i haven't spoken to you before YG, but i am so terribly sad to hear this news. it has got me in tears here and has made me get up to check my son to check he is alright.
i know it isn't the same but my 21 year old brother died when i was 13 of SADS (like SIDS but for adults.) i couldn't cry for a week. my sister cried constantly and was out of school on and off for months. i insisted that 12 hours after we had found out i went to school as normal. it wasn't til friday evening when i realised during the weekend i couldn't go to school to take my mind off it and i bursti nto tears. i think my mum and dad were relieved i had finally cried. basically what i am saying is don't force the girls back into a routine if they aren't ready, but if they are then let them be. i was much happier getting on as i preferred to sort of pretend it hadn't happened. i didn't necessarily bottle up my feelings, i just kept them to myself mostly but would talk to my dad if i needed to. if they don't want to talk don't force them - it helps some people it doesn't help others. its the same with crying.
the worst part for us was that we never got an answer to why he died. he had numerous post mortems all to no avail - it was like telling us he had just died and that was that so get on with it. it is also much worse i think when it is a shock like this - least you can prepare people if they have an illness but obviously no one wants their family or friends to die.
also it will never stop hurting - don't let anyone tell you it will, but in time you sort of learn to live with it. you will still feel sad when you are reminded of him but you will also feel happy at the same time if you know what i mean rather than feeling as if you will never stop crying and you will never be happy again.
my thoughts go out to you all. i don't know if there are any organisations like this for what your husband died of, but we are all part of an organisation of people whos family have died from sids and they have events that we all go to every so often. it really does help toalking to people who have been through the same thing as you as no one can ever know what you are going through unless they have been through it themself.
don't be too proud to accept help either from people. if people want to cook and clean for you let them .. its the last thing you want to be doing but you need to keep your strength up. you might not be able to eat .. my mum couldn't. just try to eat little bits when you can - your girls need you. also don't be afraid to cry in front of them, my mum used to cry on her own in her room and i hated the tohught of her feeling that alone so i'd go and cuddle her but she must have thought it was better we didn't see it.
also i don't know if you are religious or not so i don't want to offend but if you are not and you find the vicars etc all a bit much in telling you your husband was special cos he was chosen by god so early and he's in a better place and all that, well i don't really know how you can stop them but try not to get too worked up by it - they mean well.
i'm sorry for rambling .. but i hope i've helped just a tiny amount.
my thoughts go out to you all x