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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Love, like starlight, never dies... Our precious children sparkling in the sky xx

984 replies

CazandBelle · 28/06/2011 11:13

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said ?I?m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all?. ?Oh Small,? said Large. ?Grumpy or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said, ?If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bear or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said ?But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bug or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

?No matter what?? said Small, and smiled, ?What if I was a crocodile?? Large said ?I?d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night?.
?Does love wear out? said Small, ?does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?? ?Oh help,? said Large ?I?m not that clever I just know I?ll love you forever?.

Small said ?but what about when you?re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?? Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright.

?Small look at the stars ? how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies?.

NO MATTER WHAT by Debi Gliori

Missing my beautiful Belle, a year to the day we placed her to bed in her garden. Mummy and Daddy love you, always. To the moon and back xxx

OP posts:
bemybebe · 01/09/2011 21:16

Thank you gingegirl and sorry for hijack. It was a very emotional day for us here. Tomorrow will be different.

frasersmummy · 01/09/2011 21:26

our precious dates

for the newer mums amongst us.. this is a list of special dates ..please feel free to add your little ones details so we can remember together

How are you coping with a week to ciaran's b/day Dee... its such a hard time .. we are here

shabbapinkfrog · 01/09/2011 22:29

Thanks for putting our dates on my friend...I was just thinking we should put them on again - you must have read my mind xxx

CheeseandGherkins · 01/09/2011 23:38

Thanks for putting the link. I'm not looking forward to December but am in a way as that's her birthday, if that makes any sense at all.

Walk before helped a bit, fresh air and sun plus the kids and dog; did me good. I feel so on edge and irritable now, and tired but I don't want to sleep. I'll try shortly though. I just know what to do or think right now.

Writing things down here helps, it's hard in real life to talk to people, easier online to just get everything out of my head. I ramble far too much though I know that, but it helps so I suppose it's not a bad thing sometimes.

Hope others are having a more peaceful time xx

shabbapinkfrog · 02/09/2011 06:39

Morning girls xx

shabbapinkfrog · 02/09/2011 09:23

Have put a new picture of Lew on my profile - it just made me burst out laughing when I saw it. He was waiting for his dinner on holiday and was starting to get worried about just how long it was taking!!

CheeseandGherkins · 02/09/2011 10:59

Oh Shabs how adorable! :) he looks so cute xx

I realised last night I know whyI might be feeling so bad now, 9 months today since our darling Scarlett died. I realised a week or so ago and then didn't actually realise until last night. Going to take her some flowers later and light a candle for her xx

shabbapinkfrog · 02/09/2011 11:10

Will light our candle as well xxx

frasersmummy · 02/09/2011 17:01

Cheese .. you dont ramble... well not any more than I do !! Wink

YOu can say what you like when you like on here..it truly is a lovely corner of mn

keep posting .. we are all here to help...

Great minds think alike shabs

shabbapinkfrog · 03/09/2011 09:20

Morning girls xx

deemented · 03/09/2011 09:29

Oh Shabbs - that photo of Lew is just fantastic!! Bless him - did he get his dinner in the end?

I'm feeling a bit calmer now, not as... manic? I'm feeling a bit more resigned. The boys birthdays are going to come, and no matter, i can't stop it. I will feel awful in the days running up to it, the day before being particularly bad, but then on that day, the world won't stop turning, it will carry on as normal and i'll plaster that smile on my face and at the end of it i'll have got through another birthday. It will be... ok.

Now, how many times do you think i have to tell myself that before i'm convinced?

Sending much much love to those who need it x

shabbapinkfrog · 03/09/2011 09:56

His Daddy had made lasagna and he decided he didn't like the meaty bits so his Mum was trying to take them off LOL - the things you do for your first born!! He said 'it were lovely when Mummy took the chewy bits off' LOL

You can have a borrow of my stick on smile if you want Dee - just give me a shout xxxx

frasersmummy · 03/09/2011 22:29

what a day ..we went to see kung fu panda 2 , went for pizza and then went back to the cinema for harry potter

Just when I was about to have a glass of wine the phone rings and its my dad ...mum is really unwell can you come and pick us up in town

Turns out really unwell is rather an understatement.. I find her white, slumped not moving in her wheelchair, barely breathing... cue me calling 999 .

Doctor at a&e was so worried we got taken into a room and asked how much medical intervention we wanted... ehhh as much as you can do thanks for asking. We thought as this point she was dying.

They arent sure but it looks like she may have had a really bad reaction to a change in medication.. she has been prescribed morphine which has affected her breathing.

They have given her something to counter act the morphine and she seems to have rallied at moment ...

