Precious memories of all our beloved children, gone too soon but they will live on forever in our hearts

[lavandes]

For our beloved Richard, missed so much xx

Thank you my friend. xx

you are welcome shabs you are the 'best' virtual friend to so many of us xx

Morning girls xx

Thinking of you and your friend today, Shabba. I hope the brighter days bring a little light for you both x

Hi Everyone

Shabs - how are you? Hope you are feeling ok today and thinking of your friend too x

Feeling OK today thanks everybody.

Just seems such a sad waste of yet another precious life. Vicky struggled all through her short life with her spina bifida. She walked for a while with the aid of a frame. BUT believe me when I say she really, really lived life to the full She was a little devil!!! xxx

Afternoon everyone x
shabs have another hug, been thinking of you, vicky and your friend.
Been for another daffodil hunt today... Loads more through the ground today and looks like a few of the snowdrops have come up too.
I've been feeling like a bit of a hermit lately but have stopped wasting energy wonderin if I am 'alright' or 'normal' .... It is what it is... I have a lot to be thankful for but sometimes it feels so difficult... Another group hug anyone? Xx

Yes please!! I think that is a good way of looking at things my friend xx

Yes please I need a hug xx

Morning ladies xx

Morning girls xx

Morning ladies.

Saw DP's mum the other night and she has been talking to friends mum a lot and can see so much how its getting to her. She has something positive to look forward to which i know she is but its the here and now im worried about. I suggessted to DP and DB that we all chip in for flowers for our friends funeral. DP's mum asked me about it the other night she wants to chip in too so we can get something lovely and fitting. Also came up with a great idea for it. I've been nominated to arrange it which i dont mind.. just worried ill get upset on the phone. I'm a bit of a mess atm but othing new there really lol

Morning all x

lavandes you ok ?

Shelley Good luck arranging the flowers , it is a lovely thing to do x

Thanks TW. I know exactly what we all want. It fits our friend so well. I don't know why I didn't think of it considering it is what IM going to get as a tattoo in his memory along with db and dp.. only mine has to wait now instead of us getting it all together.

Hi tw I'm up and down at the moment. Just all these 'firsts' coming up. Our wedding anniversary next week. The last 3 were spent with Richard who cooked special meals. We don't really know what to do. May ask our friends to go for a meal with us. It sounds so petty when you write it down but these things are upsetting. Our grandchildren are coming for a few days later in the week that will give us a much needed boost. Are you ok?

Not too bad thanks Lavandes , all the firsts are so hard , it is certainly not petty , even now if I go somewhere I haven't been since Harry died I find it difficult .

Having the grandchildren around will be good , have you got anything planned ? I am trying to fill in half term , just been to the woods and now looking at what to do the rest of the week .
All good fun but mostly expensive unfortunately .

They are happy just to go to the park and play football. All the parks in our area have been refurbished, lottery funding, so they are brilliant. It all depends on the weather it is pouring down today. We'll probably go swimming aswell, if I can fit into my swimsuit!!

Mine are happy with the park as well , but I get cold and bored

Hi all.

I know what you mean about the park. I love the idea of it and ds loves them, but the getting cold and bored is a problem. I'm also not too quick on my feet at the moment and I swear the little blighter knows it!

I had my 30 week check with the MW today and all is going well

Hey Ladies

Hope you don't mind me joining - i was directed this way after starting another thread here.
DS2 was stillborn three years ago at christmas and I feel my body and mind are now telling me that I have to deal with it all . Dreaming alot about DS2 and just feel exhausted just now!

Sometimes its just good to talk without having to actually say anything!

Welcome to our safe haven thread Vondo....Im glad you found us but very sad we had to meet here. So sorry to hear about your precious little man.

This is, I think, the only thread on MN where you will not be judged - we all say what we think and there is always at least one of us who will say 'OMG thats just how I felt.'

We have lost precious children of all ages and under many different circumstances. We all support each other...United we stand, divided we fall xxx

Hi Vondo, just want to second Shab's words and please come and chat, rant and cry anytime. My son was stillborn last June, he was my first child. Each day is different but I will never be the same again.

Thanks folks!

I do feel different, I feel harder or guarded and definately more protective over DS3 than I ever was with DS1.

I think its the dreams that are having such effect on me. Dreaming of the birth and funeral and all the emotions that go with that is draining. It can be like reliving it each night! It really is hard going sometimes

Hi vondo

I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy.

My little girl, Belle, was born sleeping in June of last year. She was my first baby. I think although we all grieve and cope differently are all the same in the fact we know we shall never be who we once used to be.

I am glad to hear about DS3, I always find a baby after loss gives me a little bit of hope and belief that it could happen for us too. My biggest thing at the moment is finding it so hard to believe I will ever get a take home baby.

I'm glad you have found our thread and I hope you find it comforting here and somewhere where you can let it all out. We would love to hear more about DS2 if/when you feel able.

Sorry I've been awol a bit lately ladies, I'm just finding everything in life such an effort. 8 months today since Belle was born, the 21st of each month never seems to get any easier, and I'm racked with guilt that Feb is nearly over and like January we've not been to see Belle all month. Something has changed since the new year, but I can't quite put my finger on what.

Also half way through another 2ww, a week to go until testing day/af due. TTC is so much harder than it ever was with Belle. How on earth I'm going to keep my sanity in check by the time we actually get pregnant or to the end of another pregnancy I don't know.

ilike glad to hear your 30 weeks check went well.

Hello, thought it was about time I came here, my daughter was stillborn at 37 weeks in December, have a thread from then still going and I still can't read it all through again yet. I start to read it and I cry. I'm so glad I had people at the time supporting, I needed it then so much, but reading it now is hard. The recent posts are fine just reading about me and what I said and was going through then just hurts so much and I relive it.

I hvae 3 dcs, our daughter was our only together. We're trying again now, but no luck yet, first period sunday and feel awful. I know it's late, I was bad for a time, then ok with sleeping and eating but now I seem to be reverting to the lack of sleeping and eating again.