Support for Anyone Who Has Lost A Parent,Everyone Welcome ( 6 )

[mummylin2495]

I can't believe we are now on another thread, where has all the time gone ?

I know...a year! Can't believe it really.
A friend came to see me yesterday, but no one else has remembered.
Why would they?
We have watched pirates of the Caribbean and raiders of the lost ark :)
We are about to watch GBBO.
It's now over a year since I saw my lovely dad, heard his voice, hugged him, laughed with him.
I miss him so much.
But...we are all doing the best we can. I know he would be so proud of mum. In the past few weeks she has flown back from Ireland on her own, used trains and buses in Dublin...Amazing.

It's. surprising what people can do when in your mums situation. Where are you going for your holiday ? Is this the same one you couldn't go on before when your ds was in hospital ?

Dad would be astounded :)
She was so very dependant on him.
We are going to wales - not quite menorca but never mind! :)
Boys very excited.
How are you Lin?

I am ok thanks Badvoc. Went to crem earlier and one of my vases somehow had a big hole in the side of it. It actually was one of my mums. But had to throw it away as obviously no good now. Couldn't see the bit that has come out anywhere. Never mind, can't so anything about it . Good job I went today as the previous flowers were on their last legs. I like to go every fortnight to do the two graves. No- one else ever bothers , maybe because they know I will do it ! Makes me a bit cross, but I did promise my mum I would always look after my sisters grave and I will keep to that .

Oh! What a shame.
We have had the groundskeepers break 3 vases now so we have given up :(
Think mum and I will re do dad's flowers tomorrow before we go away.
Pray for good weather! :)

Luckily we have the built in vases on the headstones, 2 on mums and 1 on my sisters so will always have so where for the flowers

Badvoc just popped in quick to say thinking of you, i know its very hard the anniversarys.

im feeling meh my birthday saturday and its hard without my mum im feeling a tad stressed. Arghhh how do you all get the kids to tidy up after them selves?! drives me in blooming sane!!ive had 2 days off and i feel like i havent stopped tidying up!
i guess its been 2 years now and rl friends just assume your going along ok, some people will never know. Oooh its ok t is strong, she's always there for everyone, she'll get through she doesnt think of what she's missing with her mum, no one cares (obv you guys do) my god when do we stop learning with friends!!! still least ive got 2 soul mates and id rather have them than the 15 others via work etc, that actually are take!

sorry rant over, but seriusly sometimes it all just hits me. BUT i will try my damndest to have a good birthday saturday as i know she will kick my arse, and i WILL raise a toast to my mum friday and if any of my family dont like it they can kiss my !

I will drop in over the weeked and bring cake and we all have a cuppa xx

Hi T. Thank you.
Wrt to the kids and being tidy...I give up over her holidays. I spend the week after they go back blitzing the house - no point til then! :)
I hope you have a happy birthday T.
I saw a great quote - it's from a film actually - it's a message from a person who has died to his family...I wonder if it might help you?

"So I raise a toast to you. And, should you remember that it's the anniversary of my birth, remember that you were loved by me and you made my life a happy one. And there's no tragedy in that."

X

Nice badvoc. Really nice saying and I know she will be. I've had my signs this week just hope I get something on the day. But some times signs just aren't good enough.

Hope your going along best you can.
How did your mum do with the counciling? It helped my dad somewhat. He still has hard times but I def think cruse helped. They helped me xx

badvochave a great holiday, you deserve it

Well my birthday tomorrow! Was upset today but felt better later on had a party tonight small lil gathering with my dad and bro and his wife and mother in law. Raised a glass to her we played tell me which is a game it was funny so it was a good night. Breakfast tomorrow with hubby and girls and getting my hair done tomorrow aft.

Here is thanks everyone for being there for me when I've needed it xx

Happy birthday to you T my gd shares it with you, it is her 18th today. Much excitement from her ! Have a great day x

happy birthday to you T, hope you enjoy your special day

ah thanks lin and SM!! Have had a great day reflective but great, the kids and hubby have totally spoilt me and have had lots of lovely gifts off my family, mil and bro etc. and some money which I cant wait to spend, i know it wont be lasting long once i get a handbag, new umbrella and new pair of sandles Happy birthday to your GD lin, ahhh 18 key to the door i remember i had a lovely gold key necklace and channel no 5 perfume and a coin ring which ive still got the coin ring and i think somewhere the key necklace, hope your GD has had a lovely day xx

Just got home after listening to thumping music going on at dd,s. there were about 25 teens there who stayed at the house till about midnight, then they all went off clubbing !!!! One of them was the taxi service, she charged them all £5 each and made several trips, what a good way to earn extra money !!
Gd had a lovely time and I'm sure they are all having a great time down town as I am typing this.
T so glad you too were spoilt and had lots of lovely gifts

I went to see my GP yesterday. He didnt take my pulse or blood pressure or anything!! Just said I was depressed...I AM NOT DEPRESSED I am missing my Dad which, in turn, makes me think about my boys. He prescribed Sertraline - an anti depressent. I read the infomation inside the packet and I will not be taking them. The hundreds of side effects are revolting. Talked to two of my friends on FBook - both are nurses and one works in A & E at the local hospital. Both of them said the side effects are not good with the tablets and dont think I have depression - both advised me to either go back to see GP and not to take them.

