Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

II glad that you managed to get through the day and go back with your son's it is good to have that time and to cry. I am sure he would of been proud of you standing there and to hear such lovely things about him, it is nice to hear you had the support from your village obviously loved very much. as for the stone I am unsure mums was up very quickly but it is a kind of woodland area and the stones very small with just name and date hopefully someone else can advise on that..how are you now?

Oh boy am I glad to be back on here. I have really missed you all. First my condolences to new posters.
During all the hacking MN somehow de registered me and it's taken all these days to get back, it has been a total nightmare with lots of emails being sent. But for now all is ok. I now have no history and no pm,s ! All has been lost. So glad to see you all

thank god your back wasn't the same without you!

It was awful SM. After loads of emails back and forth MN then said they realised that they had de regged me. Have tried various means to get back on and nothing worked. Today I managed to set up a new mail address and I even had problems with that. But after several more emails this morning to MN I finally got back.
Many thanks to charlotte from HQ.
I felt awful when I could see there were new posters and I couldn't post. I was still able to read. I had to somehow keep my name in my new name, I didn't want to be a stranger and this is what I finally arrived at after several attempts and different name changes. But all is well again.
I didn't realise how much I would miss everyone and how MN is a big part of my life.
Anyway , how are you SM. I know you were quite down the other day.

dyne I am glad that you managed to cope quite well with the funeral. It takes a lot , but it's surprising where we get that added strength from when we most need it. Just carry on now taking each day as it comes.

velma I am very sorry for the awful and unexpected loss of your dear mum. I have not been able to post fir a week that's why I am so late replying to you. That is a very long time fir your parents to of been married and I guess your dad will be utterly lost at this time. Hopefully you can support each other.it is a very fraught time for you and all your family, but hopefully you can all get by with supporting each other.
Without my brothers I don't know how I would of coped. Plus I have very good friends who were all very supportive too. It really does help.
It is good to have a good cry , it's far better to do that than let it all build up. Take care of yourself. That's what your mum would want.

sounds like it's been a right pain in the arse. your right though I felt a bit lost when it was off without you guys and the bargain thread feeling a bit better now, how are you?

glad you are feeling a bit better sm and YAY mummylin is back!

things can go back to normal around here!

I'm sorry, I didnt mean to ignore the new posters, I'm glad you have found this thread girls, its such a comfort to us all x

I was chomping at the bit ssd I didn't not know what to do with myself and when I was reading the thread and could see new posters and I couldn't post it was awful. Still I'm back merrily posting away now ! ( I had to listen even more to dh going on about you know what )
I really thought I was never going to get back on and I didn't want anyone to think I had just gone, that is why I asked Nutella to post to say I was having problems, didn't realise that it would go on for over a week though !

I know its really frustrating not being able to get on here, its amazing how really strangers on the internet can feel like old friends! and of course to try to help the new posters, cos we know how bad they feel

Yes it's strange isn't it SSD . I really missed everyone. And have been a real grump the past few days, especially when my dh kept saying " aren't you back on yet " and my ds telling me that he read in the paper that mumsnet was closed forever ! But I didn't fall for that one
But I'm sure it must of been an absolute nightmare for MN , why do some people try and cause so much distress to others ? It's beyond me.
Went to the crem on Sunday and I'm sure that some big branches near my two graves have dropped down lower than they were. I'm going to keep my eye on them and if they get any lower I will go to the office in crem and tell them about it. I don't want the headstones ruined.

Well, I've had a busy few days. We found out what my Mam died from and it has provided comfort to my DDad that there was nothing he could have actually done and it has relieved some of the guilt he felt with regards the 'what if I did this instead of that'.

DDad now seems as though he is coming to terms with it all and can now speak the words, "my wife has passed away" rather than talking about her in the present tense. I'm sure he still feels incredible sadness, but thankfully he has a positive take on life and that you've just got to make the best of it.

We have registered her death and sorted out the arrangements for the funeral, which is just under 2 weeks away. DDad found her Will and life policy, which was a sticking point that was delaying us being able to do certain things, such as altering the details of the bank account and moving money about etc.

