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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

A little hand holding please...

510 replies

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest · 26/04/2013 03:48

My gorgeous husband kissed ds1, aged 5, ds2, aged 3, and I, tonight, told us each that he loved us and went to play football, as he has every Thursday for the last 10 years.

38 minutes later, I had a call from his mate to say that he was having some kind of fit. By the time I arrived at the pitch, he was receiving cpr. Eventually we agreed they should stop at the hospital. He was 39 years old and the best daddy and husband one could hope for.

I'm lying here, wide awake, totally numb, and trying to think how to tell our beautiful boys that their super daddy didn't make it home.

I don't know when I'll be back on here., as I'm supposed to be trying to sleep, but just needed to say the words above.

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 26/04/2013 04:20

Survival, what a dreadful shock and I am so sorry for your loss. Have you anyone in RL who can be with you? Family? a friend? Sleep if you can but if you can't then there are MNers all over the globe who can be with you in the wakeful hours. Sending a hand hold and a Brew.

5madthings · 26/04/2013 04:24

Oh i am so so sorry, no wise words but holding your hand and thinking of you and your lovely boys xxx

saffronwblue · 26/04/2013 04:31

survival holidng your hand. Hope you get some sleep with big hard days to face. What a terrible, terrible shock and loss.

ecofreckle · 26/04/2013 05:15

Sending you love and light.

Maybe use this thread to share how you are feeling. Maybe writing it down will help you navigate through it all and we'll always be here to respond.

Sure that advice at present is probably too little to plug the massive gap but from experience I'd focus on short term goals like getting through next half hour and remembering to have a cup of tea and biscuit if you can.

Contacting cruse (bereavement charity) by phone early on might be useful. As might delegating as many jobs to others as you can so you can focus on your dc. Get some Rescue remedy too maybe.

Just some thoughts, but mostly just sending lots of support your way.

PollyLogos · 26/04/2013 05:25

Much love to you and your boys. I hope you've managed to fall asleep and get some rest. I agree with one of the other posters, after such a shock you need to have small short term aims at the moment. Also if possible get your mum, sister or a friend round for support.

overtheseatocalais · 26/04/2013 06:09

So sorry to read this desperately sad news. You must feel shocked beyond belief. Sadly, there are others on here that have been through similar and they may be able to offer you some support and empathy. I hope you have lots of support in RL. Your DH and the boys' Daddy sounds amazing. In deepest sympathy.

Greydog · 26/04/2013 07:22

I am so sorry to read this, sending you and the children love and hugs, and much sympathy.

ben5 · 26/04/2013 07:31

sending you all a big hug. take one step at a time and remember to ask for help

tumbletumble · 26/04/2013 07:34

Survival how absolutely devastating. Sending you strength and hugs. Have you told the boys yet? Maybe ask someone to come and help you with that?

Jinsei · 26/04/2013 07:37

I'm so, so sorry. What a terrible shock. I can't offer any words of advice but sending big hugs. Somehow, you will find the strength within you to go on, for the sake of your beautiful boys. I hope that you have good RL support around you, but we will be here too, whenever you need us. Take care.

HairyPotter · 26/04/2013 07:40

Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry, there are no words. You have had an enormous shock. Can you call someone to be with you.

Just try and take it minute by minute for now.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts xx

purplewithred · 26/04/2013 07:42

I am so very sorry to hear this, you and your DCs are in my thoughts.

Rowgtfc72 · 26/04/2013 07:44

Im so sorry. Ask family for help, take things one day at a time and cuddle your boys. Thinking of you x

SpringtimeForHitler · 26/04/2013 07:45

I am so sorry.xxxx

TheUnicornsGoHawaiian · 26/04/2013 07:45

I am so sorry for your loss.

SpringMoreLikeSag · 26/04/2013 07:48

Survival - I am so, so sorry to hear about your wonderful dh. The word shock seems pathetically inadequate to describe how you must be feeling.

Do you have friends or family that can be with you?

Allice · 26/04/2013 07:49

I'm so so sorry for your loss.

SoupDragon · 26/04/2013 07:51

So sorry to hear this

sassytheFIRST · 26/04/2013 07:54

How very sad and shocking for you. I'm so sorry.

SageBush · 26/04/2013 07:56

I am so very sorry.

DaydreamDolly · 26/04/2013 07:59

What a devastating shock. I'm so sorry. I can't find the words. Sending you so much love.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 26/04/2013 08:00

Oh lovely, I'm so, so sorry

I hope you have someone with you now to give you some support.

Please come back to this thread if you feel you can - there's always someone here to hold your hand and listen x

InkleWinkle · 26/04/2013 08:04

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you must be going through.

Stay on MN though, there are (sadly) others who have experienced such loss & can help you.

5madthings · 26/04/2013 08:46

survival i hope you managed to get some sleep and that you have family/friends around to support you.

Big hugs to you and your boys, thinking of you xxx

PicardyThird · 26/04/2013 08:48

Oh, you poor, poor love. I am so very sorry. What a horrible shock.

Concentrate now on looking after yourself and your darling boys.

Much love across the ether.

x