Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

[mummylin2495]

Here we are , our new home

Thanks for all your thoughts everyone.
It wasn't too bad tbh not as bad as last year. Laid flowers down and put some fluffy chicks on a few chocolate eggs. I'm sure she loved all that.
Sad time but strangly I'm ok. I think it's because I cried a river over Mother's Day and her not being around for me to tell her about my job. Still was a very reflective sad time though.

Isthattrue we all know what you are going through. I don't know in respect of the illness your dad is going through as my mum passed in her sleep from a massive stroke. Although she was in a coma for a week brain dead. :(
It must be an absolute living nightmare for you and as the days go on please know we are all there right with you we all know how horrendous it is. Huge hugs to you and please know jump in when ever you need us xx

How is everyone doing? Gosh I'm pleased I have Mother's Day over and today. Next week is a little hard as she passed on the date of Good Friday that year! But I don't let if effect Easter for the kids. We still have a good one! X

Oh blimey! I thought that had happened as had to change mine. Why they would want to hack a site like this is beyond me!

Where does it say about it Lin x

Thank you for the well wishes, today has been even more deterioration. I think he's ready to pass. Not sure I am.

Holding your hand is this true
Right here with you xx

we are here for you true, I sat in the same position with my mum 18 months ago and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. you are providing him such support, we are here to support you. T how are you doing and you Linn?

Thinking of all of you x

I lost my dad 8 months ago. He was 67 and past suddenly. I found it very hard to deal with and chose to have bereavment counselling. My baby was 6 weeks when he died so my hormones were all over the place. My mother is not dealing with it well. Counselling was definately the right thing to do for me. It has helped so much.

Hello clairmary sorry to hear about your dear dad. I am glad you found counselling helpful to you. Anything that helps anyone has to be for the good. It's such an awful time isn't it, must if been difficult for you with a new baby at the time.always someone here when you want to talk about it or have a rant, which we all do now and again !

t you have to look at site stuff and after the first password change MN then wiped everyone's password so you need to click on their link and do it again if you already changed it. Can't do without MN!

Hey sm I'm not doing too bad. Sad bouts. But not too bad. Surreal melocoly day. Thanks for the support guys xx

Badvoc - good to hear your mum has a few plans going on with the bedrooms bless her. How are you today?

Lin - thanks about mums net year got an email today about it! What's concerning me is how compromised if it was compromised atall!
How's your break going hope your going along ok and hot lots of visitors company other wise we're here

Clairmary - so very sorry of your loss. Please come back and chat anytime I also had councilling for 4 sessions which worked and helped me. Thinking of you x

Ssd / biscuits thanks got you support xxx

Hi all,

just a quick check in from me. I haven't been around since my last 'post and run'! Have been busy having a job interview (got it - phew!) and finding out that i might have to have a hysterectomy. This follows on from my mastectomy last year which i had kind of hoped would be it for a while.

I've had some bleeding which my breast surgeon wasn't happy about. Gynae referral means that I'm now awaiting womb biopsies and results of those will determine what happens next. I've never had any gynae problems so this is all a bit of a shocker. Got this news the day before my interview, and had an overwhelming urge to see my mum....

First anniversary of her death is on Tuesday. This day last year i spent all day at her bedside and spent my final morning with her on the Monday. I told her how much i loved her, what a great mum and nana she had been and how we would all be ok, and then that afternoon, when we had gone out for a walk and a breather, she died.... Sometimes when I think about it, it feels like just yesterday.

We are going away for a couple of days next week (i've got the week off work) so i won't be at home on the day and i feel a bit bad about that. I'm going up to the crematorium later to take some flowers and have a few quiet moments.

Hugs to all going through these difficult times xx

Hi marshy hope tues will be a day of some happy memories for you. I see you are doing the " this time last year " it is something that we all find ourselves doing. The break will do you good I'm sure. Sorry to see about your health, I too have had hysterectomy and for me it was fine, fingers crossed will be the same for you

Thanks lin. I don't really believe that I'll have to go through another cancer scare and major op but then again this time last year I didn't think I'd be having a mastectomy, so who knows!?

I went to the crematorium earlier, put some roses on mum's memorial, had a chat with her and a little cry. Feel better for it...