GP looked at me when I first went in and said 'You must be Harry's daughter you look so much like him!' Then he got really upset when I said he had died.....think he should take the tablets not me!!!!

sorry the gp visit didn't go so well shabbs I can understand why you don't want to have the side effects of the tables when mum first got Ill I was prescribed sleeping tablets they were awful I was like a different person. never again. how nice that the gp knew your dad but must of been difficult for you.

my birthday on thursday, wish it wasn't really my mum was always the birthday one she planned suprises or nice things for us all to do. my family keep asking what I want but there isn't really anything. she always bought me underwear with a mad pattern on that I ended up having to open infront of the whole family. wish she was still here to do that.

Shabbs, sounds the the tablets may very well make you feel ill so you are probably doing the right thing by not taking them. It's awful when you read some of the side affects that taking medicines can give you.
Was it good to know that the doc could see your dad when he saw you ?

SM I remember you telling me about the underwear before, go and treat yourself and count it as a gift from your mum.or get your DP to get you some. My mum always used to buy me a pack of knickers to put with my Xmas stuff, now I'm the same as you and can't have them any more.

Thanks for this post Mummylin and hello to everyone on it, what a sad time for all of us. I wanted to post this as a new thread last week but couldn't think how to start it so this has helped. Perhaps I should have NC but too late now.
I lost DM 12 years ago. I was with her when her consultant told her her cancer was terminal, he took her hands and said "we knew this was coming". I was beyond devastated but she looked me in the eye and promised me she would keep fighting. She was amazing, I can't begin to tell you how proud I was of her. She was alone when she died and she didn't deserve that, but I do believe she chose that time to go. I visited her in the funeral parlour and seeing her cold body just broke something in me.
Fast forward a few years, after she went somehow the rules in the rest of the family changed. Subtly at first, then before I knew if the gloves were off and everything was different, I can't explain it and I hope someone understands what I mean.
Fast forward again, and after a difficult few years DF was diagnosed with terminal cancer too and died nearly 3 years ago. I was with him when he went and it broke my heart when he took his final breath. By this point my DS and I were not speaking (another story) but we joined together at this point and supported each other, and then we went away again, this time there is no return and she has stopped me from seeing her kids, who were once my life.
Now I have no parents, my sister is nothing to me and my beloved niece and nephews are not allowed to see me. I have lost my whole family. Some days, most days, I can cope with this thanks to AD but last week was my birthday and the loss was too much to bear. DH was wonderful and held me as I cried and picked me up. Usually I would go to the crem but this year I couldn't face it.
I don't know where I am going with this. There is no resolution, no happy ending. I have no parents, no children, no siblings and have lost my DNiece and DNephews. I am glad to have finally got it of my chest, this has been cathartic for me, and thank you if you have read this.

• by DS I meant DSis. But please drop the D.

New here...

How does it work?

I lost my mum 3 and a half years ago...

Many thanks

Hello pricilla sounds like. you have been through a very tough time one way and another, a lot to cope with. It's very strange, I used to think that losing someone close would make the rest of the family closer, but it doesn't seem to happen that way all the time. It's a shame that you and your sister are now apart from one another, especially now you have lost two parents. Maybe one day you will be reconciled.
I am glad you have a supportive DH to help you through, I am not surprised you are feeling low.
Do you have any supportive friends that help you ?
But anyway please done hesitate to post on here, there is always someone who will reply to you. We often just post to have a rant or if we are feeling particularly sad for one reason or another. Take care of yourself .

Welcome friedbrain although I am sorry you have been bereaved. There are no rules on this thread, we are simply here to support each other as we are all in the same boat and have lost mum / dad or sometimes both. If you want / need to chat about your mum this is the place you can do that. How are you coping with the loss of your mum, I am not so far along as you, but life for me changed the day I lost my mum unexpectedly. I will never get over it and miss her as much today as I did over 2 yrs ago now. Post whenever you feel like it as I said to pricilla, someone will always answer you.

my birthday today, miss my mum so much. I'd give anything for one day, one hour. even just to see her again