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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

my friend is so nasty..cant believe what she just said

134 replies

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 14:58

i had mc in march.and my friend was pg at teh time.

she said quite a few horrible things to me when i told her i had mc'd,one being it served myself right for not being sterilised,after all,what did i want more kids for!

i was so upset and didnt reply to any of her messages.she kept sending me pics of her growing bump,and still i ignored her texts.

she had her baby last month,and her dh rang to let me knwo.i am pleased for her,they have been trying for another one for years,and this baby is the result of a 2nd ivf.

i sent her a card and a prssie,and have started replying to her texts again.

but she has just sent me a message nopw,first of all she sent a pic of her baby,then she sent me a message saying "ha ha,ive got what you cant have!bet you are so jealous.im glad you had mc now you know how i felt"

the last bit referred to when i was pg with ds2 she had a mc.i never sent her pics of her belly,or nasty messages.

i am so upset,i just cant believe her.i text her back asking her why she said that and she hasnt replied yet.

should i ring her and have it out with her?i mean,whta is her problem?

OP posts:

Report

VeniVidiVickiQV · 21/08/2006 15:58

AGree with CD... actually.....

and FWIW I suspect that half her problem is that people havent fallen over themselves to congratulate her or her new arrival. Hardly surprising.......

pickthebones · 21/08/2006 16:01

phone her husband, tell him what she has done and tell him to tell her not to call you.

I expect she was longing for a baby to fill some huge hole she had in her life and it hasn't. she is jealous of you and wants to make you miserable.

can not understand how somebody who has just had a baby can be so full of hate.

CheesyFeet · 21/08/2006 16:01

Definitely time to walk away Buffy. The more contact you try to initiate the more she will upset you. Her dh knows what she's doing, leave her for him to sort out.

schneebly · 21/08/2006 16:02

What a nasty bitch! Do not waste any effort on calling her or trying to talk to her buffy. You are better than she is. She sounds like a very embittered, twisted person and you should stay clear! Hope you are ok.

AvaLou · 21/08/2006 16:03

Indeed
To reiterate what I and others have said
She is not a friend
She is not worth it.
Cut her out and then be thankful you've cut a toxic part of your life off.

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 16:15

feel abit better now,just rang her dh.

read the texts to him and he couldnt apologise enough.he said she has been really funny with him since she had the baby.ive told him to tell her how upset i am and that i dont want her texting me again or ringing me,she can consider our friendship well and truly over.i said to him that i have always been there for her when she has had probs,and i ahve always done everything i can to help her (my dh went all the way to hull and picked her up one time when she was crying that she was leaving her dh) and i said to her dh if this is how she is going to treat me then she can think again.

he said he'd tell her and sid sorry again.

i feel so much better now.she had text me after i had switched my phone off,teh message came through when i was reading the others out to her dh.

the last message said "go f*ck yourself"

nice eh?

OP posts:

Thomcat · 21/08/2006 16:16

I don't mean to be funny Buffy but everyone is screaming at ypu to step away and not have any contact with her. I feel sorry for you but if you're going to keep ignoring everyones sensible advice then you only have yourself to blame if she produces more vile abuse which will upset you more.
If anything deal with her DH, or let your DH deal with her DH.
Really, truly and this is the last time I say it, step AWAY.

She hasn't turned this into 'it's all your fault' problem. She's unstable and totally in the wrong and everyone can see that. So stop winding yourself, and her, up and listen to everyone in your life and on her and leave it alone, you'll make it worse, for everyone, if you don't.

JunkInMyTrunk · 21/08/2006 16:16

evil...woman needs professional help

Thomcat · 21/08/2006 16:18

She's ill.

Know her poor DH knows everything really, really leave it. Leave him alone and don't tell him anymoe either now.
Just go and have a cup of tea and cuddle your kids and make sure you unwind fully tonight with wine and a bath.

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 16:20

thomcat i ahve.i just told her dh that i dont wnat anything to do with her again.when i turned my phone on to read him the messages she had text me again,she rang me and had a go after i had told my dh and he had rang ehr dh.
i did try to ring her back but gave up.
i am listening to everyone,and i have stepped away,i mean it,ive even deleted her mobile number form my phone

OP posts:

mummyhill · 21/08/2006 16:21

Step away from the phone. Cut this toxic person out of your life.

This woman needs professional help hopefully the hv will pick up on it.

MrsCapedCrusader · 21/08/2006 16:21

I hope she joins mumsnet

CheesyFeet · 21/08/2006 16:22

Can you get her number blocked on your mobile? I think this is the only way you're going to get any peace otherwise every time the message alert goes off you'll be jumping ten feet in the air thinking it might be her. Her dh knows the full story now, you've done all you can and more than you needed to.

It must be very hard to walk away from a friendship that has lasted years, but you really must, for the sake of your own sanity.

MrsJohnCusack · 21/08/2006 16:24

Good, I am glad you are stepping away
I feel very sorry for her DH and indeed her new baby, but she is their problem. Look after yourself!

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 16:24

i dont knwo if i can block her number on my mobile.ive got caller display on normal phone so if i see her number i'll just ignore it (i will honestly!!)

OP posts:

Piffle · 21/08/2006 16:25

I cannot believe someone who struggled to conceive could say that.
She has some pyschological issues I would presume as a lay person from what you've told me
Slightly unhinged, I do hope she is coping with a newborn alright IYKWIM

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 16:27

i dont know how shes coping with the baby.but from the way she is being,i dont think shes coping at all well.her dh said shes been funny with him since the birth.

OP posts:

doobydoo · 21/08/2006 16:28

What a complete mad woman.You would think she'd be so happy with her baby that she has apparently wanted for so long .You are better off without her.I feel sorry for her dh as well as you.Your dh sounds lovely.

MrsJohnCusack · 21/08/2006 16:28

well you have made him aware of how she's behaving
It's up to him to make sure she gets some help
But for your own sanity, keep away from the toxic hag!

doobydoo · 21/08/2006 16:29

Maybe she has pnd.Though she sounds like she was unbalanced before this.Maybe the birth has tipped her over the edge.

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 16:31

i dont knwo.she has always been abit barmy.

im not going to let it bother me any longer,im going to go and cook my lovely kids some tea (no doubt the lovelyness wont lats long and tehy'll be back to argueing soon!!)

thank you everyone for your advice and support!

OP posts:

Fimbo · 21/08/2006 16:32

I feel sorry for her dh.

hotmama · 21/08/2006 16:35

I think her dh should speak to a midwife/hv - because she sounds like she is going to need some professional help.

Some of us may go a bit loopy after giving birth - but this is extreme!

You don't need this woman in your life - but she does/will need some help.

Or perhaps I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and there is nothing wrong with her just an awful cow!

FN · 21/08/2006 16:35

I am totally at this gob smacked...you are best out of the relationship you do not need her hurtful comments etc. She is very twisted and not making excuses but probably serious case of PND on top of her "normal" outbursts. Not right and you life will be more positive without her.

So sorry for your loss and I hope you are coping with this despite her inexcusable (sp?) behaviour.

take care

bnm · 21/08/2006 16:39

Like everyone has said, drop her. She's not normal. Pity the dh and baby!

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