Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

[mummylin2495]

Here we are , our new home

Oh and congratulations on your pregnancy. A last gift from your dad maybe ? Is it your first

Congratulations LittlePink, what lovely news!!

Good luck for Saturday, I was feeling exactly the same about my dad's burial but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Hope it goes well xx

Thanks. I feel as though it is a last gift from my dad with the timing of it all. Its my second baby. Ive got a 2 yr old little girl. Her caring side has really come out since all of this and when shes seen me crying she says "its alright, cuddle" and puts her arms around me.

The vicar who did the funeral is doing a little service then we'll scatter the with her. Im still worried about it all but perhaps it wont be as bad as I think it will be.

congratulations little pink, good luck for the weekend too, I think it is always worse in our head as when we are there we are so focused on staying on two feet and getting through its only after that the gravity of the situation has its effect.

Friday the 16th may will be eighteen months since I saw my mums face or held her hand :( how does time go so quickly yet so slowly at the same time. I think I will buy some wine,light my candle and have some time without children/dogs/diets and everything else that's going on!

SM where has all that time gone, any progress between your SD and nan and grandad, any solution found ? It is horrid to think of the last time we have seen someone we loved.in my case we had no idea it would be the
last time as she was expected to only be in hosp 4 or 5 days. Thank god I kissed her goodbye that last evening. And we are not normally a kissing family !

not as far as I know havent seen or spoken to him :( not sure if it's over the flowers or he's finding things difficult but no answer to my texts. it's weird isn't it to think of the small things we do that will make such a difference to us after.

Oh dear, I hope it isn't going to cause an unrepairable rift. Family things can be so tough can't they and even little things are so hard to put right.

Hello, I have already started a thread but I now need to join here properly as it becomes more real.

My dad died on Saturday, it was extremely sudden. He was only 69.

We also lost mum 16 years ago, when I was 16. It feels so unfair both my parents have gone and I am heartbroken.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad just over two weeks ago, he was 66. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have also lost your mum.

I have always said I don't feel my age (32) but since dad became ill I definitely feel it! Everything changes and feels so strange, I still don't reAlly believe he has gone.

I'm still new to the grieving process so probably not much help to you but there are lots of lovely people on this thread that I'm sure will offer great advice and comforting words.

Xxx

Hellomytwo I am very sorry for your loss and that you have had to join this thread.
I am sure you must be in absolute shock at the moment and it's hard to take in, it almost feels unreal. You wonder how everyone else in the world is just doing normal things when you are feeling so much pain.
I know how great the shock is when it's so unexpected and sudden. It is awful. And there are many of us on this thread who had the awful shock too.
There is usually always someone who pops on here so you will always get a reply when you post. I hope as the weeks go by we can help you through it all.
Here's hoping that you have RL support too, this will help. Do you have siblings to support you?
We have mostly all lost a parent on here to different causes so there will be someone for you to relate to.. Don't hesitate to post even when you just want to rant about something, we all do it at one time or another. Thinking of you.

Hello mytwo, I too am very sorry for your loss. Its so utterly painful to lose a parent so I know what you must be going through. My dad died 5 weeks ago and the grieving process is a funny thing. Every day is different. I am still in shock and it just doesn't feel real. Im glad you found the thread as its a lovely supportive place to come when you just want to have a chat or put down how you're feeling. Thinking of you x x

Hi littlepink hope you are ok and not suffering sickness ! It will be nice to have a baby on this thread, it shows how despite all the sadness there is new life coming and that should give us all hope for the future.

Hi Everyone
Not been on here for a while but am still trying to come to terms with my mum being gone. Its 8 weeks today :( Saw a counselor on Monday but not sure whether it helped much. Am still trying to push everything to the back of my head at the moment and not think about it as it is easier to cope with.
I hope everyone is OK and sorry to the new thread people who have suffered a loss recently.
Can I just ask some advice if that is OK because I don't know if I can cope with everything that is going on at home at the moment.
DS (12) has been having trouble sleeping for the last 3 months before my mum passed. Firstly it was not wanting to be awake if everyone else is asleep and now it is he cannot sleep. Last night he was up til pushing 2am. I had been up the previous day since 5am so I was shattered. He was crying, I was crying and on top of this and losing my mum only 8 weeks ago I just don't know how much more I can take.
I have tried the GP, warm baths, music, reading etc and nothing is working for him. There were issues at school but they seem a bit better. I am at the end of my tether. Anyone got any advice please.

Hello blonde by what you have posted it seems that all your ds,s problems are tied up with your mum. Does he have a fear that someone else will die ? Poor child, it's so hard for us to understand death, yet alone a child. I would think he needs to see someone so that he can talk it through with them and hopefully have anything he fears explained to him. I'm not sure where you can go to get the help he needs, but I'm sure someone else on the thread will have some ideas. I agree that counselling for some is not helpful but for others it seems to help enormously. It's also hard for your ds to see his mum so upset.maybe he feels he should be helping but dosent know how to make things better for you. I don't know, it was just an idle thought. Stick around and one of the others may be able to offer more sensible help !

Hi Blondie mum - I don't really know too much, could you phone Winstons wish and maybe talk to them, they deal and specialise with children put into situations of losing people. I hope you can get it sorted it must be so hard for you with grief and no sleep. Is there any where where you will be able to have a weekend away for a break at a friends or something?
all the best keep us posted! thinking of you xx

Hi Mummylin, ssd, biscuits, and everyone, i constantly think of you all and hope your all going along ok and are able to have some ok times.

