Love, like starlight, never dies... Our precious children sparkling in the sky xx

[CazandBelle]

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said ?I?m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all?. ?Oh Small,? said Large. ?Grumpy or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said, ?If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bear or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said ?But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bug or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

?No matter what?? said Small, and smiled, ?What if I was a crocodile?? Large said ?I?d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night?.
?Does love wear out? said Small, ?does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?? ?Oh help,? said Large ?I?m not that clever I just know I?ll love you forever?.

Small said ?but what about when you?re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?? Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright.

?Small look at the stars ? how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies?.

NO MATTER WHAT by Debi Gliori

Missing my beautiful Belle, a year to the day we placed her to bed in her garden. Mummy and Daddy love you, always. To the moon and back xxx

Morning ladies xx

Congratulations everlong how wonderful for you to see your baby grandson being born. Our new grandson is 3 weeks old now. I love being a granny. xxx

Fantastic news, everlong - huge congratulations. Are mum and baby both ok? Oh and Dad and Granny(!) too?

Shabbs - sorry to hear you've been in a flunk my lovely - i thought you'd been quiet. Hope you're ok, and if you ever need someone to natter to, you know where i am x

Thank you Dee - much appreciated xx

Awwww Everlong - you can be a grandson 'bore' all you want for me xxxx

Just popping into say hi. Sorry I'm quiet. Not enough hours in the day to keep up with everything. Still going for daily checks and with trying to prepare the house for baby as well I'm feeling pretty tired. Everything plodding along, I'm still having constant tightenings and hospital say they won't be surprised if I go into labour before induction day. I'm not convinced I will though... surely if something was going to happen it would've happened on its own by now!?

I'm not sure how I'm feeling at the moment but I'm finding lots of the baby preparation hard. But maybe not as hard as I thought I was going to. Had a cry when the nursery was turned blue, but it looks as lovely blue as it did pink and now I'm quite anxious to make it lovely for Xander before he's born. Everything going on is so bittersweet - I'm daring to believe everything is going to be ok as we get closer, but at the same time I'm terrified he'll be taken away at the last moment, and hurting so much for Belle. I'm feeling so guilty every time I get excited that I might bring him home, like somehow I'm betraying her. Find myself crying for her a lot the last couple of days. I wish I could have them both.

You will always be your little ladys Mummy my friend.....always, forever and ever. Sadly she is not physically here.....she is all around you and her daddy and her little brother. I don't know why things have to be like this and I really wish they didn't have to. Sending you all our love and hugs xxxx

Many congratulations on becoming a granny Everlong. What a lovely tribute to your precious boy.

{{Caz}} the weeks and days before a baby is due can be very emotional anyway, irrespective of being a bereaved mum. But add having lost a child into the mix and everything can just become overwhelming - so many conflicting emotions. Just keep talking and/or writing and you will get through these last few days, don't bottle anything up. If it's what you feel, it's what you feel.

I still look at my boys and think about how their eldest brother should be sat there alongside of them. I don't think the longing ever goes tbh. But having M and I does help, it keeps me from dwelling for too long.

Morning girls xx

congratulations everlong. What a lovely name and of course being named after his uncle is a fabulous tribute.

Morning girls xx

Morning Shabbs. How are you doing today, my lovely?

Morning love. xx Not too bad - think that seeing the delicious Robbie Williams on X Factor last night cheered me up no end Oooohhh I could flatten some grass with him xx

I'm afraid he doesn't do it for me, but that means all the more for you!!!

Oh Dee - he is going better as he gets older....he is the lad that your Mum warned you about!!! I reckon he would maul up my vest on the first date

Nah, Manshapes the lad my mum warned me about. She actually threatened him with my brothers - all five of them - to keep him away from me.... didn't work though!!

FIVE brothers - oh WOW - thats amazing xx

Nah, i've got four sisters as well. Chrstmas is a nightmare....

haha dee that's why you are so active on the homemade Christmas thread I understand now

My secret is out....

There's 10 of you???? OMG!!!! Must be something in that Welsh water My DH is one of 7 and his Dad (from Bedwelty) was one of 14. YES FOURTEEN, boys!!! Ha ha ha ha - remind me not to drink any of the water if I ever get to Wales again!!

Fourteen boys

Do you enjoy having so many siblings Dee? There is just me and my sister and I always wanted a brother as well. Not to say my sister is lacking, she's my best friend and I love her to bits.

Shabbs - we're not Welsh, i only live here! We're a bit of a mix - some were born abroad when dad was in the Army, some in London and the rest of us, including me, are Lancashire - Rossendale - born and bread. If i said my mother was a devout Irish Catholic, would it help explain it? She's one of eleven herself, and none of her siblings had less than seven children. Family gatherings are quite a sight to behold!

Do i enjoy having so many siblings? I don't really know any different - I'm the youngest and theres fourteen years between me and the next sibling - my sister. I'm close to her, and another sister and a brother who live in Oz, but the rest i don't have much contact with. My eldest brother is 23 years older then me, he was married with children when i was born and i can honestly say i have nothing in common with him at all.

Its been a day full of crying. Went to Belle's garden and sobbed like I haven't sobbed in so long there. Probably that last time we'll be there before Xander was born. Feeling entirely mixed up; fear stood there again that the grave will need to be reopened, we're on the final stretch but its still not quite in reach, hoping next time we're there he'll be sat there in his car seat, feeling guilty being hopeful/excited for Xander, and hurting that Belle may be the only little girl I ever got the chance to have and she was taken away, then feeling guilty because we absolutely cannot wait to do the whole boy thing either.

Nursery is coming along though, and I'm actually feeling so much better about it than I ever thought I would. Anabelle has her little place in there. We have angel wings on the wall.

dee that is an amazing amount of siblings!!! How are things going along with you?!

Caz big hugs for you! you are doing so well hanging in there! 9 more days!
I absolutely love love love Xander's room! Seeing 'Love like starlight never dies' on the wall in those pretty curly letters actually brought tears to my eyes! I would love that on our future baby's bedroom wall!