Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

[mummylin2495]

Here we are , our new home

t875 Your plans for Mother's Day sound really nice.

Badvoc How are you doing today?

I am wading through grief soup today. Exhausting and I don't want to do it anymore. The world doesn't make sense today.

Oh water lego massive hugs to you!! So hard when we get these times days isn't it. It's crap unfair and bloody hard when that void hits. Try and focas on something you like to do take some time for yourself Hun xx

Hi everyone, thank you for the kind words.
I can't be sorry my aunt is out of pain and no longer suffering, but I mourn the loss of another link to my dad, and for my poor cousins who had to sit by her bedside and watch their mother die.
We have been to see my cousin today - she is in pieces.
It wasn't a pleasant end :(
I have offered to help in whatever way I can, but realistically I won't be able to do much as I am not next of kin.
My cousin is going to ask my brother to be one of the pallbearers. I am massively touched by this. Shouldn't be difficult for them to carry, she was only about 4 stone when she died :(
Apparently a few days ago when my cousin was there she pointed to the photo she had of my dad and said "my boy" :(
I am heartbroken.
and I didn't think I had any heart left to break.

Wading through Grief soup...what a great description Lego! That's exactly it. And I am tiring now.

:( want to give you all a big hug, in the least creepy way I can say that without coming across as a crazy internet folk. I am sure your support means a lot to your cousins badvoc it's amazing the difference it can make to have that other person there who understand but to Watch others go through it must be horrendous. I went to give blood today, was all very easy and pain free but feeling a bit naff now like I have no energy. dp being a diamond though which I don't deserve as been a right misery. he went to choose mothers day stuff today and I kept walking off doing my own thing I know he understand but felt mean all the same. tried to go in the card shop but had to leave was surrounded by cups and teddies was too much, went to buy seeds for the planter instead. mums husband birthday tomorror, breaks my heart that he will wake up and go to bed alone, id offer to go out for tea but don't think he would feel comfortable he is much more a flying visit then he's home guy. my mum loved the bones of him even when he was behaving less than admirably and him her too.

Here's hoping that everyone is managing to avoid so many card shops at the moment. Wehave another two weeks nearly to have to see them.
I don't think I will ever be the same person again, I don't find pleasure in things I previously did, I am consumed with the loss of my mum, nothing else is important . For some reason I have started thinking of that last visit in the hospital. I know one day it will get better and for the most I can cope with it, think its because I had a weird dream last night which involved my mums purse !

I haven't dreamt about dad once :(
I don't know why.
Then I read somewhere that not dreaming is a symptom of being a sociopath!!
Oh dear.
I now worry I shall run amok one of these days.....

You would think that our loved ones being constantly in our minds we would dream a lot wouldn't you badvoc
Anyway how are you today. Has your cousin started arranging things. Do you have to do anything ?

Yes, you would.
Funeral is next Thursday.
Need to sort childcare as it's late afternoon...

That's odd my message posted but was still in the text box !
Next week not this ?

I have been mesmerised by the thread about the missing plane. A lot of knowledgable people on there so no point me posting anything. I don't know anything about planes. What a terrible thing to happen and the poor poor families. It's a nightmare for them.

hi girls, am quickly checking in, am at the local library, laprtop still not fixed aaarrrggghhhh!!!!

so sorry to see your news badvoc, my god you've been through it

and hugs to everyone here, I havent forgot any of you, just been in the wilderness for ages now!!

Oh that's a blow ssd how much longer do you have to wait ?

Hi ssd x

Hi ssd, that sucks I went two weeks without internet and that annoyed me enough hope you can get it sorted.how is everyone? the kids are all busy doing various things im rather bored. I want to do my fitness dvd tonight, gave blood yesterday and arm still feels a bit weird but otherwise feel okay just bit lacking energy do you think I will be alright with it?
The garden is looking a bit straighter and ive bought some new seeds for mums planter. ds been crying again tonight saying no one plays with him at lunch and hes been sitting on his own, feeling like I cant help him as I never know till the end of the day

Sm...I would give it 48 hours tbh.
Sorry to hear about ds :(
Heartbreaking isn't it?
Ds2 tells me every morning how much he will miss me :(

Aw man my backside is never gonna get any smaller! something always crops us was aiming to do I 4x a week and its ending up more like two!.

It makes me so sad, he used to love going into classs and now he faffs at the door for ages finding any reason to stay. I don't think anyon has been mean to him today he just hasn't had anyone to play with.

Have you spoken to the ct?

yes she said that he joins in fine and has lots of friends in class think it's at playtime that he ends up alone he's not really the type to go and immerse himself in a game so ends up on the sidelines

well it all kicked off again today after taking fifty minutes to get him to come downstairs and him not wanting to go to school I spoke to his teacher who told me he was fine but they would keep an eye. got home and he got all upset and told me that there were two children making him go to different areas of the playground and if he didn't they were "going to hurt him" so I rung up and have a meeting tomorrow. no wonder he hasn't wanted to go to school.

Not good sm. hope you can get things sorted for ds! I'd not be happy atall. Bless him. X

Badvoc - thoughts still with you along with everyone here.
Ssd - boo miss you! Hurry back soon!
Biscuits thoughts as always x
Will be back tomorrow to catch up
Love to all x

Hello all thinking of everybody.
Have just watched an inspiring lady on breakfast tv talking about dementia which she has. I am so worried about mum having this as her memory is so bad at the moment. Every morning I ring her she has mislaid something it was her teeth the other day! She refuses to go to doctors after what happened to dad. Just wish it wasn't called dementia what an utterly hopeless ,depressing name for it. Wy can't it just be called memory loss just know if she has that label she will go downhill straight away
Supermario hope the meeting goes well and they put measures in place to sort it straight away. Hold on to that anger so you are not fobbed off.

Hi kerstina.

I lost my post grr. I agree about calling dementia a different word. I'm sure if she does go down the road any further you can make sure they don't use the word round her. Hopefully she us just over tired and not with it I tried putting the tea bags in the fridge the other day!!

Lin - where you reading the chat about the missing plane? I'm following The Guardian website it's really good
Personally I think they need to call in the psychics what have they got to lose. Can't imagine what them poor families are going through. The frustration for me would seriously be boiling point.

Hello everyone. It was our wedding anniversary yesterday so 11 of us went out for dinner, the day was tinged witha bit of sadness as dh,s sister died on the same date 4 yrs ago. And now today We have heard from a friend that his mum also died yesterday. It makes any celebrating seem wrong somehow. It is the mum of someone my dh grew up with, I only hope he made peace with her before she died as there was a lot of friction between him and his parents. We are half expecting him to come round, which is fine but I know his sadness will affect me as I will think of my own mum once again.
T on a lighter note I had my sister round yesterday and her little twins, oh my god I would end up in a nut house if they were mine ! They are two. But she s a lot happier now she has left your town, she felt very alone there. Nw she has all of us and can. Pop round to any of us for a cuppa .

My aunts funeral is next Thursday - so my cousins will have to face Mother's Day 3 days after their mothers funeral :(
My cousin is requesting that we wear pink - my aunt loved pink. She wore pink to both my cousins weddings.
I, however, have a pathological hatred for it!!
So I am going to borrow a Scarf from my mil and tie it on my bag or some thing. Dh needs a pink tie...he is thrilled about that!
Seem to have caught this cough virus that everyone seems to have :( didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
And spending 2 hours this afternoon sorting mum greenhouse and loading up a skip haven't helped! My sister helped...til she saw her first spider then she was off! I was ok til I saw a rat, then I called it a day.
Am hoping. Dh will bath the boys. Am knackered.