Support thread for anyone grieving for a parent

[mummylin2495]

I have done as maybe has suggested and started a new thread.My comp dosent cope well with long threads.

ssd glad you felt able to buy your mum flowers and you too t875 its a mixed up day really isn't it,we are missing our own mums ,but we still are mums to our own children.We will get through it ,all of us xxx

had my present off the kids today, some nice chocs for me to munch while im moping about with a cough and splitting headache. I feel like crap about tomorrow and am worried i wont be able to hold it together whilst we take flowers. ds is coming with and i hate him to see me so sad.

Mum, if i could have one more hour i would give up anything. I would never have imagined that when you went off for your tests that would be one of the last times i ever saw you properly. the times in the hospital were so hard it was almost as if you werent you. I so hope you didnt know or feel scared. we tried so hard to help.i hated to see you in such pain mum, you were everything and i miss you so very much :( the days dont seem fun anymore and i rush to my phone to tell you the latest bit of news about the kids but all i have is a load of messages from a better time. you were and always will be my inspiration. you fought with such courage and determination and most of the time with a smile. You would be so proud of your two grandsons, they are both a credit to their wonderful nanna they are also loving and strong. each day that brings sadness they teach us how to laugh again. You will be forever missed and i will carry you with me for the rest of my life. I love you xxx

mummylin I feel absolute rubbish, i have a cough and a cold and feel lousy, hope you and snow flake feel better soon!! I liked hearing about your mum, it is very very hard.

Oh snowflake what a lovely thing you put for your mum, so hard isnt it, my god i know what you mean I miss them phone calls from my mum i miss her like crazy, i feel right now so lonely without her, cant believe she isnt here, my children havent got there nanny, im so sad she has missed out so much i do try and put little bits onto her shelf or i pass her little things to the air...
Last year I brought her a bracelet for mothers day which she used for 3 week then I got it back as a memory how the hell can that be! This year im lighting a candle. :'-(

ssd I loved reading about your flowers, the red vase and the tulip lovely! I bet she loves seeing them, im glad you have had some comfort laying some flowers. xx

Thinking of you all tomorrow

It's such a hard day to get through, I haven't got/given anything to my Mum but I'll wear the dressing gown she bought me and try to feel closer to her. She seems such a long way away just now.

Thinking of you too Maybe, {{hugs}}It is a very hard time, i know what you mean, i really didnt know if I could do anything for my mum.

Biscuits - Hope you are ok thinking of you tomorrow, {{hugs}} to you and catch up soon xx

Sorry, didn't realise you were here. Didn't even see the bereavement topic. Guess this is a bit late to join in, but can I?

My dad died when I was four, in a car crash. Tbh, I don't remember much about him, my mum remarried two years later. I can remember some things, like cuddles. The funeral. Being at the hospital and seeing him and hugging him just before he died. Him taking me to nursery and pretending goblins were chasing after us so we had to run really quickly!

My mum died when I was sixteen. I guess I was unlucky, I lost both parents as a child or a teenager. My step dad was military, and went away for a lot, and my older brothers were abroad, I was the eldest, my step siblings, half siblings, and adopted sister were all a lot younger, so for the last five months (she only lived that long), I was her primary carer. She died at home, due to go into hospital for surger next day. It was only me and my step brother there that day.

I just don't like Mother's Day. Like, I has sixteen years of her, and I can't celebrate with her kw. Can't do anything with her now. No cards, no lunches, no hugs, no whatever. It's my birthday too, usually I can enjoy it because Mother's Day is usually later, but today I can't stop thinking about my mum. Like, she gave birth to me TODAY. But I can't say how much I love her.

hit the nail on the head there SK,its never too late to join us we are all missing someone important. mothers day is so hard this is the first year ive had to face not having my mum here but i cant see it being any easier any other year to be honest. facebook is full of people making dedications to their mums, its lovely but the bitter part of me thinks, well done you manage to bother with your mum for a day what about the rest of the year when you dont care. but thats generally cause im angry. taking some flowers up today but like you, i miss her and i miss just sitting,chatting and having dinner. today literally sucks balls and i cant wait for it to be over :) hoping you all get through the day however best xxx

skratta. wow. that's so very hard for you, and today being your birthday too. I'm sorry,I really am. I don t have my mum and dad now but I'm not a teenager when I lost them. I'm just so sorry for you. I want to say happy birthday, I hope you have as good a one as possible, failing that have some for later!

snowflakes, I'm angry too, I know how you feel. I keep well away from that bloody facebook, have been hurt so many times since mum died from family posting things which are totally unfeeling, so I blocked them all (I only have 1 person on fb now!!).

maybe don't worry about not getting anything for your mum, you will when your ready, go at your own pace and don't rush anything you cant face.

t875, I hope your cold is lifting, its a rotten time of year for you and maybe this is affecting your health, can you buy some multi vits, I think anything that helps is worth it for us.

