Love, like starlight, never dies... Our precious children sparkling in the sky xx

[CazandBelle]

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said ?I?m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all?. ?Oh Small,? said Large. ?Grumpy or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said, ?If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bear or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said ?But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bug or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

?No matter what?? said Small, and smiled, ?What if I was a crocodile?? Large said ?I?d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night?.
?Does love wear out? said Small, ?does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?? ?Oh help,? said Large ?I?m not that clever I just know I?ll love you forever?.

Small said ?but what about when you?re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?? Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright.

?Small look at the stars ? how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies?.

NO MATTER WHAT by Debi Gliori

Missing my beautiful Belle, a year to the day we placed her to bed in her garden. Mummy and Daddy love you, always. To the moon and back xxx

Caz is being induced isn't she? This could take days, but I hope for her sake it doesn't.

Hi Chipmonkey - I'm so so sorry that you have to be here, my lovely. Please know that we are all here to listen to you whenever you are ready.

Ohh... hope all is well for Caz - fingers crossed it won't be too much longer for her.

I go for my anomaly scan tomorrow. Am more than a bit nervous.

Hi Whatever - i'm sorry that you're here as well, so many new faces on this thread this year. So unfair. I'm sorry you're having troublesome dreams, my lovey. I hope you manage to find some peace an get some rest.

{{whatevertheweather}} that sounds like a really hard dream to have experienced. I think dreams can be a blessing and a curse, sometimes they're a comfort, other times they can leave you feeling uneasy.

Please don't apologise for saying how you are feeling on here. Anything can be said here, anything.

Good luck for tomorrow Dee. Deep breath. All will be fine xx

Ahhh whatever so pleased that you found us. About 10 minutes ago I went to post on your thread and didn't know what to say. Dreams like that are so normal - I think that when we dream we play out what is happening in our lives. You will get support and understanding here. Welcome my friend xxxx

Good luck tomorrow Dee - I will be thinking about you xxx

Dee I hope tomorrow goes well, I know what you mean about being nervous, mine is on the 28th of this month and I'm scared too. I hope it all goes well for you, what time is it at?

Whatever hugs. I had lots of dreams about Scarlett at first, but less so now, it's been a year for us in December. They always feel so real though don't they? The dreams. It's really difficult to get them out of your head. Please don't worry about posting though, there's always someone here to listen xx

good you joined us here! you can tell us anything you want! there is always someone to listen and give you a hug!

waw dee 20 week scan already! fingers crossed and a prayer for you that all is well with your little one! do you want to know what you're having?

I so hope little Xander will be here soon caz so deserves his safe arrival and lots of cuddles!

Will be thinking of you tomorrow dee

chip I am sorry you're here too I was so so sorry to hear about Sylvie-Rose

Hows the planning for the move coming?

cheeseandgherkins you must be counting the days down until your 20 week scan. Do you get extra care in this pregnancy?

Thank you for the understanding about the dream. I have been comforting myself that she's at peace and safe but in my dream she was scared and lonely and wanted her mummy

Is there such a thing as a 'log' of everybody's special dates. I'd like to make sure I can light a candle on remember days x

hi whatever... I am sorry that you too have found yourself here ...

do you want to tell us about erin??

Oh Dee I cried all the way through my detailed scan ...hope it goes well

Thanks all. My scans at 9.40am. We will hopefully find out what we're having, but only because if it's another boy then theres a chance that he could develop a related kidney or renal condition to the one that DS1 had, and tbh, not knowing if i need to worry is killing me, iyswim? If we do find out then we're not going to say anything to anyone IRL, but i may be persuaded to tell you lot

WTW There is such a list - give me a moment, and i'll see if i can dig it out.

whatever we're waiting for our references to be checked! very stressful, hopefully we will know within a few days we can move in in December!

Whatever I'm consultant led and this is a high risk pregnancy, that was before they knew about the GD but that just makes it worse! I'll be getting fortnightly scans from about 24/28 weeks I think, need to go over that at my next appointment in 2 and a bit weeks. I've been seen by the consultant every 3 weeks recently but they've told me that will increase.

