''Even the smallest of footprints have the power to leave an everlasting imprint on the Earth'' Remembering with love our darling children

[Whatevertheweather]

Remembering not only what we have lost but what our darling children have given to us.

A new 'safe haven' thread. Thank you Chip for our last one which filled up in just a month. A sure sign of lots of tears, smiles and wonderful support.

All our children have taught us something whether they were born sleeping, lived just a little while, weeks, months or years. Here are mine:

Never ever take anything for granted, life can change very quickly.
Listen to yourself; your instincts will nearly always be right.
That it is possible to function seemingly normally with a broken heart.
That I have a wonderful relationship that can withstand the hardest of times.
That love and support can come from the most unexpected sources.
That I have a lot of very lovely friends, new and old.
That my family is amazing.
That no matter what it is impossible not to smile and laugh with my beautiful Katie around.
That a rainbow can provide hope in the darkest of times.
That there will be good days and bad days
That I love my children more than I ever thought possible.

For all our darling children xxx

Hello all. Sorry to cut across the conversations here, but just need to vent... we have been waiting for a second report from the hospital since February, spoke again about it in April and was told it was ready for our input, have heard nothing, then I rang today and have been told that it had to be approved by the medical director before it could be sent out to us, and there are still some changes to be made before this can happen. I am fuming. The idea was that we were supposed to be *involved" in the creation of this analysis report. That was agreed. I am especially furious because it will undoubtedly be used by the hospital as 'fact' in Mia's inquest, and the first report we have had from them has significant mistakes, which is being used as source data by the experts looking at Mia's case. We need to see this second report in case a similar thing happens - there were important procedural failings which impacted on the timing of when Mia was treated, and we have to make sure that they are acknowledged, with actions which actually fix the problem. It is so frustrating to see how bureaucracy can be used as a stonewalling technique, but we will not give up. We want the truth for Mia, no matter what.

Miasmummy (((hugs))) Of course you want the truth for Mia, I know you have the determination, strength & endless for Mia, to not give up. I hate all bureaucracy, I hate that people are reduced to 'reports', 'figures' and 'statistics', when they are loved ones xx

Miasmummy thinking about you all. So sorry you have to contend with this on top of your loss. I can't imagine how hard it must be, Mia is lucky to have a mummy who loves her so much. Sending you strength and sunshine.

@frasersmummy

everlong

i re-read my post and it did sound like I had you all under surveillance .... lol all I meant was rather than bitching and doing nothing I took my thoughts to mntowers.. the right think to do...

and from the answers I got they are on the ball re monitoring stuff and dealing with problems.. not on here in particular on the site as a whole
If I offended or upset then I am sorry ..

Hello all. We just wanted to pop on to add to frasersmummy's post, as we wouldn't want anyone to misinterpret what she was saying.

We're well aware that there is, unfortunately, some history of posters on the Bereavement boards being 'taken in' by other posters who weren't all they seemed.

And we're also aware that this does mean that there is, understandably, from time to time, a need for some posters to come to us to seek some reassurances that this isn't happening again.

We have been asked for those reassurances lately and have been more than happy to give them. We've also been mailed by others who've got wind that we've been asked for reassurances, iyswim - which we think is what frasersmummy was alluding to.

For the record, we have no reason to think anyone currently posting on this thread is anything other than utterly genuine.

Thank you Helen , I think we all needed to hear that .

I have how is everyone doing tonight x

TW I am at the . I so, so long for an alcoholic beverage :) how are you? xx

I was in panic last night (as some know) due to eating some salmon that I believe was less than fresh. My mum (stupidly) told me that being sick may make me feel better. Thing is I used to throw up regularly, until 12 years ago, and damaged my throat, last night it bled again. I was sick when in labour with Tamsin, and bled then (so I glad I didn't suffer morning sickness badly), so I think a trip to the doctor is in order.

I shared a lovely poem, about ongoing grief, that I got from a page on Facebook, I would love to post it here, but not sure if I'm allowed to

Why do you think you are not able to ? We love a poem here .

Sorry about the sick thing , that must be a worry for you , and yes to getting checked out x

I am ok today thanks , bit of a wobble yesterday but back to normal (whatever the hell that is) today .

Hows you ? I am torn between praying for rain so the street party is cancelled and hoping for sunshine so we can have a good time .

seeing as you asked tw I am doing rubbish ..dh is going to be in hosp till at least monday.. one of our rabbits is sick and the vet says it may or may not recover .. result one very emotional and teary boy...its draining being positive for him when all I want to do is hide under my duvet ..still I have now..

Tami I am sorry you are not feeling well.. you can only post a poem if it rhymes and its in stantions and if 6 people agree .... of course you can post it ya loon ..

