Walking together on a journey - sharing experiences, tears, anger and sometimes even laughter. United we stand, divided we fall.

[shabbatheGreek]

This special thread was started in 2008. Its a special place - one which nobody would ever willingly come to. I hope we pay tribute to our lost children by helping each other. xxxx

snorris, graves and bedrooms, they're "stuff". We associate stuff with people and sometimes when someone dies, we and others attach a lot of importance to it. But none of it is truly important, the essence of a person does not live on in the things they owned or the place we bury them, the essence of a person is what we carry around with us in our hearts and minds, the memories of them, the love we have for them.
I go to Sylvie-Rose's grave a lot, it doesn't help particularly and I don't feel any closer to her than I do if I sit at home and think of her. I often walk away feeling worse because my daughter shouldn't have a grave at all. And because she doesn't have a headstone and because the little garden I have made for her is not as lovely as it should be, I often feel guilty.

Morning girls xx

Good evening folks. chipmonkey/WeAreSeven here, this is my halloween name.

Morning girls xx

Great name Chips xx

Morning girls xx

Two years. Two years served in the half-life. Was I very bad in a previous life, that I got this sentence?

31 years since my twin baby boy died and 21 years since Matt was killed. I am a totally different person. I am kind, compassionate, caring and very, very SARCASTIC and a nasty 'piece of work' as my Nan would say.

Dont know what it is all about x

Morning girls xx

Is anyone around to helpme someone just really upset me and I dont know what to say

A friend just text me to say just think v soon you will be a mum of two :( its just really really upset me as this baby is my third nit my second :( I dont know what to reply tbh

Oh white that is really insensitive of her.

I would just send a text back telling her you will be a Mum of 3, not 2. It might make her think twice before saying anything again. Some people are so thoughtless the only thing they will respond to is you being blunt with them.

(((((HUGS)))))

white text her back and tell her that you will be a Mum of three. Which you are and always will be. If you don't do it now, she will continue to say things like that and just cause you more aggro. Did this friend do something like this before?

Thing is she was sending me a really nice message and I know she didnt mean to hurt me

but boy does that sting :(

when I was pg before I had a mc but after I lost my ds
I had alot if comments about what its gonna be like when ive got two......

:( :( :(

She didn't mean to hurt you, but she will more than likely say it again if you don't correct her, which will hurt you all over again. You don't have to be unkind, but a gentle reminder that you will be a Mum of 3 wouldn't go amiss.

i replied back, well i'ii be a mum of three really as ds will always be my second.

feel really guilty as i don't want to her or upset her
and i don't think ment to hurt me

it just really really did

white, you did the right thing. And you said it nicely.

white good on you for saying that to your friend, it will make things so much easier for you to say it again in the future, although hopefully you won't need to.

salmonella Sylvie-Rose! How are you faring today, lovely? I have been with a friend this afternoon, and I kept on calling her DD Sylvie-Rose, as her name is very similar...

We are organising a charity ball for Mia's Wood next month, and yesterday I decided to promote it in a class that Finn does. It was a little 'gully" but I did it - some of the other mothers knew about Mia, but I could see the shock, horror and sympathy on the faces of the others who didn't. Still, I am glad they all know about Mia now.

Tough day. I find it hard because unlike her birthday, there's nothing specific to do, nothing that you "should" do so it makes the day very long. Lots of lovely people saying lovely things and the flowers we got this year were from a local florist who do posies and bouquets that are just a little "different" but it was a nice display than last year. Dh was not very impressed with my attempt to put a little hedge around Sylvie-Rose's grave so he and the boys are re-doing it this weekend. He is right, I planted very crookedly and the shrubs were very poor quality but I was a little upset as I had worked quite hard on it.

Yes, there is nothing positive about a remember day, is there? On a birthday, you can remember meeting your child.

Realise that autocorrect didn't like what I had written... it was "gulpy" rather than "gully"... serves me right for making up words!

Thanks guys sorry for bargining in like that

I tried to say it as nicely as I possibily could
as I really didnt want to hurt or upset anyone

but I couldnt just suck it up
and im fed up with people hurting me :( :( :(

Yes, Mias, I noticed the "gully" but thought maybe it was some Aussie/UK thing that I hadn't heard!

white, you are the one who lost your child so other people need to be careful not to upset you, not the other way round. And if we don't correct them, they will blithely go on saying those things possiblly to other bereaved parents and never think for a moment that they are causing any hurt.

Yeah salmon, I know you are right

feel a bit less guilty now and am actually glsd ive stuck up for myselc for once
being assertive doesnt always come easy to me xx

thanks for ttalking to me about it xxxx

Morning girls xx

You did the right thing White. xxx

Morning, shabs!

Did she reply white?

She didn't reply