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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Love, like starlight, never dies... Our precious children sparkling in the sky xx

984 replies

CazandBelle · 28/06/2011 11:13

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said ?I?m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all?. ?Oh Small,? said Large. ?Grumpy or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said, ?If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bear or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said ?But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bug or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

?No matter what?? said Small, and smiled, ?What if I was a crocodile?? Large said ?I?d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night?.
?Does love wear out? said Small, ?does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?? ?Oh help,? said Large ?I?m not that clever I just know I?ll love you forever?.

Small said ?but what about when you?re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?? Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright.

?Small look at the stars ? how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies?.

NO MATTER WHAT by Debi Gliori

Missing my beautiful Belle, a year to the day we placed her to bed in her garden. Mummy and Daddy love you, always. To the moon and back xxx

OP posts:
spilttheteaagain · 10/10/2011 20:21

caz just want to wish to a safe and easy birth tomorrow and we look forward to hearing all about your gorgeous boy. Lots of love xx

shabbs and blue sending hugs to you both. Those poignant reminders can really stab you.

frasersmummy · 10/10/2011 20:25

oh shabs how brave, how sad and how wonderful all at once

I remember the first day I took ross to school.. he bounced all the way along the mile to school and you posted on here to say you bet Fraser was bouncing along the road with us

Lew's uncles would have been on the street corners and at the door of the nursery looking out for their first nephew...

one problem... how can lewis be 3??? it seems like no time since we celbrated his arrival

Caz we are praying for a happpy and safe outcome...here's hoping its a quick labor and we can celebrate his safe arrival tomorrow

tinkerbell there is nothing I can say to make it easier but I have been exactly where you are are... its so bloody hard ...The lonliest words in the world are "if only" I am sending you a huge hug tonight

shabbapinkfrog · 10/10/2011 20:55

Smile thank you FM - never thought of it like that. Oh they would think he was fantastic. He is so very full of life...loves a good argument...loves singing and dancing. I can hardly believe he is 3 - cant believe that he has been coming here every day since he was about 9 months old. Oh it has been a day and a half xxxx

Bluetinkerbell · 10/10/2011 21:24

thanks ladies! means a lot! x

Caz praying for you! x

CheeseandGherkins · 10/10/2011 21:26

Shabs sounds like a difficult journey you made and very much nostalgic, it must have really taken you back. You're so brave, you really are. xx

fm so pleased that your mum is stable and dh is home, I hope you get to enjoy your weekend away. Isolation, roaring fires, books and wine sounds perfect :) xx

caz thinking of you for tomorrow and praying everything goes smoothly xx

blue hugs, seems to be a lot of anniversaries around this time :( I'm struggling with babies again oddly, I was ok for a little while but keep seeing newborns and just can't look at them. xx

shabbapinkfrog · 11/10/2011 06:51

Morning girls xx

Waiting for news from Caz Smile xx

Bluetinkerbell · 11/10/2011 07:53

Think we will have to keep each other busy today Shabbs going to be a long day waiting for news!

Northernlurker · 11/10/2011 08:32

Ladies - just popping in to wish Caz all the best for today. I've been following her blog and she and Jon and precious, precious Alexander are in my prayers today.

shabbapinkfrog · 11/10/2011 08:34

Hiya Northern - good to see you xx

Just been showing my grandson pictures of Caz - he said 'she has got a very beautiful tummy full of a baby!!' LOL xx

CheeseandGherkins · 11/10/2011 09:51

Morning

lavandes · 11/10/2011 15:12

Hi ladies xx

Yesterday must have been so hard for you shabs I fear there is no end to grief, it does hide away for a while then comes at you like a hurricane. Hope today was a little easier xx

I had a complete meltdown last week. I needed to find a letter from the charity I collected for on my birthday. It was in Richard's box with all the cards and paperwork, (funeral, death cert etc), his chef hats, a teddy that we put in the coffin but his son said he wanted to keep it. Looking at all this stuff was so unreal IYSWIM. I felt sick for the rest of the evening, I couldn't eat dinner. I just crumbled. Days like that throw me back to the beginning and I go through it all in my mind, every detail. BUT the next day I could function again. I suppose this is the way life will be now, many ups and downs.

