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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Support thread for anyone grieving for a parent

979 replies

mummylin2495 · 08/12/2012 19:28

I have done as maybe has suggested and started a new thread.My comp dosent cope well with long threads.

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Original poster
mummylin2495 · 05/03/2013 11:48

My card has arrived so I will now copy what it says.

Today it is Mothers day Mum,a day that we find hard
You never wanted any fuss but you always loved your card,
It breaks our hearts to know that your no longer here
We know before the day has passed we'll all have shed a tear,
We never cease to miss you or ever cease to care,
For in the corner of our hearts
you'll stay forever there,
We love you so much Mum
what more is there to say,
We hope all the angels sing
For you on this your special day.

and on the top above the heart where the writing is it says " Special memories on Mothers day Mum "

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Original poster
mummylin2495 · 05/03/2013 11:49

No further news about the other lady yet.

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BiscuitsandBaileys · 05/03/2013 12:05

Mummylin thats lovely, the words are perfect. I had a look at your tattoo the other day, it's very nice Smile I've been thinking about getting another one, a pink butterfly and a blue butterfly to represent my mum and dad. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the tattoo shop on Saturday to get one designed and it was shut as he was ill! Hope thats not a sign! hope you're doing ok.

ssd- I think thats a good idea for you to phone cruse again, it may help you to talk things through with someone that will listen and know how you're feeling.
Big {hugs} to you xx

t875 · 05/03/2013 12:10

ssd I think Cruse will definitely be good for you, they helped me a lot. I also was the same not in same situation, but i had a lot with my brother, friends family but not like you are with your family ssd.
let us know how you get on, give them a call, or if you don't want to see anyone or you have to wait, i waited just over a month..then you could phone the generic number and just talk to someone (you obviously have us thought too)
always here for you ssd. xx

Hi everyone, still thinking of you Mummylin, must be a very hard time waiting. x

finding mothers day coming up very hard, cant believe she isnt here, love her loads and miss her so much. I wish I could see her, hug her, chat to her, fgs its bloody hard!! How the hell do they just go!!! nothing told us anything was wrong!! She looked very tired though when i look back at pictures. Sad

Hi biscuits, snowflake,maybe, and anyone else ive missed.

Thinking of all on this thread, and sending strength if needed. Fletch hope you are going along as good as you can do xx

Hope eveyrone is feeling not too bad, were be here for each other on Sunday, sending strength x

I am behind, so will be having a read back over

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 05/03/2013 12:10

OH biscuits the two little butterflies sound lovely. Cant believe it was a whole week ago I had my new one done.Mine completely healed ,no more scabbing and now looks a bit neater as its been washed several times now.I have to admit I don't like having them done ,but I do love the finished result.I now feel I will always have my mum with me.

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Original poster
mummylin2495 · 05/03/2013 12:13

I too think that you should contact cruse ssd you cannot go on the way you are ,you are going to end up being ill.
Also for fletch today xxxxxxx

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t875 · 05/03/2013 13:33

mummylin - lovely words and spot on for my feelings too for my mum!

Biscuits - lovely idea about the butterfly tattoos for your mum and dad xx

maybeyoushoulddrive · 05/03/2013 14:50

Hello everyone. It's ages since I've come on this thread - somehow I found it wasn't what I needed just then, making me dwell too much all the time on losing Mum - but I have been thinking of you all and wondering how things were going. I will go back and read though all your messages and catch up a bit.

Mummylin - I can't believe you have tattoosShock you are so brave!

ssd - I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. It sounds like Cruse might be a good idea - someone who really listens and may be able to offer the support you need.

t875 - I too am dreading Mother's Day. Dd is performing in a concert that day so at least I'll be focussing on that, getting costumes etc but I would like to mark it in some way for my mum, dh doesn't understand that at all though Sad

Big hugs to you all (if you want hugs, I know not everyone likes them!) sorry I haven't been around. xxx

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 05/03/2013 22:01

maybe you are completely wrong there ,im not brave at all.In fact each time I have sat in the chair gripping my hands like no-ones business.How people have great big ones is beyond me,i could not stand the pain of it !!