What a Grieving Mother Really Feels....

Hello old friend, Oh yes you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please, don?t look away
And change the subject, It?s ok.

You see at first I couldn?t feel,
It took so long, but now it?s real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk, come sit with me?

You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, ?My, she is so strong.?
They did not know I couldn?t feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.

But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me.. My child! My child!
The horror of reality.

But everyone has moved on, you see,
Everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.

My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.

?But I thought you were over it,?
Their eyes seem to say--
No, no, I can?t listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, ?Oh, I?m ok?.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.

And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All I?ve just said to you in my heart.

This was courtesy of Sweet Dreams Our Angels, on Facebook (which is why I asked )

I think this says everything I (and I'm sure lots of you) have felt xx

We have no street parties around here - not sure if that's good or not. I used to live in a place which was very overlooked, and hated it.

I wasn't sure if you could post other peoples poems, but I've credited the place I copied it from xx

Evening all,

Oh, fm you poor love, you are going through it. Hope your husband is ok, and the rabbit feels better soon. x

Mias, it must be so frustrating to have to fight just to get answers and some kind of resolution. Sending you strength and peace. x

Took my sister out driving earlier, as she is learning. Scared myself silly so popped in to the shops on the way home and got a couple of ready mixed cocktails! Chin chin!

God - I have got some news actually. My DS has got his own place, but the tenancy starts Monday, which means that it's going to be a rush job, getting him all the furniture etc. I watched Bliss's birthday tribute to Jason Donovan this morning, and "Sealed With A Kiss" reminds me so much of DS, when he was younger than DD1, and I used to play it (it was a few years old then, but I had precious few albums). I cried... stupid. Sometimes I wish I could go back, back to when it was just me & him, him as my little baby. Of course I want DD1 (and Tamsin, but alive), but I never had this pain then. Him having his own place, kind of signifies him being properly grown up. It was just me & him for 18yrs, I still miss that life, I guess that sounds really, really stupid, but I have so many happy memories of him growing up

FM - sorry that everything is not going great for you - I hope it soon improves. Sometimes it seems that it is one thing after another doesn't it? Thinking about you xxx

I love that poem .

I am a wee bit tipsy and feeling a bit down still , I am so tired of feeling like this , I KNOW I will be ok but I would like to go to sleep and wake up feeling better please .

TW (((hugs))) As you said - you will feel better again, then I guess have down times again, I hope you do feel better tomorrow. Take it easy tonight xx

How you doing everlong ?

Tami, I told you wine would kill the germs!

I know what you mean about going back in time. There's a photo we have of dh, ds3 and ds4 on holiday in Cork when I was pregnant with Sylvie-Rose. There's a much earlier one of me with ds1 and ds2 in our dining room. In both photos everyone is smiling. We were happy, really happy. There are times when I would love to roll the clock back to those times. But then, never to know Sylvie-Rose? That wouldn't do either!

shabs that poem you posted earlier. I wonder if I will ever look back and smile? There was so little of Sylvie-Rose's life and it pains me to think that's all there was. I actually can't imagine looking back and smiling, there seems so little to smile about. Yet I did smile when she was alive. I smiled when I was told I had a little girl, even though I very nearly died having her and she was such a tiny, premature little girl. I smiled when her nurse told me she was feisty. I smiled when she roared her head off having her bath. But I can't imagine now looking back and smiling at the memory of the smile IYKWIM.

Hey everlong!

hey everlong .. glad you havent desserted us ...

TW I find alcohol doesnt always work... unfortunatley...

I have jsut had the most awful screaming match from ross ... I know he is emotional but when he is kicking hitting and throwing I dont feel like being compassionate ...

I know you cant imagine ever looking back with a smile chip...but you will .. I obv dont have memories of fraser like you of sylvie rose but I think back to when he was in my tummy and say things like.. remember when we went to the footie and he jumped about like a maddies for 90 mins and we have a wee smile

I know a lot of people have joined since you lost your dd but its still very early days for you ... you are doing really really well but it will take a while longer before the peace descends and you can find a few memories to smile about

everlong xx

Have broken three glasses tonight, all by accident. Funnily enough, it made me feel a bit better!

MrsY, that reminds me, shortly after Sylvie-Rose died, I really took a strange comfort from going to the bottle-bank and smashing bottles into the containers. It was the only place I had permission to smash things.

As I recall I was the person on this thread who said we shouldn't give the trolls headspace...and we shouldnt talk about them and was told people need to be aware and we should talk about it ...now I shouldnt comment.....perhaps its just better if I don't post...have enough going on with out being in the wring on here too