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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Lemon's Mum

999 replies

lemonzest123 · 14/09/2016 11:37

Hi MNers,

Thanks for tipping me off about the message limit on my other thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2725008-Would-any-MNers-be-able-to-help-tonight?pg=1&order=

I am stunned and unbelievably humbled to see that one little post I wrote sparked 1000 messages, and Im so appreciative of all you personal stories and jokes to cheer me up.

MN is offically amazing and you're all fantastic.

DM had a rough night, she apparently woke in the night with a bad headache which I think confirmed the disease has moved into her head (we expected this, apparently what's causing the paralysis often appears in the brain too). Still no appetite and sleeping all the time.

Sad

Hope everyone had a good night. I had yet more nightmares - theyre all about Mum and they all horrible. Shouty I is in fine voice this morning. Dad said he heard Shouty I bellowing to Shouty II to shut up the other day. Pot, meet kettle Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 01:22

Thanks darlings.

I'm in my flat. DP made amazing supper and we watch a bear documentary (my favourite) and bake off
DF is sitting with her and on WhatsApp. Said she's very quiet. I don't think it'll be long. Feel too many emotions to express. Is lovely in my little room though, with my oil burner and DP curled around me asleep.

Praying.

Thanks again for your overwhelmingly generous support.

Xxxxxx

OP posts:
GingerbreadLatteToGo · 29/09/2016 01:24

Hi Lovely Lemon

I'm sorry you've had such a rough day x

I hope you are sleeping now & get a full nights rest. I so wish there was something more I/we could do for you. You will tell us won't you, if you think of anything.

Biggest hugs
X

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 01:28

Also by some weird misery telepathy ex person (I can't call him xDP as he has always been a shitbag of the highest order) picks TODAY of all days get back in touch wanting to make amends (not spoken since January when i threw him out). I know he couldn't have known but GOD it made me so so so so angry!

OP posts:
GingerbreadLatteToGo · 29/09/2016 01:30

Cross posted with you 😊

Sleeping men are like sleeping babies IMO all the cuter for it - as long as they aren't snoring! Yours sounds lovely when he's awake too though!

I watched Bake Off, that Andrew is a real little sweetie isn't he. As for whatshisname in the floral shirt...I could keep him company for a bit 😁 and Paul Hollywood The Bakers this year really don't seem to be up to scratch IMO. What do you think?

Anyway, I shouldn't be encouraging you to chat, you should put the oil burner out, snuggle up to DP & get some sleep X

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 29/09/2016 01:31

That's kind of perfect in a way - take all your anger out on him. Let rip...

😁

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 01:42

I didn't even respond, just deleted. I'll have to see him later this year at my friends wedding. Ex shit bag and me never told our group of friends we were shagging seeing each other so she will definitely sit me with him. However I will be with DP who is extremely tall, very built and has lots of tattoos and piercings (he's actually a pussycat but exSB isn't to know this). ExSB is also short and a bit porky. I will be resplendent in silk and nauseatingly smug.

I adore Andrew! What a sweety. Sad about Rav though, I love him. I think Benjamina and Selasi are having a little flirtly flirt!

WhatsApping DF songs to play to DM.

OP posts:
saffronwblue · 29/09/2016 02:35

Lemon I am so glad you are feeling cosy and cherished as you should be. You have the strength to deal with this so you will certainly have the strength to deal with your ex.

icklekid · 29/09/2016 06:32

Sorry I missed your updates overnight lemon been trying to help dd feed/sleep whilst both of us are full of cold.

Am glad you went home as sounds like you can rest even if can't sleep. Praying for you all as are many others.

As for GBBO yes to Benjamina and Selas flirting. They are brilliant to watch though! I agree to no exceptional bakers this year- maybe it is time...

Think I said I would update on ds and mission give up the dummy- night 2 was a success! This may be easier than expected...famous last words!

IsItOnTheTrolley · 29/09/2016 07:11

Morning Lemon, just a quick note as I'm off to work, you made the right decision in deleting the message from short, porky old ex, remember to wear heels too when you see him next.