I feel like I have been through the mill tonight

CheeseandGherkins · 03/09/2011 22:54

fm (hugs), sounds like you need them after today, what a shock! Hope your mum is feeling a bit better now and that you're ok. Must have been so worried.

dee hugs, glad you're a bit calmer now.

Had to take dh to a&e earlier, sat for 5 hours waiting for blood results, as he thought he had another dvt. Turned out his ITP has come back as his platelet levels are really low.

He's at high risk of spontaneous intercranial bleeding apparently :( gave him some tablets to try and help and he's being called about an appointment to see a specialist in a week, so they said. He hasn't had it for 9 years, in fact he's had the opposite and had a few dvts and a pulmonary embolism.

Always something going wrong. Got home and found I'd spotted a bit too, none since so have to see how that goes but hoping for no more.

shabbapinkfrog · 04/09/2011 08:41

Morning girls xx

FM that sounds so scary. I hope your Mum is soon much better. My Mum has got Alzheimers......they have put her on some fantastic tablets that seem, for now, to have slowed down the progression of this revolting illness. When I see her I stay upbeat and we laugh at the illness BUT it keeps making me cry like a baby. Sad

CheeseandGherkins · 04/09/2011 10:20

Morning, looks like we're back to a&e shortly, just waiting for dh. He's had some bleeding so need to see what they want to do :(

frasersmummy · 04/09/2011 12:07

oh god cheese ... we will keep you in our prayers

I haqv spoken to the hopsital this morning and they say mum is still breathless despite being on high oxygen and they are monitoring her closely.. am really worried.. will probs feel better when I see her at visiting

Didnt know your mum has alzheimers shabs ..thats just awful.. why is life so shit girls

shabbapinkfrog · 04/09/2011 13:04

Hope everything improves quickly for you two ladies.

They tested my Mum for everything possible a few months ago. I kind of thought thats what was wrong.....every woman on my Mums side of the family (except for her Mum) has had the horrible bloody illness. A few weeks ago the Doctor said, really bluntly, that she had it. We joke about it and try to make light of it......BUT....she used to ring me almost every day and ask how we all were. Now she either doesn't ring or rings 20 times. She is just a superb Mum, she puts everybody before herself and has been through so much crap. She has never recovered from the loss of my sons. She still sobs when she talks about them. Life is totally shite.

CheeseandGherkins · 04/09/2011 19:56

Quick update on dh. Just got home and knackered. We started in a&e and then moved to a ward. They wanted to keep him in because of the bleeding and his platelet levels had dropped again. They're 11 now :( He just refused to stay in so, if any bleeding overnight all 999 basically overwise we have to call in the morning to see if there's a bed and go in again.

He had a cannula put in for ease of blood taking earlier but that's out now. The haematologist will be seeing him tomorrow to discuss what to do and more bloods taken to see how he's responding to the medicines. His steroid dose was upped and he now has to take 32 of those a day along with transexmic acid (sp) to try and stop the bleeding which he was started on today.

Hoping his levels go up and that he won't need a transfusion. So worried now, he's so stubborn :( My mum's been great and been looking after the dcs while we were out and will be again tomorrow. School starts on Tues. I'm supposed to be going in on Tues morning myself to see a diabetic nurse and a nuchal scan in London on Wednesday, have to see about that now!

No more spotting though touch wood.

frasersmummy · 04/09/2011 20:53

oh cheese .. you have soo much going on ...I know its easy for me to say but try to amke time to rest and look after you and baby!

We will keep you in our prayers

Mum is a lot better tonight and they are talking about discharging her tomorrow... 24 hours ago they were talking life support....

I feel like I have been throught the wringer this weekend

shabbapinkfrog · 05/09/2011 06:54

Morning girls xx

CheeseandGherkins · 05/09/2011 20:40

Good news re dh, platelets went up to 16 and he had a leg and spleen scan which was clear so he was allowed home with more meds and to go back Friday for more bloods and next Tuesday clinic. Just has to go back if he bleeds again. So relieved! Been there all day though and knackered again.

fm hope your mum was discharged today and is feeling better. Hope you're coping too xx

shabbapinkfrog · 05/09/2011 21:13

Great news Cheese - hope the improvement continues xx

shabbapinkfrog · 06/09/2011 06:42

Morning girls xx

shabbapinkfrog · 06/09/2011 19:17

Very quiet on here ladies...hope that means that everybody is doing OK. Tom really enjoyed his first day in year 10....came home with a big beaming smile showing me his timetable with, as he put it 'All my favourite stuff on!!' x There's a lot to be said for 'options' x

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