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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

my friend is so nasty..cant believe what she just said

134 replies

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 14:58

i had mc in march.and my friend was pg at teh time.

she said quite a few horrible things to me when i told her i had mc'd,one being it served myself right for not being sterilised,after all,what did i want more kids for!

i was so upset and didnt reply to any of her messages.she kept sending me pics of her growing bump,and still i ignored her texts.

she had her baby last month,and her dh rang to let me knwo.i am pleased for her,they have been trying for another one for years,and this baby is the result of a 2nd ivf.

i sent her a card and a prssie,and have started replying to her texts again.

but she has just sent me a message nopw,first of all she sent a pic of her baby,then she sent me a message saying "ha ha,ive got what you cant have!bet you are so jealous.im glad you had mc now you know how i felt"

the last bit referred to when i was pg with ds2 she had a mc.i never sent her pics of her belly,or nasty messages.

i am so upset,i just cant believe her.i text her back asking her why she said that and she hasnt replied yet.

should i ring her and have it out with her?i mean,whta is her problem?

OP posts:

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buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:18

shes always been bitchy,but usually about other people,and never with me.

dh told her dh what she had put,and her dh apologised and said he would ring her straight away and find out why she said it

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waterfalls · 21/08/2006 15:19

Still no exuse tissy, nothing worse than someone lowering themselves to someones elses standards, my dh does it all the time, its pathetic.

bran · 21/08/2006 15:20

Has she always been a bitch Buffy? If this is a relatively new thing then it sounds as though she may have some mental health issues. Do you think it could be something that has been stewing away since she found she had fertility problems?

Either way I don't think staying in contact would be good for you or for her. If she's a bitch you need to keep away to protect yourself, if she's ill and her delusions are focussed against you then there isn't that much you can do to help her.

I'm so sorry for you, it must be terrible to lose a friend this way.

bran · 21/08/2006 15:20

Sorry, crossed post.

Fimbo · 21/08/2006 15:21

I had a "friend" like that. The friendship didn't last long, unfortunately my ds will be in her ds's class at school, but I will just nod and say hello. If the boys become friendly that is fine but I refuse to be overly friendly with the mother ever again.

Blandmum · 21/08/2006 15:22

hells bells, a normal wouldn't send a message like that to a stranger let alone someone supposed to be a friend.

Walk away, some people are not worth the grief.

madmarchhare · 21/08/2006 15:23

Tbh I wouldnt bother with all the phonecalls and finding out, I would just leave it. She obviously doesnt see you as a friend.

pickthebones · 21/08/2006 15:23

that's awful. can not imagine anyone being so spiteful

tissy · 21/08/2006 15:23

wasn't making excuses, waterfalls, just trying to understand.

If she was having infertility treatment, then had a m/c, she probably was devastated by that- she may have misheard/ misinterpreted something that btns said at the time, and stewed on it for a while till buffy had her m/c and she had her bay....

FWIW,I would not make any attempt to contact her at all at this point.

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:25

when she was having ivf,she caused arguements with her dh,and kept telling him to leave.i dont knwo why becasue he is a lovely man and is great with their little girl.

before they had ivf,every month before her af was due she would go loopy!and i mean completely stark raving bonkers!she would accuse her dh of having an affair,throw his clothes out,accuse him of not loving her,and she turned many of her friends against her.she told one taht was pg that she didnt want to be friends with her as seeing her was like she was shoving her pregnancy in her face!

just tried again to ring her but still getting callminder

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Angeliz · 21/08/2006 15:26

What a Bitch.

Best off leave her to it, she sounds very bitter and twisted, not a nice place to be.

Edmond · 21/08/2006 15:26

what a horrible cow

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:27

she had her mc 7 years ago,i was pg with my ds2 who is 7 in december.

she had ivf for the first time last year and the 2nd time was successful

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WigWamBam · 21/08/2006 15:27

Don't ring her, Buffy. She's not worth wasting the cost of a phone call on, and it would only make things worse

A friend wouldn't be treating you like this; you're worth so much more and you're better off without this poison in your life.

waterfalls · 21/08/2006 15:29

tissy

Sorry I meant if you were right, then it is no exuse for her, was'nt getting at you at all......sorry

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:30

thanks everyone,its nice to know ive got some support on here!

cant stop crying and ds1 (14) just came in and gave me a hug!hes spreading the word between my lot now that im upset and they all have to behave!

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bran · 21/08/2006 15:30

Sounds like the ivf drugs made her a bit crazy, if she gets bad pms then she was probably very sensitive to hormone changes. I used to pick arguments with my dh when I was having ivf and that's something I very rarely do.

She still sounds like someone who makes a terrible friend though, if she's always been a bitch about other people then she will probably always be a bitch.

Thomcat · 21/08/2006 15:32

Make sure you keep the text she sent so if 'her' DH tries to defend her you can show it to him.

She's not your friend. If she can act this way sounds like she may never trulky have been your friend.
In time you'll come to be glad you saw her for what she truly is, pure evil, and be glad that you no longer have her in your life.

I feel sick to my stomach for you. Just be strong and seriously be glad that she's out of your life. She's poison.

and

lizziemun · 21/08/2006 15:34

i know how you feel , i had a minor falling out with SIL a month or so about nothing really but her finaly words to me was a comment a coping with 2 children, knowing that i had a miscariage 3 weeks before and that we had being ttc for 18months, my dh now is refusing to have anything to do with his family, although his mum said she doesn't get involved in children arguments, she has only phoned to stir.

I have to say not argueing or speaking with SIL seems to have more effect.

So i would let her get on with her life, and enjoy you life with your good freinds, and when she contacts because she wants something just ignore, life to short to waste time on selfish people.

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:36

she just text me again,i think she has got serious probs,she sent me another pic of the baby saying dont you think hes gorgeous?!

im not replying.i'll wait and see if her dh rings or texts

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buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:37

ive turned my phone off

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Fimbo · 21/08/2006 15:38

She certainly sounds as if she needs help.

CountessDracula · 21/08/2006 15:39

My god I would never speak to her again

She sounds insane, do you think the child is safe with her?

horseshoe · 21/08/2006 15:39

What an evil thing to say!!!! Maybe she was jelous that you were pg when she felt it was her time.....maybe shes pissed that you haven't been in contact recently.....Maybe she is just seriously warped...

Whatever her reasons for being like this...maybe it's time you cut your ties. She obviously has some sort of problem. No friend would rub a m/c in someones face...thats just evil.

If I were you...which im not.... I would simply text back "hadn't you concentrate on being a mum instead of sending such vile texts...goodbye"

Seems like she set out to upset you. Who would innocently send a text like that?

buffythenappyslayer · 21/08/2006 15:41

i dont know what to do,should i text her back,or ring her or should i just leave it?its really eating away at me!

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