happy mothers day to us all and to our mums, whereever they are now xxx

Just want to quickly jump on to say Thinking of you all on Mothers day, its very hard but I feel her with me, such a feeling. But wish to god I could say Happy Mothers day and her hear me and give her a big hug Im sure she loves my candle and plant.
Love you loads mum, I know you will always be with me xx

Hope you are all coping as best as you can.On a brighter note ,the lady I was telling you about is still with us.i had mis.information regarding her having the drip.she has a catheter which is releasing fluid from her body , thus less strain on her heart and she has been eating and drinking a little ,but this has now stopped and her kidneys are still failed.So at least for today she is still with her children.I don't think the outcome has changed though.Thinking of you all on this very difficult and sad day.If I could just have my mum for 5 mins I would give everything I have, as im sure you all would.And if I couldn't have 5 mins 1 would do.I would accept anything right now. xx for you all

glad to hear that mummylin, at least one family is spared the heartbreak, if only for just now

and yes, 1 minute would be plenty.....how frustrating is it to read all these petulant posts here about having to spend mothers day with their mums or who takes preference, the poster or her mum {sigh}, its so tempting to scream "dont be like that!!!"

well as hard as it was me and my brother went down and saw my dad and we had a gathering for my mum, cuppa and cake my god that was hard though!! :( We lit a candle and took a plant down to him (for my mum) I had a rose shaped candle at home too for her and a small plant on the table for her. Im sure she was with me/us enjoying all what we done for her!
But the most strangest thing is me and my brother both brought the same plant, from completely separate places, and the name of the plant was not well known either Cant believe that considering I was going to buy flowers!

Nice for her relatives mummylin that the lady is still around for mothers day

Thinking of you all xx

It's easier than a lot of people I know, ssd I think Mother's Day is usually later (like around the 20th) so I just struck unlucky this year, normally it's all fine, I guess. Thinking of everyone struggling with Mother's Day. DH is very understanding, we did most of the presents stuff yesterday because I'm always pretty low on Mother'snDay so he wanted me to be a bit more cheerful. Fortunately I have a lovely step dad (and step mum, he remarried when I was twenty two) and lovely PILs.

Hi all. Just wanted to wish everyone here some peace today.

This is the first Mother's Day without my mum. I'm not having a good day. I took some flowers to the grave yesterday and had a chat (I talk to her all the time as I'm sure we all do).

Had a lovely morning and ds made me two fab cards but I've now decided to cance Mother's Day and just get on with having a lovely Sunday with dh and ds. I have reminded myself that I don't need a special day to know how much I miss mum. Today was making me overly sad, so I cancelled it.

Love and peace to all of us on this difficult day.

Thanks for the hugs t875, much needed today
Sending some your way too {hugs} and for anyone else needing them.

for everyone on the thread xx

well today was quite a long day, no one to visit and no one to come here

went shopping round the town a bit, was ok with all the mothers day cards but in BHS I seen the nightie I always bought mum, a satin pink one with lacy neck, the sort elderly ladies like (mum was 85) and seeing that nightie almost floored me, its so familiar to me, I could have sobbed in the shop.

just wish we had some close family here, or close family at all! feels lonely all the time.

Just crashing this thread as I'm not sure where else to go with all that I want to say. It's been 13 years now. I know for some this is the first Mothers' day without their mums. I have had a lot of years to get used to it. And yes, it does get better. But I still want her. I still miss her. It still hurts.

Sometimes I feel so bitter and twisted. Looking at everyone else with their mums. They're all together, three generations, sometimes four! My lovely mum never got to meet any of her grandchildren. She'd have thought they were incredible. Perfect. I wish she'd have been able to feel that way about them. I wish my children had had that relationship.

My mum was beautiful. I always picture her with a smile. She was funny, kind, thoughtful and loving. She'd have laid down her life for me a thousand times over. I felt complete unconditional love when I had her. I realise I was lucky to have had a mum like that for 25 years. Some people never have that. I just wish it could have been for longer.

I love you Mum. xxx

ds1 is now telling me this day has been the worst ever, he's been so bored...all his friends went to see their gran's today....I said to him "well we have no grans to visit now so what can I do", he makes me feel really really shit for us having no gp's/cousins/aunties/uncles.....I said to him "do you not think this day is boring for me too I'd love to visit your gran but she died" and he said "stop moaning mum"

I dont know what to do with no family, its always been bad but with mum gone I've got no one now. I know exactly what you mean jeza, seeing extended families almost kills me it hurts so much. I just dont know how to get past this loneliness, its never ending.

