'The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears' - bereaved parents thread.

[DawnOfTheDeementedDead]

'PLEASE SAY THEIR NAMES'

The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how we're doing. Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Life's slip from frequent recall. There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. Still look. Still ask. Still listen. Thank God for them. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent.

But for us the play will never end. The effects on us are timeless. What can be said, you ask? Please say "their names" to us. Love does not die. Their names are written on our lives. You may feel that they are dead. We feel that they are of the dead and still they live. They ghost-walk our souls, beckoning in future welcome. You say, "They were our children"; we say "They are". Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again. It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us. What they are in spirit stays within us always. They were of our past but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future. Please understand we cannot forget. We would not if we could.

We know that you cannot know, yesterday we were like you. Understand that we dwell in both flesh and spirit. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with them in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost, you cannot feel. What we have gained you may not see. Please say " their names" for they are alive. We will meet them again, although in many ways we've never parted. Their spirits play light songs, appear in sunrises and sunsets. They are real and shadow, they were and they are.

Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again.
They are our children and we love them as we always did.
More each day.

'PLEASE, SAY THEIR NAMES'

In memory of my darling forever-baby Ciaran. I loved you from the moment i saw those two pink lines, and i'll love you til i draw my last breath as a wizened old woman of 103. You taught me what it was to truly love, and although you could only stay such a short time, you made me a better person and my world a better place. I'm so glad to have known you.

Lavendes - ha ha ha ha I am lots of things but clever is not one that springs readily to mind xxxx

Moomin - why dont you ask the hospital to do you some more? Im sure that they will. If they wont just let me know and I will make sure they do xx

Evening all

Sorry you're having a bad week Moomin. It really does come in waves doesn't it. I think it's harder with your other dc's around you all day if they are squabbling because it takes so much energy to grieve for Joseph there's not much left over for anything else.

Hi Chipmonkey I'm still feeling all over the place today, feels like back to square one . It feels so strange to think she had all that cancer inside her all the time she was inside me. I can't explain it but it just feels very very strange .

I desperately want to cuddle her once more and tell her how brave she was fighting for so long and how grateful we were just to meet her. How are you doing today? Is Sylvie-Rose's arbour up now? x

The arbour is up but we have yet to put a little plate on it and grow things around it which was rather the whole point!

I wrote a poem for her, thought I'd share:

The Night Before You Died

The night before you died
I held you in my arms and
You moved your little head from side to side
With eyes so bright and sharp, I wonder now
If it was that you could see
The approaching angels
Who did not take you then
But waited patiently until the morn
When they lifted you gently from my sleeping breast
And lifted you up to the Radiant Light
Who held you in the crook of His arm
And told you you were home.

Oh Chip that is beautiful. Tears streaming down my face. What lovely lovely words for your lovely girl xxxx

Sorry to intrude ladies but a mum here needs your special kind of help only it's not obvious from the title thread.

Morning girls - beautiful poem xxx

Morning shabba!

Morning. Have my anomaly scan this morning, I'm so nervous, leaving in about 10 mins as it's at 8am. x

Morning girls xx

Hope the scan goes really, really well. Sending love xxx

Morning ladies xx

Cheese hope the scan went brilliantly. Let us know when you can. Good that it was nice and early

We're off to visit friends in Nottingham until Sunday. Will be nice to get away for a few days I think

Everything's fine and it looks like a little girl! :o

Ah Cheese yay! I just let out a little whoop for you and K is now looking at me like I'm bonkers . So pleased everything looks well. How do you feel about having another girl? xx

Wonderful news Cheese....just wonderful news xxx

oooh ! yay cheese so happy for you !

whatever enjoy your weekend away! x

Oh Cheese

Whatever have a great time.

It's my birthday Saturday and I just asked the girls did they need to go to Tesco's for anything and DD1 gave me that look and said "mum we have it all under control" so now I'm slightly apprehensive

fab news, Cheese!

GoodAfternoon ladies xx

Congratulations Cheese brilliant news xx

Hope you enjoy your break Whatever xx

Just got home now, had a busy day after the hospital getting clothes and shoes for the dcs, picked up a couple of pink bits for the baby in the hope of being positive :o I'm actually feeling really excited now :o Next scan and appt in 4 weeks now apparently. Going to enjoy this feeling for as long as I can! :o

hey girls

we had a great relaxing holiday.. been busy since we go back

Mum got out of hosp today so touch wood things will get easier for a little while
i know it was 11 page ago (11??? ) but what a beautiful title and first post.. so true Dee.. made me smile and cry all at once

catch up properly very soon

Hi fm always good to hear from you. As a daughter who looked after her Mum I totally understand your position. I know how difficult and stressfull it is, when I was looking after my Mum, when she got too frail and went into care, it took a lot of my time, I didn't have children to care for, but I found the time to sort her life out, if I had childen to care for I don't know how I would have coped. It is so difficult, but I know she would have wanted me to sort out my own close family first xx

morning girls ,chees lovely news of a little girl ,thats brill , and frazersmom glad your mum is doing ok, my mil came out on monday and is doing realy good.
big hugs to everyone elsex

Morning girls.

Good to see you FM xxx

Morning all.

Great news about your scan, Cheese - huge congratulations!

Glad to hear your mums doing ok, FM.

I'm a bit meh today. My mums been dead three years today. We were never particularly close, but i miss her. I miss being able to tell her about the kids, she'd have loved them, she'd have spoilt Brogan rotten, and have loved Tates curls Brennan does remember her, and she doted on him absolutely. I wish she was here singing her nonsensical songs and doing my head in.