray cancer children as smooth headed angels smiling as they experience various activities. The truth behind those images is so far removed. My poor boy suffered horrifically through his treatment. The horror will never leave me.

yes, I know what you mean - it's all "brave" "battle" and "bucket list". No-one ever says "terror" "despair" or "horror". It's all so shit. And I'm really sorry to hear (on another thread) that you lost your mum too shortly after your son. That must be so hard to get your head around, or to accept that you may never get your head around (if that makes sense).

By god I miss you today.

The family continues to grow, the latest little cousin is 1 today. Celebrations are normal. It just hit me again that there's no chance of you having children let alone all that you are missing.

It's terrible but sometimes other people's families are easier for me than my own.

I love you in ways that words can't express, I miss you in ways that are too hard to write.

Darling min xxxxxx
Thinking of you and both your boys today

Reading and listening Min, so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. I'm thinking of you and your boy xxx

I am so sorry. I have a boy who is now the same age as Will was when he became ill. My heart goes out to you. And him for all he endured. I wish you both some peace.

Thank you everyone.

Some days the missing is just more painful than others.

I'm coming up to the ten year anniversary of losing my twin daughters in late pregnancy and that grief is complicated.

I miss my mum too - some days it's all a bit much.

6 years ago yesterday I took you to hospital as I thought something was wrong. At lunchtime you were diagnosed with a large brain tumour and so our nightmare began.

Horrible flashbacks, feelings of terror, horror, uncontrolable fear. Having to remain calm for you my darling.

How did this happen? How come it was you not me? It doesn’t get much easier with time passing - I suppose it gets different, maybe less raw.

I love you and miss you my darling boy.

Big hugs to you minmooch

Another hug with kind thoughts too from me

I so wish there were some words or actions that could help you min, and indeed all of us.

Be kind to yourself x

Your birthday today - should be 22, forever 18. Love you always, every minute, every day. Xxxx

to you all

Put the tree up today my darling. You loved Christmas. I still find it hard. I'll never understand the whys? Why you? Why us? Why such an horrific way to go? I'll never get over you. Never forget you. Will always love and miss you xxxx

I haven't been around much, Min as have had a lot of stuff going on in life.

I was thinking of you & Will & Alex & the girls today when I walked by the sea & then log in & here you are.

There is no answer to you for that 'Why?'.

I so wish there was.

Sending my love westwards from the stranger on the internet.

So very sorry for the loss of your lovely son he sounds wonderful, no words can help, but we send our love nonetheless.

Huge hugs Min. I remember your previous threads but hadn't seen this one until just now. There are no words to help but I so wish there were.

My darling boy - another Christmas without you. I hope upon hope that your journey wherever you are is exciting. You deserved that in this life. I like to imagine you on a shooting star whooping your way around the universe! If there is ever a way of letting me know that there is something else let me know. I look for you. I look for signs.

I love you with every beat of my heart and will miss you until I take my last breath.

Min, I asked for a sign once and immediately saw a shooting star. It brings me comfort. I love the idea of Will whooping round with joy and abandon!

Wherever he is, he's not in pain or distress and he's not unhappy or sad - maybe you can take some consolation from that? And he would not want you and your family to be suffering in the way that you are.

I know nothing will ever assuage your grief but I hope you will find a kind of peace this coming year.

I do have love, laughter and joy in my life Twitter. My grief for my boy lives alongside, is intwined with the rest. This space is for my thoughts for him, for me, for releasing the pressure, for saying things I can't in real life. I miss him and always will.

Hope today is as OK as it can be for you, Min.

Walked by the sea this morning & sent my love & thoughts to you, your boys & girls.

With love from the stranger on the internet and am glad that this space helps you.

Minmooch remembering your beautiful boy and all the lost children today. I hope you get your sign for Christmas

I know minmooch.
My second Christmas without my son.
Sending you love and understanding.

Thinking of you at this time Min. I saw you on the cat thread and felt so sorry. I have had only a little insight into grief and already it seems too much. I think of you very often. I wish you peace, you so deserve it.