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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

my friend is so nasty..cant believe what she just said

134 replies

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 14:58

i had mc in march.and my friend was pg at teh time.

she said quite a few horrible things to me when i told her i had mc'd,one being it served myself right for not being sterilised,after all,what did i want more kids for!

i was so upset and didnt reply to any of her messages.she kept sending me pics of her growing bump,and still i ignored her texts.

she had her baby last month,and her dh rang to let me knwo.i am pleased for her,they have been trying for another one for years,and this baby is the result of a 2nd ivf.

i sent her a card and a prssie,and have started replying to her texts again.

but she has just sent me a message nopw,first of all she sent a pic of her baby,then she sent me a message saying "ha ha,ive got what you cant have!bet you are so jealous.im glad you had mc now you know how i felt"

the last bit referred to when i was pg with ds2 she had a mc.i never sent her pics of her belly,or nasty messages.

i am so upset,i just cant believe her.i text her back asking her why she said that and she hasnt replied yet.

should i ring her and have it out with her?i mean,whta is her problem?

OP posts:

Report

AvaLou · 21/08/2006 15:41

This is no friend
Sorry you were hurt, but she's not worth it.
Cut her out, and try to forget her.

LadyTophamHatt · 21/08/2006 15:41

Jesus christ.....what a bitch!!

Thomcat · 21/08/2006 15:42

Really is best to ignore and step away.

Her baby may well be gorgeous but most certainly is not.
She sounds like she is mentally unstable and needs some serious professional help.
If that is the case then be there for her later on, if yu want to after this, she doesn't deserve it but..... Right now though don't atogonise or let her drag you down with her.

So sorry you've had this happen to you.

pickthebones · 21/08/2006 15:43

send this

"Yes he's beautiful, we hope you liked the small gift we sent"

and then leave it.

prettymum · 21/08/2006 15:43

there is something wrong with her!!! she is trying to get you as low as possible, let her husband speak with her and hopefully you might a reason to y she is being the way she is!!

CheesyFeet · 21/08/2006 15:46

She sounds really warped. I would just cut her off if I were you. To send you a text like that when she must know you are trying to get hold of her to talk about her behaviour is just barmy imo. Ask your dh to tell her dh to get help for her, and leave it at that.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2006 15:48

She sounds like a twat.

Sorry, but I would IMMEDIATELY cease any and ALL contact w/her.

She sounds like an horrible, evil person.

horseshoe · 21/08/2006 15:48

Im sorry...I think I would let rip.

"yes your son is beautiful, however it's a shame that the one who has given birth to him is an evil b*tch who seems to take delight in other peoples misery. Sort yourself out...get some help and look after your son who right now is probably the only person who thinks your not a complete nut job"

Not very constructive advice but cor would it feel good.

PS...I dont actually recommend that you do this....just feels good to vent!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 21/08/2006 15:50

Fucking Hell!

I'd be kind and say she suffering from puerrperal psychosis.....but someone that ill wouldnt have the energy to be so downright nasty and cruel.

What a bitter, twisted, sick bitch.

Buffy, please give up on her. You dont need an explanation from her, really. She is just sick in the head, selfish and nasty. Even if you watned to ask her why, there really is no justification that is good enough is there?

Leave her to it, she will be a lonely lonely woman, if she manages to reach old age methinks.

Angeliz · 21/08/2006 15:50

I would politely ask her to leave you alone.
Personally i wouldn't stoop to her level of hurling insults as she has just had a baby. That is in NO WAY an excuse for being a prize BITCH but i would just want her to f* off without getting into it even more with her.

Either ignore or tell her you'd rather not hear from her again!

snowleopard · 21/08/2006 15:50

Buffy - leave it - leeeeaaaavvve IT!

She's obviously got problems and it seems she can get away with treating you like this because you get embroiled and come back for more. I'm not blaming you, she sounds awful, but it sure as hell won't stop if you keep phoning her and trying to have it out. You need to drop her - not to teach her a lesson - forget what she needs - but because this is not what friends are supposed to be like and she is mistreating you despite having been given several chances.

Friends are not forever. If a man treated a woman this cruelly you'd advise her to get him out of her life, wouldn't you? Get her out of your life - firmly and forever - and spend your energies on people who are supportive and treat you well.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2006 15:50

Just rise above and walk away.

Change your number or block her if you can, block her on emails, etc. and move on.

Thomcat · 21/08/2006 15:51

I can think of a million things I'd really like to say to her, so god knows how you feel, but really, it is best if you don't pick the scab. Anything you say will be returned with evil bile from her, it really, really won't help in any way, it'll make things worse.

horseshoe · 21/08/2006 15:52

Good luck Buffy. I know it's nasty when a friend or so-called does this to you. you will do whats best.

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:52

fcking bitch ahs just rang me and had a go at me for telling dh what she said and getting him to ring her dh up!!!she screamed down the phone "how dare you tell 'name of dh' to ring 'name of her dh' up,hes just had a go at me how could you you fcking cow"!!!and she hung up!!

jsut tried to ring her back but shes just picking the phone up and putting it down!!how has she managed to turn this into it all being my fault??!!

OP posts:

SleepyJess · 21/08/2006 15:52

Buffy she's obviously ill, mentally, at the moment. Either ignore her as most people recommend, or respond to the last text by saying "Yes he is absolutely gorgeous )".

And stop crying. She obviously wants to make you cry for some warped reason but not because you deserve it but because of something going on in her own head.. She isn't well and it's a real shame for her baby as she needs to get her head sorted. At least her DH knows what's going on and will be able to tell the HV so she gets some help.

Seriously, stop letting her upset you. Yes it must be very upsetting, but you KNOW you don't deserve this.. you haven't done anything wrong at all, so stop phoning and texting and go do something nice if you can.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2006 15:53

buffy
let this GO!

block her arse NOW.

she's unstable and needs help.

but you're not a professional.

and you don't need this.

cut bait and move on.

bran · 21/08/2006 15:54

Don't phone her Buffy, don't contact her at all. She's winding you up in the hope that you will say/do something nasty and then she'll tell the whole world what you did and be the injured party. Walk away and ignore her forever.

madmarchhare · 21/08/2006 15:54

Youre winding yourself up now, leave it, she'll be loving it.

CountessDracula · 21/08/2006 15:55

Honestly I would call her dh and tell him calmly (once you have stopped crying) exactly what she has done and said and say that you are very concerned for her as she is clearly ill.

JessaJam · 21/08/2006 15:56

STEP AWAY

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:56

think i will ring her dh and read her texts to him.im not ringing her anymore

OP posts:

prettymum · 21/08/2006 15:56

leave it, she isnt worth all the trouble, her response shows her husband isnt happy with her behaviour, let him deal with her

SoupDragon · 21/08/2006 15:57

Buffy, she clearly has serious problems. It;s not your fault. Ignore her. Rise above it and let her get on with living in her little hate filled world.

If she calls again, hang up. Can you screen your calls using your answer phone? Ignore texts but keep them to show your Dh to show you're not making it up.

horseshoe · 21/08/2006 15:57

Yes while your at it ask him to tell her not to contact you anymore.

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