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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Lemon's Mum

999 replies

lemonzest123 · 14/09/2016 11:37

Hi MNers,

Thanks for tipping me off about the message limit on my other thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2725008-Would-any-MNers-be-able-to-help-tonight?pg=1&order=

I am stunned and unbelievably humbled to see that one little post I wrote sparked 1000 messages, and Im so appreciative of all you personal stories and jokes to cheer me up.

MN is offically amazing and you're all fantastic.

DM had a rough night, she apparently woke in the night with a bad headache which I think confirmed the disease has moved into her head (we expected this, apparently what's causing the paralysis often appears in the brain too). Still no appetite and sleeping all the time.

Sad

Hope everyone had a good night. I had yet more nightmares - theyre all about Mum and they all horrible. Shouty I is in fine voice this morning. Dad said he heard Shouty I bellowing to Shouty II to shut up the other day. Pot, meet kettle Hmm

OP posts:
bookbook · 21/09/2016 09:06

sorry - been away.
Hope you have had a peaceful night.
Sat with a cup of tea , needing to get on, but not wanting to , as decorating bekons - all the horrible 'prep' bits which I hate, but are totally necessary..

Grumpyoldblonde · 21/09/2016 10:27

Morning Lemon, I hope you have had some sleep. I am sorry things are so rough for all of you. Very difficult.

You know if we all come to the wedding you will have to warn the venue to get extra supplies of gin in for the Mumsnet crowd?
I hope you have a peaceful day, will pop by again later.

boo2410 · 21/09/2016 11:29

Hi Lemon, hope last night was not too bad and that you managed a little sleep. Lovely day here today, blue skies and no clouds. Hope it's like that where you are, always makes me feel more optimistic. Here's hoping you and DMum have a peaceful day. Thinking of you all, take care. Will pop back later.

boobyooby · 21/09/2016 13:00

Hi Lemon, sorry not been on here for a few days but have been thinking about you lots xx

dailymaillazyjournos · 21/09/2016 13:06

Hope things are as calm as they can be Lemon.. I'm on a train to London to help look after dgd who is having her 1 year jabs today. She has been very grotty after the others and just wants to cuddle her Mum. So I will help with the cooking, washing and generally help out. Am allegedly in the quiet coach but everyone around me has talked non stop.the entire time.

lemonzest123 · 21/09/2016 15:07

Hi my beautiful online support network!

Sorry I haven't posted - I was reading all your updates last night though. Got off about 2.30 then nurses came it at 5 and that was me done for the night. Powering through now as I'm seeing my new GP at 5. Going to speak to them about getting back into counselling.

Sad one all round last night. DF was texting during the night from home obviously upset, I think its because he was packing up all the stuff at home (winch, hospital bed etc) to be collected. DM has eaten a lot today but still sparko and no obviousnsigns of pain.

Unbelievably tired.

I officially hate Shouty II. She was bloody bellowing like a wounded rhino last night. Who ever Johnny is he has a lot to answer for. grumbles

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lemonzest123 · 21/09/2016 15:58

Today's random uncontrollable emotion...Rage!

Ooooh look at you playing you're acoustic guitar on a train with all your festival wristbands on I bet you're so fucking edgey and deep. Knobfaced guitar loving plonker.

In death stared her and sat somewhere else.

Stupid dick head.

U? Me?? Lol

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Florathefern · 21/09/2016 16:03

It is cloudy and cold here. I have put the heating on and feel like eating junk. I'm meeting a friend this evening who I love meeting but I'm tired and cold and want an early night. You must be exhausted Lemon. I hope you have an easy and early night, a nice warm bath and bed. x

Queenbean · 21/09/2016 16:38

Ooooh look at you playing you're acoustic guitar on a train with all your festival wristbands on I bet you're so fucking edgey and deep. Knobfaced guitar loving plonker.

If this didn't make you angry there would be something very wrong with you! Guitar playing wanker Grin

SingaSong12 · 21/09/2016 17:14

Lemon - you've got a healthier solution than me. I hate noise on trains but more likely to sit there and fume internally and get angry, then later annoyed that I didn't say something or move.

IsItOnTheTrolley · 21/09/2016 17:21

Why do people wear their wristbands after the event? Never really got that, we snip ours off ASAP.

I remember during my nurse training, a little old lady, who was nursed in a side room as she was quite vocal, would shout out the last word she heard as we left her room. No, of course we never said anything inappropriate, I'm a professional you know! This was back in the 80's though, when the NHS had a sense of humour...😜😷😜

Ok, off now to wrap some sticky gingerbread ready for our Macmillan cake sale, hope your afternoon is going as well as it can. Will be back later. 🌻

lemonzest123 · 21/09/2016 17:27

Let me play you the song of my people....