I am waiting to hear caz hope all is well , reading the posts we are all with you xxx

Minione · 11/10/2011 15:14

Hi Ladies

Just a quick hi, congrats to Shelley and good luck to Caz; anyone got an update on her yet?

I'll try to catch up properly but having a small baby is hard work!!! Ruairi is 3 weeks old today, he's crying to be fed so i'd better go! Love to you all xxx

lavandes · 11/10/2011 15:19

Hi mini so glad you and baby Ruairi are ok, I bet he is gorgeous xx

Bluetinkerbell · 11/10/2011 15:38

nope no update on Caz yet... I keep checking FB frantically Grin

chipmonkey · 11/10/2011 16:37

Never thought I would be joining you ladies.Sad My baby girl died last week. She was born at 28 weeks but was doing very well, never really needed help with breathing, was gaining weight, and had been released from hospital. Four days later, she died in bed beside me. She had not been in our bed all night, I had just snuggled her in for a breastfeed, she fed for a few minutes, I nodded off and when dh woke me, she had died. I tried CPR, called an ambulance, but her heart was only re-started when we got to A+E which was forty minutes after she had stopped breathing. I knew it was too late, even as we were blue-lighted to hospital.
I am full of what-ifs. What if they had kept her in hospital for a few more days, what if I had gone down to get a bottle instead of bfing her, but none of it matters now, nothing will bring her back.
She lived for 49 days.

Bluetinkerbell · 11/10/2011 16:49

ooooh chip so sorry you had to join us here! big hugs for you! I know Sylvie-Rose was so very loved by you and all your family!
how was the funeral?
xxx

CheeseandGherkins · 11/10/2011 16:53

chip I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl :( The early days are very difficult, do whatever you need to to get by and get through each day. An hour at a time is often said and it's true. Be kind to yourself and talk as much as you need to. Everyone here is very supportive xxx

janedoe25 · 11/10/2011 16:59

Just popping on to chensk for any caz u pdates.

chip I am so sorry you are joining us. Please don't beat yourself up with the what ifs, you were not to know the unthinkable could happen. Sylvie-Rose is a beautiful name, and I'm very sure she knew she was loved for every second of her 49 days and her 28 weeks snuggled inside you. If you need to talk, scream or rant we are here. Take of yourself, my thoughts are with you and your family. xxx

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 11/10/2011 19:28

Just popping in to say Caz thinking of you and hoping that Xander will be in your arms safe and well soon

frasersmummy · 11/10/2011 19:38

hurry up caz.... i want to toast xander's safe arrival .. Grin

frasersmummy · 11/10/2011 19:42

aww chip as we always say on here.. we are glad you came to join us but sorry you have to find your way here

its very early days .. please take time to aknowledge your grief and do whatever it takes to get through ..

please make yourself comfortable here and post whatever and whenever you like .. we all truly understand.

sending you and your family lots of love tonight....

shabbapinkfrog · 11/10/2011 19:43

She just posted on FBook!!! No news yet.

OMG I am a classy bird!!!! xxx

shabbapinkfrog · 11/10/2011 19:46

Chip - Glad you found us - so sorry to hear about your litle girl xx You will find support, understanding and love here. Nobody will judge - no matter how crazy you feel your words and emotions are. xx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 11/10/2011 20:32

Welcome to our haven chip monkey. I'm so sorry to hear about your darling daughter. It's just so bloody unfair isn't it?

Please come and chat about anything and everything. Nothing is taboo here, and at least one of us has experienced the emotions you have, no matter how dark or light hearted, or seemingly inappropriate.

Whatevertheweather · 11/10/2011 20:33

Ladies I wonder if I could join you too. Been lurking for a few days but not brave enough to post. Feeling a bit out of sorts today had a horrid dream last night that Erin was crying and asking me to go with her. She couldn't understand why we both stayed with Katie and neither of us went with her Sad Its left me feeling very uncomfortable. I hope you don't mind me posting that. I can't tell dp and needed to get it out of my head.

Caz another one wishing you lots of luck with your labour x