Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

[mummylin2495]

Here we are , our new home

Not accept it not right wording. I don't accept her loss. But over time the gaps of that distraught feeling have got a little wider! But can still hit at times xx

t875 is right. I go over and over it in my head, I know I have to accept my parents have gone, but I can't accept it, the world just isnt right without either my mum or dad here, its just all out of kilter and I dont think it'll ever settle down again...or maybe it will settle, but at an angle I dont like.

hugs to you littlepink, and to all of us here xxx

Everybody in their own little worlds in my house. Got my 5 year old grandson here and my 16 year old DS4. Neither back at school/college till next Monday. Grandson and son falling out over ridiculous stuff and me
feeling taken for granted as usual. Nobody in the family willing to go and see my Mum in the nursing home....everybody is apparantly VERY busy....even at weekends. So as soon as grandson has gone home I will be heading up to see Mum. Dont think my 16 year old has washed his hair for a week - or had a shower - he normally likes looking nice. Asked him what was wrong and he growled back 'my lovely Grandad dying while prats still walk the earth so I suppose thats me told then!!!!

Do take care of yourself shabbs you can't do it all. I have to say I agree with your son. Life does seem unfair at times. You would think that losing a loved one would bring everyone together, but sadly it sometimes seems to have the opposite effect.makes you want to hideaway sometimes.
ssd it is such a struggle for you isn't it, I wish things were different for you, but we will be here. I know it's not the same but hopefully we bring you some sort of comfort.
Thinking of everyone who is grieving

thanks mummylin, I know I'm one of many struggling on here, theres just nothing else for it, is there...its a great comfort knowing this thread is always there, as you said grief should bring people together, but sadly it doesn't, although it sure shows who cares about you and who you can lose in your life and not miss....

shabbs, you've been through so much, my heart goes out to you

Thank you - its been an 'interesting' life....DS4 has showered, done his hair and got changed - his two best friends (both girls) have said they are all meeting up tonight (must remember to thank them both for supporting my lad) xx

thinking of you today shabbs

Thinking of all of you walking this awful road. Hope you are all having some bright spots in your days x

hi all how are you?

Today hasn't been as bad as the last couple of days but im finding every day is different. Ive been going through a bit of anger the last day or so looking for someone to blame and thinking the hospital didn't do enough to help my dad and could we have done anything different to prolong things but really that wouldn't have been fair as he was suffering a lot and we didn't want that. Today ive just been thinking this so haven't felt as bad as when I was blaming people for the last couple of days. We are going to be scattering his ashes soon. Really not looking forwards to that at all.

Hows everyone else?

Hi SM hope things are ok with you.
pink I think we all go through the " wanting to blame " thing. I still do it now. Go over and over it and all the what if they had done this, or that. All it actually does is torment us further as we can't change anything now. It's all heartbreaking and changes lives for ever. I don't very often have tearful days anymore, but I think about the whole situation every single day, over and over it in my mind.

Hello, Iv never posted on this thread before but I'm feeling sad tonight. Next week it's 25 years since my mum died. I was 4. :( I just want to scream that I miss my mummy.

I still struggle with the blame on the hospitals part. I try not to but I can't help it. ML I'm okay yeah, ds testing me this few days. saw mums husband in supermarket this week when I was with my dad and I'm pretty sure he swerved to avoid me :( maybe it's the whole thing with the flowers I don't know. hi sleeping, welcome to the thread that is very sad time goes so fast doesn't it we would be happy to hear all about her. whatever you know

I don't really remember her. I only know what she looks like from pictures. I don't normally think about it too much because well, it's life and I can't change it. But tonight I just want a hug.

I look at my own DDs (5/2) and I just know how much they still need me, but equally it makes me want to cry that DD2 wouldn't remember me if I died tomorrow and DD1s memories would fade as mine have.

Sorry, it's all very self indulgent

don't be daft that what we here for isn't it, it must be very strange to have this profound loss but not remember her. I agree with what you are saying though sometimes you feel as though you shouldnt dwell as can't change it but then you can't help thinking can you. I think that is understandable. we are always here to have a chat too

Oh SM I do hope there isn't going to be a rift between you and SF. That would be such a shame. Surely he and your grandparents can compromise somehow. How sad that this has happened. Maybe he just didnt see you ( hoping)
sleeping it will be 25 yrs in November that my sister died, her little girl was 2 and like you has no memory at all, she only knows what we have all told her over the years. Luckily we have lots of photos and I hope this is the case for you too. Yes it's a worry for all of us I think when our children are young, we all want to be here for them, but for some sadly it's not the case. Do you think because it's a significant year it is more on your mind ?
One more year and my sister will have been dead the same amount of years that she lived. I can hardly believe all that time has gone.

I hope so Linn but i saw him pretty clearly and he was looking right ahead so I think he either just didn't feel up to talking or he is not happy over the situation, not much I can do. my grandad (mums dads) birthday today, went down with presents and cake his other children havent even bothered get him a card

Dosent it make you mad when others don't make the effort ! Made me cross when couple of my siblings didnt bother with flowers for mums birthday. I can't understand it . But so far I have it my tongue and believe me that is very unlike me. I'm sure one day I'm going to explode with rage. Your poor grandad, I hope he wasnt too upset.

he never said much about it just carried on his day, annoys me so much it's not hard to send a card through or pick up a phone. sad isn't it that they don't think x it is hard as we would give anything to send our parents a card.

Morning girls xx

Has anybody else experienced this? When my Dad was in hospital I had the weirdest experience. I was so tired all the time. Every time I tried to go to sleep I experienced what I can only describe as a mans voice shouting.....it was like listening to a Greek or Spanish person having a heated argument. I didn't know what language it was but I knew they were not happy. As soon as I opened my eyes again it stopped. It still keeps happening. Have I finally 'lost the plot?' I cant go and see my GP because I will end up being kicked out of the doctors!! My parents and myself both have the same GP and to say she 'let them down' is an understatement.

Just wanted to know if anybody has had a similar experience. I do suspect I have temporarily 'lost the plot' but it is very weird.

Occasionally I hear what sounds like chatting going on as I drift off to sleep but I cant make out whats being said or it makes no sense but I haven't had that for a while now and I haven't had anything like you describe shabbs. But my mum had a funny experience last week as she was drifting off to sleep. She spoke in a mans voice saying "its a marvellous place". She woke up immediately with a jolt and thought what on earth was that! She wouldn't use the word marvellous usually but my dad used to!

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in a while...things very busy here ATM and staying at mums whilst kitchen is done. Ds2 still so unhappy. I don't know what yo do

Morning, I have booked a swish restaurant for my mums anniversary for my sister, me and my aunt. I felt I had to DO something.

What a lovely idea - its my parents 60th wedding anniversary in August and we are going to have a big party for them both. xx

shabbs the only thing I can think of is that your mind is playing tricks on you whilst you are asleep. This is probably due to the death of your dad and your brain is doing some processing of its own. It's like one of the dreams that we all get at some time where they seem so real.
sleeping that sounds like a lovely idea for her anniversary.