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Allatseainthemidlands · 21/09/2016 17:48

Hi lemon I hope you're ok it sounds as if you've had a really tough 24 hours. We're all still here and you know we have you very much in mind.
I'm crazy busy with 'stuff' at the moment- school assemblies, sermons to write, activities to organise etc. And just been told I will be working Boxing Day as well as Christmas Day and Christmas Eve (heart sinks at the thought slightly)
I had to conduct a funeral today - always a difficult thing to do- and I was thinking of you and your lovely mum. Sorry- not very cheerful stuff. Came home and ate a quite astonishing amount of chocolate ice cream and had WAY too much coffee and still feel flattened. Brownies and guides this evening which at least will provide a contrast...
Hoping you have ça peaceful and guitar free evening FlowersWine

dailymaillazyjournos · 21/09/2016 19:29

Sounds a long and tough day. Edgy guitar bloke plus wristbands would have had my hand twitching in preparation for a much needed slap. I travelled to London on what must have been the unquietest quiet coach ever. No point booking it to be honest.
Is lovely to see baby dgd. Despite the fact that she'd had jabs in all limbs she out her arms out for me to hold and cuddle her after her nap. So touching as I've not seen her for 6 weeks. Now sat down waiting for dinner to cook and hopefully watching bake off in a bit. Are u staying with your Mum overnight tonight. You must be squeaking with exhaustion :(

icklekid · 21/09/2016 21:23

Hi lemon sorry it's been a while since I last posted but been thinking about you and reading. Will pop back middle of the night feed to see how your doing

boo2410 · 21/09/2016 22:18

Hey there Lemon, how's today been? Been thinking about you and DMum today. Hope you are at home tonight comfy in your bed. Will drop by later.

icklekid · 22/09/2016 04:18

Back again- the rage is tough to know how to deal with- hope there are people you can vent to in real life. Your dp sounds like he would happily join in to support you. Hope gp appointment was useful - counselling sounds very sensible. Did he refer you?
Hope your df is ok today- can imagine the reality of your dm not coming home probably hit him again. You are all doing so well. Flowers

Marcipex · 22/09/2016 07:28

Hi Lemon
I hid my guitar in the wardrobe before I posted.
I'm working this morning, then I expect I'll have to collect DGS from school early. I know he wants to go, but he broke his arm yesterday so I expect him not to stay the course.
DGD is three, I'll collect her from nursery too, but she'll be happy because overnight I have let out her Frozen dress so she can still wear it. The next size up is about a foot too long so I'm hoping she can get a bit more wear out of this one.
I'll look in later to see how your mum is x

Allatseainthemidlands · 22/09/2016 08:47

Good morning lemon saying prayers for you and your mum and all the family this morning. The waiting and watching is so tough and I'm full of admiration for you. Wishing you strength. I really hope you've rested and that today is peaceful. And that the rage doesn't result in the destruction of too many musical instruments Wink

FarelyKnuts · 22/09/2016 08:47

Morning Lemon. Have been on an Internet ban to try and enjoy being on holiday in Spain.
Heading home tomorrow and am getting that big wave of sadness at the thought of not having mum there when we get back to ask a thousand questions about the weather/food/what did we do/see etc 🙁
Been thinking of you. Sending you care and light x

boo2410 · 22/09/2016 10:05

Hiya Lemon, just popped in to see how you are doing. Hope you had a good night. Lovely carer Tom washed and dried my hair this morning, God it feels so much better, I felt like a right minger!!! Yuck Will drop by again later. Thinking of you.

Fanlightfanny · 22/09/2016 14:18

Afternoon Lemon, how's it going? Hope everything is quiet and peaceful for you?

lemonzest123 · 22/09/2016 16:57

Hugging all of you mentally. midlands are you a vicar?? What an amazing job. I have so much respect for what you do. What are funerals normally like? Ive only been to two. My DGM's was extremely sad but my god son's brithers was unbelievably joyful considering how he was tragically killed at 21, bless him.

Nope, not overniting tonight DF is. I dont think itsnworth overnighting for only one night as you bugger up your sleep pattern for no reason. I will do Friday and Sat.

Haha marci I play too but I still found her behaviour obnoxious! Also shenwas playing Wish You Were Here badly, felt like teling her I had mastered that age 11 (because am generally unpleasant cow these days)

Poor DGS! I think kids massively take breaks in their stride at that age though. DBro and me bith have Brittle Bones so we had about 20 breaks between us as kids, just sort of trundled along.

knuts I know exactly how you feel :( I adore DF but he's not a chatter. My DM was interested in me to a fault. Still cant believe Ill never have her ask me how work is, how DP is etc. again. Its like you're losing the one person om earth who is biologically programmed to find all your bullshit interesting. How will I cope without her advice?

Side thought, whats the protocol for telling rellies that live abroad who we dont speak too Confused Just not tell them I suppose....

DM freaked me out a bit just now... she randomly opened her eyes (properly, she normally only opens them a little these days) but she stared right at me for about a minute. I like sitting here on the windowsill as it means she can see me if she opens her eyes.

I wonder how much she's aware of. When the nurses talk to her and ask how are you she always says "Not too bad thank you" but I know that's because it's her standard reply - she says itbeven if shes in horrible pain.

Also Ive noticed (almost certainly because of a braim tumour) shes incapable of making any decisions, even little ones. If you ask her tonchoose between two options she simply cant do it and gets stressed.

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IsItOnTheTrolley · 22/09/2016 17:00

Hi Lemon, just looking in to see how you are.

I've just collected DDs from school, as they couldnt face the school bus for an hour down all the lanes, so what did they do with the extra 30 minutes? Stare at their iPads, get me to make them a smoothie, tell me how tired they were... Hmm

I hope your day has been calm and settled with no outbursts from the Shouties. I love the stillness of Autumn afternoons.

Will check in on you later, (((big))) 🌻🌻🌻

lemonzest123 · 22/09/2016 17:23

Am having a little secret blub because I couldnt get DM to eat any dinner at all. I tried several times but she just closes her eyes tighter then gets angry with me Sad DF will prob be disappointed. Whats the point of forcing it down her if she doesnt want it though Sad

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