(((Hugs))) 🌻🌻🌻

boo2410 · 29/09/2016 07:50

Lemon, hope you are still asleep with your gorgeous DP and when you awake you are ready for a new day. Your Darling Mum truly appreciates and cherishes the time you are spending with her. We are all so proud of the way you are handling this heart breaking time. Your DF will appreciate you too and will be getting strength from you. Am glad that you are getting some comfort from our hand holding and hugs, just wish we could do more for you. Hope Coughy and the Shouties don't drown out your music today.

DS came down at 7 looking v tired. I said don't worry it's the weekend tomorrow, he looked at me and said Mum tomorrow's Friday. Oops. That's the trouble when you've been off sick for nearly 11 months. Each day is pretty much the same. Still should be going back in about 3 weeks all being well. Although I work from home I am still very nervous. Daft really as I've been there 22 years and can do the job blindfolded!

Take care Lemon, be back later Flowers Flowers

Ickle, am so glad your DS did night 2 dummy free. Is he asking about it at all. He deserves a Star.

poisonedbypen · 29/09/2016 08:07

Lemon, I haven't posted before but I am thinking of you. I went through this with my mum earlier this year. I was exhausted by the two days it took, so I can't imagine how you are feeling. No helpful comments, just the sympathetic thoughts of a stranger on the internet.

Allatseainthemidlands · 29/09/2016 08:32

Good morning lemon. So glad that you've had a night at home with DP. Whatever the emotions you find coming your way just try to be kind to yourself. Praying for you this morning and for all your family. And a hand hold and a hug whenever you need it.
Selasi absolutely my favourite this year even though I know he won't win- a man who can pipe buttercream roses and carry off a floral shirt- you don't get many of those......

marcopront · 29/09/2016 09:03

Thinking of you.

Part of me wants to say I hope she has a better day but I also know the waiting and anticipation is harder sometimes than the actual death. So I hope you have the best day you can.

FarelyKnuts · 29/09/2016 12:05

Still thinking of you x

sherbetpips · 29/09/2016 12:45

First poster - thinking of you Lemon, went through this with my Dad in April, was about 3 weeks in the end but he passed peacefully which is all anyone can hope for. Strangely all the things he loved when he was well - music, reading, crosswords, tv all went away when he became ill, he literally wanted to do nothing - so we just stayed with him all the way. It would be wrong to say that being with a loved one when they pass is in any way a good experience but I don't think any of us would have it any other way. I literally read up on everything that would happen in the final days/hours so I was well prepared. I think I freaked my brothers and sisters out a bit but knowledge helped me to cope x

boo2410 · 29/09/2016 12:50

Afternoon Lemon, just popped in to see if you are as ok as you can be. Hope if you're not with Darling Mum you are at home chilling. Thinking of you and sending you hugs. Will drop by again later, take care.Flowers Flowers

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 14:34

Ive done that too sherbet, I wanted to be as prepared as possible. Shes very quiet today, hasnt opened her eyes or eaten or drunk.

Been taking nurofen plus for my period pain and worrying about developing a codiene habit as I have a bit of a history.

Lost all sense of time. Apparently its nearly October. What the hell??

OP posts:
Allatseainthemidlands · 29/09/2016 15:12

Hi lemon just popping by to see how things are going. I hope your painkillers are doing the job. Hoping too that your lovely mum is comfortable and peaceful and that whatever the evening and the night brings you will not feel alone.

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 15:16

I've just realised she's never going to talk to me again. Sad

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Poptart27 · 29/09/2016 15:20

Big hugs Lemon Flowers

Grumpyoldblonde · 29/09/2016 15:21

Hi Lemon, I am sorry for what you're going through. You know, your mum will always talk to you, it's a comforting thing that after a person has passed away you still hear them, in your mind, you know each other so well that you know what they would say.

AverageGayLadAtChristmas · 29/09/2016 15:21
Flowers

Me again Lemon

It must be so difficult for you that she is unable to talk - but just know I'm certain you're always in her thoughts, much like she is in yours Flowers

boo2410 · 29/09/2016 15:54

Oh Lemon my lovely, your post made me feel really sad. I really cannot begin to imagine what you are going through and how you must be feeling. Sending you a hug and a hand squeeze. Will drop by later. Take care Flowers Flowers

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 16:28

All three of us are here but we keep falling asleep!

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Sunnydawn · 29/09/2016 16:32
Flowers

I still hear my Dad, and sometimes I feel that he nearby. It is very comforting.