thank god this day is almost over and once again we have to pick ourselves back up and get on with it.I went to crem this afternnon and one of my brothers and his wife were already there,another brother had already been .BUT my other brother not a single bloody flower from him,it makes me so angry.And I know that my sister lives away but what is to stop her sending me a tenner and asking me to get some flowers from her.I know that one day I will not be able to bite my tongue.But for us three who did bother it looked lovely,of course as I have said before mum is buried next door to my sister so she had to have flowers too !! it all looked lovely,but it was so cold.I didn't stay long or I would of got frostbite I think.Welcome to the new posters,glad you found us,to everyone else keep your chins up,thats another milestone nearly gone xxx

Oh ssd they do say things dont they, they just dont realise the pain we are going through. {{{huge hugs to you, i know not the same but you have us hun and you chat and vent anytime}}}

Biscuits - here for you too {{hugs}} so not easy and here if you need a chat xxx

Jeza and crikey - come back to this thread anytime, we have helped eachother through the tough times we go through, venting, talking, i know its helped me loads. Thinking of you both. crikey im the same i talk to my mum loads and i also like getting my signs the odd random white feather and other things, this gives me comfort at times but then other times it didnt as I wanted to see her and share things hug her etc.

My mothers day was ok I pushed forward i know my mum would have kicked me backside if i didnt. I got flowers, chocs, a charm necklace, and lovely angel wing earings, little ones. lovely made up poem by my youngest and eldest baked me a cake. (very handy her liking baking) :)
still been hard though without my mum, but i lit a candle for her and brought a plant and took one to my dads and lit a candle there for her.
I sobbed my heart out when i got to my dads the realization of my mum not there killed me!!

MUM

I cant believe this time last year I could say Happy Mothers Day to you this year im lighting a candle and talking to you hoping you can hear.
such a special, kind, caring, funny, quirky, elegant always looking with pride lady.
always loved treating me and the girls and R you breezed through life and didnt let much get you down, you are an inspiration mum and i will take so much of you in me and we are together mum, I am you! I know you are with us and was with us today, me and the girls miss you so much and wish we could hug you and share so much with you, you will always be in my heart every day, ill take you with me mum with all we do. Love and miss you loads my best friend xxxx

My thoughts are with you all and {{hugs}} if needed xx

An incredibly hard day. First Mother's Day without mum and my first Mother's Day as a mum. Very mixed emotions.

mummylin - Tough day and family just surprise you don't they, i have to say ive surprisingly had a lot of support from friends which i didn't expect to happen.
sad about your brother i bet that really p'd you off it would me. what you all did was lovely and im sure your mum appreciated it and your sister xx

Well, yesterday was interesting..
Went to church yesterday morning on my own and couldn't stop crying. Because I was helping at the service, my seat next to Dad got taken by someone else so I ended up sitting next to three complete strangers and sobbing.. not great. Didn't get to see Dad until after the service and spent half the time being so terribly polite, and nice, and terribly apologetic for having left my handbag in someone's way... I'm fairly awkward at the best of times and a complete doormat under stress, so most of the congregation probably think I'm a complete nutcase.

Then decided it would be a good idea to go and visit Mum's grave, which I hadn't been to since the funeral. Unfortunately I didn't pay a huge amount of attention to where it was on the day, and as we don't have a headstone yet I ended up wandering aimlessly around the cemetery trying to find somewhere to put the flowers - literally lost the plot. Eventually I couldn't do it any more, left the flowers under a tree and ran. Seems like I can't do a thing right.

Haven't dreamed about Mum for weeks which is a bit upsetting. It's very hard to keep the pregnancy a secret too: where last time it felt pleasantly mysterious it feels really wrong now, as if I'm only telling half the story. Wasn't very patient with DD either. I just hope today gets better.

Oh vlad you poor thing
I think Mothers Day is built up to be a huge event, with reminders everywhere, in every shop, on the radio etc that it's always going to be hard when you have no mum. I was really teary yesterday having been ok for a while. I even had to hold back the tears when we watched a kids film with my dd's!
How many weeks pg are you?

I hope today is better for you xx

Woke to snow here this morning ,but its nearly all gone now although little flakes still falling.Glad yesterday has gone ,but now have to face mums birthday in April.I am so glad that I always made the effort when mum was here.ssd I too get annoyed when I see some posts moaning about their mums and stupid questions like " should I invite my mum to dinner ? we want to spend it alone " etc.I would say spend as much time as you can with her ,she isn't here forever and then you will forever have a huge gap in your life.vlad sorry you couldn't find your mums plot but im sure she knew you had left her flowers somewhere.Your new baby will bring a new life to this thread which will be lovely.This day next week will be our silver wedding anniversary [ we lived together before we got married ] Mum would of been so happy for us.Dont know how we have made it,lots of ups and downs ,but we have !! its a bloody miracle.
Hope those of you who have this awful cough etc are feeling a bit better now.Not going out today because its too cold ,but tomorrow I am going to get my dh a really nice watch as an anniversary gift.