Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

[mummylin2495]

Here we are , our new home

thinking of you and your dc lin x

Thinking of you and the dc and your ex! Xx

Will b back tomorrow hope your all going along not too bad xx

Hope he gets better lin must be a worry. X

Things much the same for my ex. I myself now have another chest infection, been up alf the loopy night cough cough cough. Have steroids and anti b,s again
Hope you are all ok, catch up with you all later.

hope you feel better soon lin!

Hope you feel better soon lin. Look after you and make sure every one else does xx

Hi to everyone else thinking of you all and hope you are all going along best you can xx

hope you feel better soon mummylin xx

hi to you too t875 , hope the jobs ok!

Things are difficult at the moment regarding my ex dh. Not because of his illness but his wife. My kids and ex,s sister are flying back tomorrow. Ex was a bit better yesterday but not out of the woods yet.

Blimey Lin you must be drained. How are you feeling,? Hope your feeling better xx

Hello ssd jobs good hope you are ok Hun. Catch up over the weekend xx

Love and hugs to all. Hope your all going along not too bad thinking if you all xx

Dad's funeral is Tuesday. I'm dreading it and can't imagine how we are going to get through it. I feel sick every time I think about it. We are also due to go and see him in the chapel of rest before then, I found it so hard seeing his body on the morning he died that I don't know if I can go through it again.

natalie Yes Tuesday will be distressing for you, but I can tell you in all honesty that the actual thought is almost worse than the event. I think it's because you are surrounded by others, friends and family and this does help. Plus I think we are probably in a bit of a fog when it's happening and don't take it all in properly, then before you know it, it is over. You will be ok I promise .
Chapel of rest only you can decide that. But I went to see my mum for the last time about an hour and a half before the funeral. It's just something I had to do, but my way may not suit others.
Anticipation is sometimes worse than the actual event and makes you feel so fearful. Will be thinking of you on Tues.
hopefully someone else will come along and give you their views too.

Thanks Lin, it really helps to hear that. I just wish it was over but then feel guilty for thinking that as it's dad's day.

Hope things are ok with your children and your ex too.

Xx

They are on the way home, ex,s wife has made it intolerable for all three of them to stay. His sister went too. Have had my dd in tears on the phone, it has been awful, and that's without the worry of their dad. Things are improving for him although still very ill. But now there is hope at least. Been a very difficult week.
Yes you honestly will cope. It is surprising where the strength comes from on the day, and if you think about it logically , the worst possible thing has already happened. Hold tight to someone else's hand at the service, you will get strengths from that too.

Hope your dd is home and feeling a bit better mummylin, what an ordeal they have gone through.

Natalie, I hope Tuesday goes as well as it can, sometimes you find an inner strength that carries you along on a day you hoped would never come x

They are home ssd as dd walked through airport exit she saw me and bursts into tears. They and ex,s sister have been treated appallingly and I am livid, but I intend to speak to her about it in the future ! Not at the moment because its not appropriate.
On a better note x dh has slightly improved, now no need for a ventilator and where there was zero hope last weekend , now there is some so that's the most important thing for now. Fingers crossed his recovery can continue.

I am going to paste what I wrote last night on the other thread I am on. The person I am speaking about is my ex,s American wife. She has been a bitch , here are some examples, and take it in mind , they were told their dad was on deaths door and it was on doctors advice they flew over to be with him.

Well not been home very long and I am even more angry now. My dd just burst into tears as soon as she saw me at the airport , she really sobbed, I felt so upset for her. Here are a few examples of what's been said to them this week.