When will you know if you have to have anther op ? I hope they don't keep you waiting too long till you find out. I hope there s some other reason and it's not what you fear. What a nightmare for you. Do let us know how you are going on. Always here to listen

Hi lin,
I'm awaiting an appointment for biopsies and then I guess the decision will be made once the results are in. Not sure how long that takes. When I was on the breast cancer pathway it was all very clear as to when results came through. Doesn't seem quite so regimented in this case. I have another appt to see the gynaecologist in 4 weeks come what may. Sorry to high jack the thread. I'm also over on the hysterectomy thread!
Keeping busy today as it is 'the day' although mum's actual anniversary is tomorrow

Oh I posted on that thread a couple of weeks ago to answer a query ! I'm sure you are now going everything that happened this time last year. It's horrible isn't it, and you wonder where that year has gone and how is it possible that time has gone already. Hope you have happy memories to help you through the day.
On another note my poor aunty ( mums sister ) fell in the garden yesterday and has fractured several bones in her wrist, but as if that's not bad enough, she had bowel cancer several years ago and has a colostomy , well when I spoke to my uncle a couple of hours ago they were waiting for the doc as it seems she has a blockage. This normally means going into hospital for a few days. So I expect she is feeling really upset at the moment. I'm going to phone again soon to see what's happening

Hope you are all doing ok and you are enjoying the nice weather.
Mums birthday coming up on Sunday, so I will take her some birthday flowers ( and an Easter egg ) which I expect the squirrels will eat ! My dh will be back tomorrow.

Hi lin, yeah lovely weather here too!! Ill be thinking of you on Sunday, let us know what flowers you take, yeah im sure the squirrels would have taken my mums little mini chocolate eggs we left my her flowers oh and the yellow fluffy chicks!

My mum passed that year on Easter Sunday, although we still get on with Easter though as my mum wouldn't want it any other way, plus we cant remember too many dates. I think Easter falls on the date of my mums passing.

Marshy all the very best will be thinking of you xx
love to all xx

Dh is home after 5. Nights away with friends for a footi trip. It has been peaceful to say the least !
I hope everyone is ok. Thinking of you T weekend will soon be here and over ( thank god )

Morning all!
The sun is still shining here - can't believe this lovely weather. We got back last night from 2 days in North Wales. Aching muscles now as did I a lot of walking but it was good to get away.
Now in my 2nd year of losing my mum. Feel a bit sad as she gets further away from me....
Gonna make the most of the next few days as dd back to uni on Monday.
Wishing everyone a nice day xx

Thanks for your good wishes t

Hi, sorry for hijacking the thread! My dad died 10 days ago. Its all very strange at the moment. I don't know where I am with the grief but I just have a profoundly disappointed feeling. Like its not fair that hes gone. He deserved more than what he got and suffered so awfully in the last few months. I guess im grieving for the life he should be living and should have had and of course grieving for not being able to see or talk to him anymore. Well, I still talk to him but I would love to be able to in person. People say it gets easier. Does it ever really get any easier?

Hello everyone, sorry I haven't been on for a while.

Littlepink I am so sorry for your loss. I'm not sure yet whether it gets easier, I'm still waiting to find out :S It sounds as though your Dad experienced a lot of suffering. It's hard to come to terms with that, let alone the loss itself.

There's lots more posts I want to respond to since I last visited but we're expecting guests in a minute and they're staying overnight so I hope to come back in the morning and say hello to you all.

Sending love to all. x

littlepink sorry that you have had to join us here.
As regards the question you ask, I suppose it does get easier in some ways, there are less tears over the months, but the hole in your heart for me remains exactly the same. You will find the coming months a mixture of sadness, disbelief and sometimes even anger. It's all encompassing.
I hope you have some RL support as you certainly need someone in your corner. I honestly don't think that life ever gets back to how it was. I know fir me it will never be the same now my mum has gone. I still find myself saying " how can that of happened "
Please post whenever you need to, there is usually one of us will come along at some point. Look after yourself.

hi littlepink, sorry to see you have joined us here and your words about you dad and his suffering it is so hard isn't it to see someone we love in so much pain. sometimes I think it's kinder that mum doesnt have to go through it anymore then I hate myself for thinking that because she would give anything to still be here with her grandsons. I don't think it gets easier it gets more manageable I guess. it won't always feel the way it does now is what I'm trying to stay I think. how is everyone today? school holidays always make me feel grim and wonder what we would be doing if she were here. big grief this week in the family because mums husband took up a plant that my grandparents planted on mums grave. he says because it had overgrown and was blocking the stone they say it should of been cut down to grow again next year not pulled out. ultimately I think its about money as mums husband paid for the plot and funeral so they think he's done it out of that reasoning. it just makes me sad, I don't care who plants what or who paid for what I care that she has a nice place to rest, that they can plant and pull out fifty fecking plants and it won't bring her back so why argue about it. had a grim afternoon with sd, don't think im built for pre teen girl hormones.