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ssd · 06/03/2013 09:32

hi everyone. I had a nice walk last night, I find it helps to spend a bit of time alone going through stuff in your head

I'll phone cruse too

xx

BiscuitsandBaileys · 06/03/2013 09:35

Glad you enjoyed your walk ssd
Sending more {hugs} your way xx

HoneyKate · 06/03/2013 14:08

To all of you on this thread, I haven't posted lately but have been reading your posts. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you all this week with Mother's Day looming which will be so painful for us all. It's 3 months today since I lost my mum and I feel just as bereft today as I did back in December. I shall be spending a quiet day on Sunday remembering my mum. I do miss her so. Hugs to you all xx

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 06/03/2013 21:35

No further news but I do know the drip has been started.I have just come back from my aunts,who is mums sister.she is 80 today and I felt so sorry that her only sister wasn't here for her birthday.She is very like my mum and of course then I started thinking of mum.We had a little chuckle remembering certain things.But its so sad.

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ssd · 07/03/2013 20:40

I hope this link works, its from a really good bereavement site I found

kristiewest.com/2011/09/21/your-right-to-be-angry-and-why-its-time-to-give-it-up/

ssd · 07/03/2013 20:42

thats better! its about giving up being angry at people who haven't been there for you, its a really good site, www.krisitewest.com

hope it helps anyone

xx

ssd · 07/03/2013 20:43

mummylin, am thinking of you and that poor family Sad

ssd · 07/03/2013 20:45

sorry, the second link didnt work, but the longer first link does

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 07/03/2013 20:55

thanks ssd I just had a quick look nd have saved web pages to my docs.I think there is a lot of stuff there to read.

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ssd · 07/03/2013 21:12

yes I found a lot of it very interesting

t875 · 09/03/2013 18:49

Hi everyone!!

Well what a time eh, my god its very hard. Today has been a little better although I was walking round the shops to get her a plant and a little gift in a daze of watery eyes Sad

saying in my mind yeah aren't you lucky to be getting your mum something!!
I am feeling numb on and off, yesterday was a hard day though and last night, i don't know the realization of what i brought her last year and this year im lighting a candle and to know she isn't going to hear me with my wishes kills me. Sad
I brought her a plant to take to my dads and also i brought some lovely frangranced rose candles (sainsburys) i am lighting one in the morning i will talk to her on my own and have a few minutes with her, then i will have my mothers day as I know for the children and my mum would want that.
we layed flowers at the crem and wrote a small card and left it there.
my god mum I miss you so much. xxx

ssd - I will be looking at your link this is so true, them who aren't worth it do not deserve any tiny part of power hun or deserve to drain us of what makes us the great people we are, I will never be there for a lot of people I thought were close to me, like ive always bent over backwards for. Never again will i be there for them!

Anyways here you are ladies, thinking of you all and please come here if you need to rant, chat, or just put down any words. Hugs to all if needed xxx

t875 · 09/03/2013 18:50

Thanks forgot to add these for you all. xx

ssd · 09/03/2013 20:06

yesterday I bought my mum some lovely red tulips and I drove to the countryside where we scattered her ashes and I laid them down for her...it feels like I've given her flowers again for mothers day. I bought them from M&S, where I always bought her flowers from. I seen the ones I'd have bought her if she was still here and would have put into her red vase at the window, she loved nice flowers. I bought her flowers regularly since dad died, 14 years ago. I didn't buy any flowers for her funeral, I couldn't face any of it, but 6 months on I can buy her flowers again. I'm sure she loved them.

Happy mothers day mum, I love you and always will

xxx

ssd · 09/03/2013 20:08

I didnt tell anyone I did that for mum, you are all the first to hear!! I keep things to myself, its too hard to tell dh and no one else is interested. So thanks for being here everyone xxx

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 09/03/2013 21:27

hello everyone, I will be taking flowers to my mum tomorrow. This is such a hard time isn't it.havent been on here for a couple of days because I have a cold and an awful cough. I will be thinking of you all tomorrow,but most of all I will be thinking of my mum and how she would be waiting for us all to visit.it was one of her highlights. We used to tease her she was like the queen ,waiting for her servants ! love and miss you forever Mum xxxx

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