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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Lemon's Mum

999 replies

lemonzest123 · 14/09/2016 11:37

Hi MNers,

Thanks for tipping me off about the message limit on my other thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2725008-Would-any-MNers-be-able-to-help-tonight?pg=1&order=

I am stunned and unbelievably humbled to see that one little post I wrote sparked 1000 messages, and Im so appreciative of all you personal stories and jokes to cheer me up.

MN is offically amazing and you're all fantastic.

DM had a rough night, she apparently woke in the night with a bad headache which I think confirmed the disease has moved into her head (we expected this, apparently what's causing the paralysis often appears in the brain too). Still no appetite and sleeping all the time.

Sad

Hope everyone had a good night. I had yet more nightmares - theyre all about Mum and they all horrible. Shouty I is in fine voice this morning. Dad said he heard Shouty I bellowing to Shouty II to shut up the other day. Pot, meet kettle Hmm

OP posts:
boo2410 · 25/09/2016 19:03

Hi Lemon, you must be feeling awful and absolutely wretched. There's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. I'm so glad your darling Mum has been peaceful today. As others have said speak to the nursing staff about Mum, they will hopefully let you know if you and Dad should both stay over. Your Mum knows that you love and care for her very much and wouldn't want you to be afraid. Of course you will be, nothing can stop that. In time you will celebrate the fact that she had a happy life and was surrounded by people who loved her very much. Wishing you much strength for the coming night, please try and have something to eat, even if you are not hungry and just have picky food. Am thinking of you and Dad and will check in later. Take care my lovely. Flowers

dailymaillazyjournos · 25/09/2016 19:11

Lemon you're doing so well. It's ok to feel scared. If you think it might help you can always talk to any of the staff on duty . They will be used to close relatives feeling all sorts of things and be there for you as well as your Mum.

Not eating and sleeping more is a sign that her tired body is gradually slowing down. She doesn't need food unless she asks for anything. It's also normal if she appears restless or fidgety at times. Keep posting if it helps and ask the staff for support if you need it. They won't mind..

Grumpyoldblonde · 25/09/2016 20:04

Ah Lemon, it sounds like your mum is nearly ready to leave this world, I am sorry. She knows she is loved and you will carry her love for you with you always and it will carry on through your children if you go on to have any. You are one strong young woman, she couldn't ask for a better daughter, we will all be here, before, during and after, promise.

Florathefern · 25/09/2016 20:31

She might be feeling at peace, and ready for her body to go to sleep. I've heard it can sometimes be a relief to feel ready. I couldn't ask for more than to have my girls by my side. I hope they grow up to be you and with me. I'm thinking of you, your DM and your DF and wishing you calm and peace xx

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 25/09/2016 20:39

Thanks everyone. She looks very peaceful. I'm a little upset because the blankets on my Mum's bed have been changed and the one they've taken away is one from home that me and Mum used to snuggle under on the sofa. Lovely nurse is going to help me to find it.

OP posts:
maybethedayafter · 25/09/2016 20:41

I'm thinking of you Lemon. There will be someone around all through the night so if you write again you shouldn't have to wait too long for a response. I'll be checking back when I'm up for night feeds. We're all here to support, distract or comfort you. Use us as needed.

Fanofjapan · 25/09/2016 20:46

Sending you the biggest hugs Lemon x

IsItOnTheTrolley · 25/09/2016 20:47

Oh Lemon, hope you find your blanket. Sad

Hand held, and a big (((hug))) 🌻🌻🌻

Allatseainthemidlands · 25/09/2016 20:51

We're all here lemon - thinking of you and your mum and dad. We won't leave you on your own. You're a wonderful daughter. Be kind to yourself.
On the bright side at least you're missing the X Factor ......FlowersFlowers

bookbook · 25/09/2016 20:54

Hopefully you will find the blanket
Thoughts are with you this evening

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 25/09/2016 20:55

I hope they find your blanket soon, stuff like that is really, really hard to deal with on top of what you're already going through 💐

'Calm &/but scared' is 'normal'. To be honest, & there's n nice way to say this, it's all a mind fuck. What you know, what you want, what you wish, what you feel...all bashing about in your head arguing with each other. You can't 'sort it out' you just sort of have to let it happen. I sometimes wish I could take my head off & put it in the fridge for a few hours - a few hours not to think, and to cool it down.

TheBouquets · 25/09/2016 21:09

Hi Lemon
Thinking of you and your dear mum. Do not worry about be scared that is normal. You will always have your dmum in your heart and head.
Hand holding

Potentialmadcatlady · 25/09/2016 21:15

Hi lemon...I have been reading but not posting..I went through similar with my Mum earlier this year..I know what you are going through and how important the blanket will be to you..My Mum had 'my' blanket on her bed until the end..I hope you have found it...I am thinking about you and your Mum and your Dad..be kind to yourself...I know how hard it is and my thoughts are truly with you..

Itsabeautifuldaytosavelives · 25/09/2016 21:38

Lemon, another hand to hold here. You are so very strong, I am thinking of you.

whitehandledkitchenknife · 25/09/2016 22:03

Everyone's here and holding hands around you all Lemon. I don't care if it's unmumsnetty. Here's a hug too.

WyldChyld · 25/09/2016 22:24

Hand holding lemon. I'll have a quiet moment and send you and your lovely family my thoughts tonight

marriednotdead · 25/09/2016 22:28

Hi Lemon, I post dearly on your first thread and I'm sorry that you and your mum are enduring such a painfully protracted goodbye. I really hope that's not an offensive thing to say... Wishing you peace in your head and your heart in the coming hours and days. Another one who will be thinking of you and sending virtual handholds Flowers

marriednotdead · 25/09/2016 22:28

Posted early...

boo2410 · 25/09/2016 22:35

I'll second everything that everyone has said Lemon. We are all here with you and giving you strength. With us around you are not on your own. Your dearest Mum has had enough now and is winding down for her final journey. It's going to be so difficult for you and your Dad who are left behind. Your Mum will always be in your heart and be holding your hand, whenever you think of her she will be right by your side. Whenever I get a notification about your thread my heart is in my mouth. I am thinking of you and hope Mums night is peaceful and that you manage to sleep a bit. Be back later. Take care Flowers Flowers

Marcipex · 25/09/2016 22:38

Thinking of you and your mum lemon.

Fanlightfanny · 25/09/2016 22:56

Another one here Lemon, thinking of you and your Mum. God bless.

thereinmadnesslies · 25/09/2016 23:03

Keep going Lemon. You are doing so well and your Mum will be so grateful for your care and the time you have given her, even if she can't express it.

Ankleswingers · 25/09/2016 23:09

Hugs to you Lemon, you and your Mum are in my thoughts. Flowers

saffronwblue · 25/09/2016 23:18

Another hand hold lemon. Please know people all around the world are thinking of you and your dear Mum.

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 25/09/2016 23:19

Thanks so much everyone. I've out the lights out and put some tunes on...told her I love her and said goodnight sleep tight. Been praying by her bed, saying thanks for my amazing family and friends and DP (and MN!), and asking for her to remain peaceful.

Still no blanket though. DF doesn't think its important but it is to me!!

OP posts:
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