YG, when my nan died we planted miniature daffs and snowdrops in plant pots then buried them (cemetary said they would naturalise and be pulled out otherwise), I also put a small shrub myself with evergreen foliage, she loved spring flowers and as I am miles away I don't get to got here very often at all, not as much now anyway. It helps to know the flowers are still there, and my Mu gives me reports abot how they're doing. When my BF died (we were 16, moped accident) her Mum kept the details of the burial a secret (only a few friends, me included were allowed at the cremation, no one but family at internment) but I picked a tree near the crematorium and after I married, went there with my flowers. I think being able to put something so personal somewhere dedicted is so inportant isn't it?
I missed this thread Sunday, but everyone has said things so well anyway. It wuld be more worrying if you didn't miss Nigel, that doesn't make it easier. You'll always miss him. Eventually though you will learn to live with that loss, but it takes time for that to happen. And then there'll be times when you miss the most raw aspects: as if learning to live with it is like letting go. It's a long process, it will take all you life, but you'll cope because you have to for the girls. Do remember though that here is one place where it is OK to NOT cope. Now, six months, five years- when you need us don't worry about it, just say.