My consultant is lovely though and she said I can go in to be monitored whenever I feel the need and if I need to go in every day for monitoring later on then I can do. Basically they're more than happy to accommodate my feelings as well as physical needs. I'm far happier there than I was at the previous hospital where I had Scarlett.

The way I look at it is that the people in my family that have already passed are there looking aftter Scarlett for me until we can be there with her. I think of her happy with them and still also being a part of our lives. If that makes any sense.

We do have a dates thread, I'll see if I can find it xx

here is the list of special dates

Thanks Cheese - i couldn't see it for looking.

Cross posted with you there Dee , I hope you get to find out the sex so it could put your mind at rest or at least so you'll know that there is a possibility of something being wrong. I'm keen to find out myself but more for coping reasons. Not sure how well I'll cope if it's another girl as I'm worried about history repeating itself. Other than that I really don't care what sex this baby is as long as it goes right this time. I hope you do share the sex with us! :)

I got four wonderful boys. I must admit that with Matt and Tom (and our Danny to a certain degree) I was panic stricken that they would have the same massive heart problems that Gareth had. The specialist told me that Gareths problems were 'an accident at conception' he reassured me that I didn't have a higher risk than anyone else of having another baby with the same problems. I had Matt checked over and over when he was born and the same with Tom. It is such a worry. Then I had an amnio when I was having Tom. Was told I had a 1 in 180 chance of having a baby with Downs. I needed to know every detail. The same day I got my results and rang the Downs association. Spoke to an amazing Dad who asked why I was so worried - he told me all about how amazing children with Downs are. He was an angel with me - I doubt that I could ever find him again - he was 'on duty' on the helpline that night. No matter what happens tomorrow Dee - I hope you know that I am always in 'your corner' and that all your friends on here are right behind me. All will be well, my dear friend....All WILL be well xxx

Blue the funeral was lovely but practically everyone in the church was crying. It's funny, I have been going round in a numb state of unreality and it has been seeing other people's reactions that have driven it home to me how bad a thing has happened to us. Not that I haven't cried buckets myself
Dh read a beautiful reading and I was so proud of him as he really held it together. Dh's two nieces and my niece also did readings, our boys didn't feel able to.
We didn't have a hearse, dh and the boys and my brother carried her lttle white casket through the village to the cemetery, which is a pretty little cemetery. We got a family plot so eventually she will be buried in between dh and me.

I have two boys and two girls, Scarlett was our first child together and my second daughter. My risk was 1:600 with this baby and that's a lot more than I had with Scarlett. I read that early diagnosis with GD can cause abnormalities so I'm concerned about that too, nothing to do but wait though now. It's out of our hands. shabs that man sounds like he was lovely and just what you needed then xx

chip Numb, that's what I felt at first and denial. I kept thinking it couldn't be real or actually happening. It felt surreal. The funeral sounds like it was beautiful and well done to your dh for doing a reading. Hugs to you. Life isn't fair, not at all. xx

Hello everyone,

I hope you don't mind me popping in to see if there is any news from Caz yet. She has been on my mind all day.

Mmelindt - she posted on Facebook quite a few hours ago - just said as soon as anything was happening she would let everybody know. Im already 'wetting' Xanders head!! LOL xxxx

Sorry spelt your MN name wrong - blame it on the cider apple juice!!

Thank you for the dates thread cheese

chip the funeral sounds beautiful. Well done your dh and nieces for doing a reading for her. My dp carried the casket too, a truly heartbreaking sight. Numb is right. The utter shock and disbelief do take a long time to wear off. Nearly 7 weeks since Erin died and I've lost count of the amount of times I've said 'I just cannot believe it'. I still can't. How are your boys coping? What are their ages?

Going to our first sands meeting tomorrow night. Bit nervous but the co-ordinator seems really nice.

Thank you for the warm welcome to your special haven x

I used to be Lindt, Shabba. Have been wetting Xander's head in advance too. Strange, that I am so nervous abbot the birth of a child I will never meet of a woman I only know as an Internet sprite.

chipmonkey
to see you here but glad that you will have the support. Was so sad to hear of Sylvie-Rose. (hugs) from all the twitter crowd