my friend is so nasty..cant believe what she just said

[buffythenappyslayer]

i had mc in march.and my friend was pg at teh time.

she said quite a few horrible things to me when i told her i had mc'd,one being it served myself right for not being sterilised,after all,what did i want more kids for!

i was so upset and didnt reply to any of her messages.she kept sending me pics of her growing bump,and still i ignored her texts.

she had her baby last month,and her dh rang to let me knwo.i am pleased for her,they have been trying for another one for years,and this baby is the result of a 2nd ivf.

i sent her a card and a prssie,and have started replying to her texts again.

but she has just sent me a message nopw,first of all she sent a pic of her baby,then she sent me a message saying "ha ha,ive got what you cant have!bet you are so jealous.im glad you had mc now you know how i felt"

the last bit referred to when i was pg with ds2 she had a mc.i never sent her pics of her belly,or nasty messages.

i am so upset,i just cant believe her.i text her back asking her why she said that and she hasnt replied yet.

should i ring her and have it out with her?i mean,whta is her problem?

Oh horrors - I really should preview!!!
I meant to say that at the time she has been a terrible friend you have been the best.
Sorry!!!!!!!!

her dh has rang this morning.i didnt talk to him,dh answered.

her dh has taken time off work and they are going to the doctors today.he said she said she was sorry for what she said to me,andshe has admitted that she doesnt feel how she thouht she would about the baby and that she isnt coping.apparently her mw had said she thought she could have pnd but friend didnt tell her dh!

she said she feels angry,not just with me,but because i have 5 children,she said she is jealous that i havent had any trouble conceiving and she had to have ivf.(me and dh have been trying for another baby for months now,and no luck)but i havent told her that.

my dh told hers that at the moment i dont feel i could be a friend to her (probably not the best choice of words for him to say) but he did say that i hope she gets the help she needs.

i do feel sorry for her,weve been friends for so long and to end our friendship this way is heartbreaking,but i know that i could never be like i was with her,not after what she has said.

thank you all for all your advice and support!

Sad as it is your friendship has come to an end, hopefully she will now get the help that she needs.

its good that at least they're talking now and they know there is a problem. its good that she is getting help for the sake of her baby, if she needs support let her come to you and you can take it from there, do what you think is right

Well look, that is about the best outcome there could have been really. She is getting the help she needs and you know that what she said was the ramblings of someone who is unhinged. I'm sure when she is sorted out she will feel mortified.

I recently had a huge argument with a vey old 'friend' of 18 years. She totally over stepped the mark and I vowed never to speak to her again. The next time I saw her I was curt yet polite and then when I was leaving she gave me a hug that was like she was hanging on for dear life and I realised then that the horrors she has in her life, and they are hideous, are much worse than mine ever could be and so I forgive her.
Put some time between you and this person but leave the door open for being friends again in the future. Life is too short to bear grudges against someone who has bad PND.
I think you have dealt very well with this btw.

Buffy you did the right thing, and luckily your dh and her dh have been able to talk, It does sound like PND/depression and she shouldn't take it out on you. But she is ill. Hopefully her dh will keep in touch and you and her will be able to get over this, as it could well be the thing that has made her get help, so in fact it could turn out to be a good thing after all IYKWIM

if she texts you again and upsets you maybe would be worth getting a new sim card for your phone so she cant do it anymore.

Agree with Carmenere....

I guess Im kinda glad for you that there is a 'reason' for it other than plain nastiness. If that makes any sense at all...

VVVQ says what I think - at least there may be a reason for such bizarre behaviour
glad she's hopefully getting some help and hope you are doing OK