Yesterday I told DH that I felt as though she really hadn't gone and DDad would turn and say to me that we were going to collect her from somewhere. Today I've been super busy, but have returned back home with DD. We have had our tea out and whilst I was eating this overwhelming sadness come over me again. I was holding it together and then DD wanted the toilet and on the way I saw the disabled facilities and that was the trigger that set me off. The realisation that I'll not have to take her to the toilet anymore and the reminder that it was in a disabled bathroom that she last hugged me (19 days ago) and I gently washed her hands and brushed her sticking up hair down with my hands.

I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to get a fit for work note to give me some extra time off work. I need time to get my head together. For the past week I've been keeping it together to make sure my DDad is ok and to be clear in my head to ring the appropriate people up etc.

I know the sadness is fine and expected, but I don't want to feel like this. I have to keep on reminding myself that she wasn't happy being disabled and it fristrated her, but I wish we had her a few more years.

Re the headstone, my dad passed away in Feb and his stone still isn't ready... we ordered it straightaway after the funeral but takes a good few months they said. Well done for getting through the day...

Yay mummylin is back!!

I don't live near my family but sent mum some flowers yesterday to say how proud dad would be of her and how well she's coping

Hi atarfish we had to wait about six months before we could have a headstone put up. It's to do with the earth having to settle or something like that. In a strange way I was very glad when it was eventually put in place, it sort of felt more complete, and it was more like a " proper grave "
It is all such a sad event in our lives isn't it, but somehow we get through day by day.

Hi everyone.
A few names I (sadly) recognise here from other threads, ssd, mummylin, derxa, amongst others.

Well this is a thread I knew I was going to be joining sooner or later. DDad died this morning. He has been ill for a long time and was in palliative care (hospice) for the last 3 weeks. I had already planned to fly out there tomorrow so I missed seeing him one last time. I was there (Canada) only last week. Last time I saw him was 2 weeks ago today.

I think I am numb. It's all very surreal.

I am so sorry for your loss hearts . It is a very painful time for you and your family. I think it's one of the most stressful times ever as well as the most upsetting .i am glad that you saw him only a couple of weeks ago, that will give you some comfort in the future.
I think when a death first happens, our brains can't believe it's true, our heart does but as you say it's surreal.
Over the coming days you will be on a roller coaster of emotions, at times you will think you can actually cope, them 5 minutes later be in tears, such an emotional time for you.
I hope you have good support from other family and friends, just take care of yourself.
I used to wonder how everyone could possibly just be going about their daily business, didn't they know my mum had just died ! Completely irrational of course but that's how I felt.
I hope you manage to get some good sleep tonight.

sad you have to join us on this thread. It's a difficult time- sounds a cliche but it's true. I had no idea how exhausted I would feel. Tell me about your dad Hearts.

Thank you both

I am very very lucky. We had all the time we needed to say all the things we wanted to say. DD1 and DD2 are sad but so far appear to be coping well. I have great support in real life. It was time for him to go. He felt that too. He was in so much pain and now he is at peace. He had a very long, happy and productive life. All the platitudes and cliches are 100% true. And yet it is still so, so hard.

I can't wait to get there and be with my mum. Fortunately my brother got there last night so she wasn't alone.

Derxa. Thank you for asking about him. Just the question alone almost made me cry! I need to stay businesslike for the next couple of hours but once I am at the airport I can relax. I have a LOT of tissues packed in my carry on.

I am sure that your Mum will find it a huge comfort to have you and your brother with her at this very sad time. Stock of tissues is a good idea !

Arghhh I'm logged in on the mobile site & I can't find the newest posts ???? I keep flipping the thread & getting lost !!! x

Dyne, my dad died last November, I can't remember exactly when my mum ordered the gravestone (probably 3 months after???) and it should be ready soon, she is literally expecting a phone call with a date ... any day x in the meantime his grave has a wooden cross with an engraved plaque in it ... I have no idea if my brother made the cross, when or where it was done because I have little to do with his grave ... I've only been twice, I don't feel the need (or I suppose want to) go there x I'm sure that for headstones etc, you have to wait approx 9 months for the ground to settle x

Heart ... I'm sorry for your loss, please keep posting x

Chicken, go into customise and you can choose which way you want to read the posts !

i dont like the mobile site :( ill be on less if i have to be at the pc though. how is everyone?