1. I'm not running a fucking nursing home This was said about ex,s sister when wife found out she was flying to see her brother to my ds when he phoned her the day they flew.
2. I have decided only one visitor at a time This was said to my kids. Despite docs being fine with them both there
3. today my ds told her he would come back when his dad was out of hospital Wife said " there is no need "
4. no its not necessary When American friends offered to move out whie family was there
5. we are used to the four of us on our own Told to my kids by one of the American friends Loads of things similar to this She has not made them one, not even one cup of tea all week despite making friends coffee. Nor one single meal of any sort, not even a snack She gets up at 5am and goes to the hospital to make sure she dosent miss the head doctor, she will not speak to any of the registrars She talks to ex as though he is 2 yrs old, and it made my kids and his sister feel very uncomfortable, in fact my sis in law asked her friend why she did that She and her two friends sat and whispered and made it obvious they were talking about my kids and ex,s sister. My kids were not allowed any time alone with their dad at all, she constantly stayed there despite being there early in the morning Kids have been told that American friend is going to vet all the calls to the house, so the kids will ring hospital direct or his mobile phone ! There is just so much that has happened , my dd and sis in law have been in tears at times, my ds who is quite placid apart from when discussing politics is aso very angry at how she has treated them all. It just sows that all the times they have been over here she has pretended she is happy to see all the family, when in fact she dislikes all of us ! Anyway when we got home ex dh rang from his hospital bed , and we had little chat, bet that pissed her off ! He has not had such a good day today but still a lot better than he was, he is expecting to be where he is for one more week, then go to rehab place to recuperate for a few weeks. I will prob add bits as I remember them all !!!

Hello, needed to post someplace, don't know if anyone here posted on my thread in chat and remembers me. My mum died on Friday the 24th April suddenly at the age of 49. We had the post mortem and have finally got the funeral sorted, it will be on the 16th. Feeling very sad today, it's my birthday on Wednesday and we were supposed to be going out for lunch. We weren't as close as we were when I was younger but she had issues which she was getting help for. So things were getting better. It's not fair.

gemdrop, it isn't fair. that's really young for your mum to pass. I'm so sorry, I know you must be hurting so much. Its a really awful time. Keep posting here and you'll get plenty support xx

mummylin, wow, she's a piece of work isn't she! what a horror! I hope you wipe the floor with her when the time comes. No wonder your dd was so upset, she must be raging and worried about her dad. what a nightmare! Very frustrating for you too!

So sorry gemdrop we will support you as much as we can. How terribly sad for you to lose such a young mum.
I am sure Wednesday will be difficult for you in the circumstance, the firsts of anything are the worst.
Would you like to talk about your mum ?
D you have siblings and other family to help and support you.

ssd she has shown her true colours. My poor ex sis in law is 79 yrs old , has had two hips done and walks with a stick. She was made to sleep,on a settee, while ex,s wife's American friends had the spare bedroom !! They apparently offered to move out whilst my family were there , but ex,s wife said it wasn't necessary . It has been a nightmare for them and they are all very hurt and upset. It seems she is very controlling and jealous. For gods sake they have been married over 20 years. But the fact remains that his children were there before her and he is not her exclusive property. Especially in the circumstances, you would of thought she would of welcomed having them around to share the visiting load. Nope, not so they did not even have 5 mins on their own with their dad . Se has been a total bitch, but I will have my day and she will get it with both barrels for hurting my family.( fat American bitch ) . My language has been appalling this week . Sorry !

dont blame you in the least, I'd be the same in your circumstances!!

better to be a sweary mary here than let rip at you dh!

xx

Oh I have done that too ssd ! But my dh is in complete agreement with me and also thinks she has been a bitch!

Good grief lin she sounds awful. Yeah I'd say something for sure. My god shes treated your family terrible. You can only hope what goes around is the saying! F me I could certainly do with some one having a bout of Kama that's for sure!!

Ssd biscuits, xx hi to you guys

badvoc, Lego, sm, mouse, anyone else I've missed wishing you all support and love where ever you may be in your emotions. X

Gem will be thinking of you Wednesday. Very hard sending you big hugs xx

Start my job permanently tomorrow. 3 years I've been temping. I've had so many conversations with my mum about my contracts and I finally get a position where there is a gap mad stevisnt here to hear all about it. [ sad] gutted isn't the word. Oh well trudge on I guess. I'm sure she knows. Just not the same some days xx

And she isn't here to see it meant to write silly I phone!!