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Bereavement

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Original poster

My brother was murdered last night.

342 replies

MetallicHighlights · 04/12/2013 21:17

That's it, really. He was stabbed to death on his doorstep. Just been staring at the photo of his house with the forensic tent outside on the BBC website.

I've been spamming FB with maudlin photos but reckon my friends there have probably had enough by now, so have come here to rant instead.

DD (14) adored him. She is being very brave. DS doesn't know yet as it's his 5th birthday today and I wanted him to have one more day of fun before he learns that life is shit.

So how do we get through this?

OP posts:
THECliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 05/12/2013 13:11

So sorry that your brother has been taken from you in the worst possible way just before Christmas.

I hope you can take comfort in the fact that he lives on in your memories and that just by being alive on this earth, he has changed peoples lives for the better - yours, your childrens, his friends, etc. He has left his mark on this world.

It might help if you did something awesome in his memory?

ZingSweetPea · 05/12/2013 13:43

Metallic

I wondered if you might want to have a plant named after him - especially that he was a gardener.
can't link, but there's more info on the Royal Horticulture Society's website.

I keep thinking about just what a horrible, tragic loss this is.
your poor parents as well. my heart goes out to you as well.Sad Thanks

ZingSweetPea · 05/12/2013 13:47

*to you all

not as well, stupid auto correct

Toomuch2young · 05/12/2013 13:51

Goodness i am so so sorry. Words just don't seem enough do they.
Thinking of you and all your family. RIP Jon, he sounds like a brilliant brother. Wishing you strength for the road ahead.

ASmittenKitten · 05/12/2013 13:55

So sorry.

SnakeyMcBadass · 05/12/2013 14:11

I'm so very sorry for your loss. There aren't words xxx

Original poster
MetallicHighlights · 05/12/2013 22:44

Something will be happening in his memory, we are working on the details. His lovely friends brought us safely home.

Such a hard day, now in the house where we grew up and where he lived till just a year ago. I've seen him everywhere today, when I walk into a room, for a split second - and then I've lost him again.

The liaison officer came to give us the details of the post mortem and his injuries. Images won't go away.

Kids have been spared the worst, but DD is being pestered by "friends" who have seen the story and want more gory details, or by her best mates who met him once and are sobbing hysterically. Have confiscated her phone now.

Small boy is getting his head round the fact that someone hurt his uncle enough to make him die. More detailed than I would have wanted, but he needed an explanation for the police presence.

Reception / internet is pants so can only read and post intermittently.

Second person arrested. God knows what is going on there.

And Jon is still dead. No matter how many times DS asks when he's coming back, because he needs help to build his lego castle.

But we've made it through two days. We're still here. We can do this.

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 05/12/2013 22:48

You can do it, because you have to.
Just so sorry that you have to find the strength for it.

I am glad plans are afoot to commemorate your brother.

I hope you find some sleep tonight x.

ParsingFancy · 05/12/2013 22:50

Keep going, keep breathing. Thanks

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 05/12/2013 23:01

So pleased to see that you are laughing and finding humour even in these horrible circumstances.
It really is good medicine, and will help you all through.

Hugs and Flowers, you're amazing.

BigArea · 05/12/2013 23:02

Metallic I just wanted to add my condolences - I am so sorry you have lost your lovely brother. Like many others I saw his photo and was struck by how kind and sparkly he looked. You are doing amazingly, I wish you peace x

Original poster
MetallicHighlights · 05/12/2013 23:09

Thank you. Going to sleep now.

OP posts:
IamtheZombie · 05/12/2013 23:11

Metallic, Zombie has no adequate words.

Her thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and all of Jon's friends. She has lit a candle for him.

Bumblebzz · 05/12/2013 23:12

So sorry for your loss. Tears are free flowing down my face as I've just read the whole thread and I cannot fathom what you are going through. You sound truly amazing and strong and your children are lucky to have you as their mother and your brother as an uncle they will never forget.
X

Original poster
MetallicHighlights · 05/12/2013 23:18

Not strong at all but being held up by strength sent by others. The kindness of friends and kindness of strangers. And of course Zombies. Thanks Thanks Thanks

Now I really am going to (try to) sleep.

OP posts:
ZingSweetPea · 05/12/2013 23:27

I thought that others finding out and bothering your DD would be a tough one.
Your poor DS, nobody can replace his wonderful Uncle Jon.
so so sad.

superlambanana · 05/12/2013 23:31

Thinking of you and your family Metallic. You will get through this and it will get easier. Don't feel you have to be strong all the time. Thanks

CiderwithBuda · 05/12/2013 23:32

Thinking of you. So very sad. Look after yourself. You will be trying to be strong for everyone else I suspect.

ExcuseTypos · 06/12/2013 00:08

So very sorry that your brother has gone. He sounds a lovely man.

As others have said, just take one step at a time. You are in shock and will be for a while. Be kind to yourself and keep close to those who can support you. Xxx

LoveAndDeath · 06/12/2013 00:20

Metallic, I am so very sorry for your loss. What a terrible, needless tragedy. Jon sounds like a lovely man xx

Original poster
MetallicHighlights · 06/12/2013 10:29

Slept well in the end, though I seem to have cried in my sleep a lot.

DD still fast asleep so leaving her as long as possible.

DS just found this year's photo book - I do them every year as a Christmas present for my mum, but brought it over now as it's not going to be appropriate at Christmas now. I only made it as far as March and had to stop. All the good stuff we did in 2013 has been overwritten now. But I am going to look at it soon and reclaim it. That bastard took Jon's future but his past, his glorious, eccentric, happy past, is ours.

OP posts:
TheGonnagle · 06/12/2013 10:42

Metallic I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you strength to carry on in these dark days x

ExcuseTypos · 06/12/2013 10:50

You are right about owning Jon's past.

It will be too painful at the moment for you to even put that photo album together, but you will do it when you're ready and it will be a treasured thing for you all.

Sidge · 06/12/2013 11:02

I'm so sorry that you have lost your wonderful brother in such a shocking way.

Sending you love, peace and strength and hoping that the good memories of Jon can overshadow the horror, in time xxx

CakeExpectations · 06/12/2013 11:02

Oh Metallic, I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

I've just read the news report and was struck by Jon's lovely smiley eyes. He looks like the nicest man. Why would anyone do this? It's beyond comprehension.

Wishing you and your family strength for the hard times to come. Thanks