Trucking - the way you phrased it that as time goes on you feel worse because 'the true meaning of forever becomes clearer' - that is so, so true for me now. Over a month since dad went, and in many ways I feel so much sadder now than I did in the first week.
Went to a street today dad loved because it was full of classical music shops, whenever my parents came to visit me he was so excited to go there.
I had to buy some music for myself, my reflex was to tell dad about it to see what he thought of it (he had v strong opinions re: classical music that tended towards extreme love or hate) but of course I couldn't and knew that all along anyway. But I feel more alone now, music was a big thing we had in common and I can't share that with him any more.
Also cooking. We both loved cooking, whenever I rang him I'd ask him what he was cooking and he'd return the question. I keep cooking things and wanting to tell him about them, and miss hearing him tell me what he was making for him and mum.
It's not like the sadness is throwing me into constant depression and despair, I can still get on with things and laugh and make jokes at work and feel genuinely fine. But then there is such sadness whenever I leave work and start to think about dad.
Mum seems to be doing quite well though which is good as she had sounded low the past few days on the phone. We have booked to go on a sunshine holiday together in August, which will be nice for us. Dad hated holidays in the sun, he was definitely a city-break-in-the-spring person so he wouldn't be jealous of missing out on this at least!
Sorry for the stream of consciousness type post, it's good to have a place just to get everything out.
Hope everyone else here is holding up OK x