I have done my induction this week as admin in the NHS and its great, but we have life support training today and we had to watch a hard hitting video of saving some ones life, i got teary it was so graphical i couldn't watch and left the room.

I was with a lovely team on our table though they were lovely.
I spoke to the lady from the training and i was asking her all about my mum and she said that there was nothing we could have done the bleed to her brain would have been fair too bad for them to be able to save her. God it was a tough conversation but it helped to talk to her.

How are we all going along?

Thinking of you all xx

What a weird evening!!! Its still quite warm here....my DH, DS4 and myself are all sat in different rooms, all of us watching telly!!! There is a very calm feeling in the house and the same feeling in my heart - if that makes any sense at all. The feeling is so calm that I feel un-nerved by it. I cannot describe it any other way.

I really think I could be losing my marbles - if anybody finds them please keep them safe for me xx

Hi T lovely to see you. Glad job going ok. Gosh that must of been tough to see that video. I hope talking to the other ladies that they have been able to alleviate some of your worries . Maybe this job will help you to now move on , although of course you won't forget and still have days of sadness. But with something else to occupy your mind it may help you a lot. When will your training end ? Are you doing a lot of hours ?

Rolls back shabs marbles ! Dh and I usually are in different rooms too shabs. It suits me fine cause I can watch what I want without being bombarded with sport all the time !! I expect you are still unsettled from losing your dad, after all it's still not long ago. Make the most of the calm that you are feeling this evening. Maybe it's to recharge your batteries. How are things with your mum ?

badvoc are things going ok for you ?
Thinking of you all tonight.SM biscuits ssd waterlego pink
natalie in my thoughts and hoping you are all doing ok and to anyone I haven't mentioned, you are not forgotten , I can't think offhand of all the names! wishing everyone peace of mind in the coming weeks

Well the tour de france is coming up soon so we will definitely be watching tv in different rooms! I find it so boring but DH loves it and looks forwards to it every year. Oh and the world cup. Will watch England but not too interested in the rest of it. DH on the other hand.....

Morning sickness has kicked in the last few days so not been feeling too great. I got it pretty bad with DD so im scared for the next few months!

Im just sitting looking at a lovely picture of my Dad taken in his garden by the rose bushes. He looks so poorly but has the most lovely smile. Sometimes I don't know how to remember him, like he was just before he died or when he was healthy. Sometimes I struggle to remember what he looked like when he was healthy, then I get a clear picture in my mind of a happy, smiling face. Its so comforting because I know where hes gone and how peaceful he will be now. Its still hard that I cant hear his voice and talk to him properly but I say to him every morning "hiya dad, how are you feeling?" and I hear him say to me "oh not so bad" as he used to say. I miss him so much.

Hope you are all having a good week. Thinking of you all x x

Pink, I feel just the same and because dad wasn't really himself from when he went into hospital until he died it feels like I haven't spoken to my 'real' dad in months. I really miss him today. I have suffered from anxiety for years and he was always so good at talking to me about it. Since the funeral, my anxiety has been in overdrive - always focused on my family's health. I'm so scared of losing anyone else. I seemed to have cried more today than I have since the day he died. I just feel like I'm losing the plot.

hi blondebird, with relation to your ds, I have 2 ds's, 13 and 15, and the 13 yr old has trouble getting off to sleep he has been like that for a while , but I remember the older one being the exact same at that age...not saying your mum passing isnt a huge part of it, but IME boys this age find getting to sleep difficult. I'm sorry, I know its hard dealing with this all together

HI to all of us here and also to the newer posters xxx

Hi Lin waving Thanks about the job yeah the video was really hard, in some respects they really should give prior warning before hand. Yeah talking to the ambulance lady she was lovely. I am really at that tbh I have days/times of sadness but i like to talk to her like she is around me still and involve her in quite a bit of my week I cant think of her not around or gone so i keep her very close.

Training finished yesterday, im doing a few days a week! Feel i belong somewhere

How have you been there?
Shabs - I get this often this feeling normally when im having a tough time I feel this is my mum around for me. Thinking of you.

Little pink - so hard isn't it, i do the same with my mum, i say how you doing lovely lady, gorgeous day out there, while i look out the window sometimes i get a random bird fly in and think ahh have you heard me!!
hope your morning sickness gets better soon!!

Natalie - I really know how you are feeling, this what i was like at the beginning very hard and my anxiety was through the roof. If you feel like you need to speak to the dr or i took back flower remedy which i sprayed on my tongue, or vitamin b6 these are all practical things to help, i know it cant help the pain we feel. Thinking of you

badvoc sm, water, mouse, crazy, ssd biscuits and everyone else on the thread thinking of you all check in with us when you can xx

Hi all.
Am on phone so can't read messages.
I do hope everyone is ok?
Am still here and still hanging on (by a thread!)
Ds2 has an appt for an ent referral and also an appt with a counselling centre in July.
Mum driving me mad
Feeling very stressed with it all tbh
Saw a fathers darkly card display earlier today...oooof

Glad your ok badvoc was beginning to get worried about you. I'm sure seeing the cards must of given you a jolt . Hope your ds will be ok.