Precious memories of all our beloved children, gone too soon but they will live on forever in our hearts

[lavandes]

For our beloved Richard, missed so much xx

Everlong my lads will remain 7 months and 7 years forever - you didn't cause trouble. Can you imagine our older lads and girls - bet they are like 'mother hens' fussing over the little 'uns.

Went to my friends last night - her lovely SIL was there. SIL has a real gift for mediumship - not sure if that is even a word but you know what I mean!!! She started asking me about Matty and she even talked like him when she was giving me the messages he was sending. She said that he was a real joker and was very happy and smiley (she never met him) and she said that he comes to collect me every time I go to my friends. It was so amazing.

I just sat there with my mouth wide open. She said that she had 'seen' him before and every time she sees him he has a duster over a toy and he wont let her see it LOL. My brother bought him a beautiful red Ferrari model car on a plinth. Matty always kept it covered with a duster. We put it in his coffin WITH the duster over it.

Wow Shabs that is lovely / scary / weird all at the same time
How is the head ?

Not great!!!!

I remember Chelle kicking me out of hers at about 3am we had been dancing and singing along to Robbie Williams greatest hits album and then, for no reason whatsoever, we did a few renditions of the dance that goes with Zorba the Greek I love my mate Chelle - she is wonderful! x

She sounds fab

That sounds like my idea of a great Saturday night

Hi ladies, hope you are all ok. Could someone please add Malachy to the list? His birthday/remember day is 12th June and his funeral is the 24th. Thanks x

Sounds like you had a good night, Shab, and the message your mate's SIL gave you must have sent shivers down your spine (but in a good way, I'd imagine)

Oh shit poo - our Lew is throwing up - even water. DS and DIL have taken him to the emergency doctor. He said if Lew is still the same in an hour (around now) they have to take him straight to A & E - poor little fella.

Oh Shabs - your post has just sent chills to me for all the wrong reasons - i really hope he is ok. I am glad your mum is out of hospital.

Edgar - your plans sound lovely. i must admit me and iggle piggle have issues!! I will be thinking about you and your family on Wednesday.

Took DS1 out and treated him to a brand new bike today - felt lovely to be able to treat him - he was soooo excited. Wish I could bottle that energy and drip feed it when i'm low

Feeling much better today, thank you for your support ystrday - means a lot to me xx

Pls add: Allan Martin James, Dec 24.
It has really hit me this past week that he would have been 3 months old. It hurts so much & no-one else (inc lovely DH) seems to quite 'get' how much I'm struggling with that. How come our babies leave a grown-up sized hole in our lives?
It's hard to grieve as DD gets v.upset if she sees me remotely upset - I know how lucky I am to have her, and she finds it tough too, she was so looking forward to being a big sis. Extended families are not being helpful & I'm finding it hard not being bitter about that, eg continuing to be civil.

could you also add Sian to the list, died 25th August 2010, birthday 7th February 1986, funeral 4th September 2010. Thanks in anticipation. Why does it always look so unreal written down like that?:(

Sorry to see new people here, but glad you found us - welcome.

Hope your mum & Lew are ok, Shabs - I'll be thinking of you.

My DS isn't on the list, but that's deliberate. I hope no-one minds - it doesn't mean I don't think of your lovely children & respect your choice.

I love spring, but it makes me sad too. Another year :(

Glad your mum is home again shabs she is obviously made of strong 'northern stuff' like my mum was (sorry she was yorkshire) xx

Kazmus I agree it still seems so unreal to see it written down. I still can't understand why our lives have turned out so shit, I don't think I have ever hurt anyone intentionally. xx

Everlong I am still saying 'you know what has happened', or 'since we lost Richard'. I very rarely ever say 'died'. To be honest I don't think I have recovered from the shock. If a police car passes my house I still feel sick.

karen I found the should've been 3 months/3 months since very difficult. I had a complete meltdown and looking back that was my lowest point. Its when it all hit me. Think I had been living in a shock bubble up until then. Something about it being a quarter of a year was really significant to me. I started seeing a counselor then and started my blog, both of which I'm still doing because it is really helpful for me. Just wanted you to know I completely get the 3 month thing. So much love.

shab hope your Mum is doing ok, and that Lew is feeling better really soon.

Wedding went fine, no drama and nowhere near as difficult as I was anticipating. DH has done amazingly well as official photographer! I'm loving his photos!

Morning girls xx

JANUARY

4th January 2010 Grace's birthday (Tangle)
18th January 1998 Sydney's birthday (NinaJane)
20th Jan,1992 Billie's birthday (Chegirl)
25th January 21010 Grace's funeral (Tangle)
28th January 1998 Sydney's remember day (NinaJane)
30th January 1998 Sydney's funeral (NinaJane)

FEBRUARY
07th Feb 1986 Sian's birthday (Kazmus)
28th Feb,2008 Lucia's birthday (Crumpette)

MARCH

4th March 2007 Gregor's birthday (PPM)
11th March 2008, Eris's Birthday & Remember Day (FeedMeNow)
15th March 2009 Gregor's remember day (PPM)
26th March 2008, Noah's Birthday (TheLighthouseKeeper)

APRIL

3rd April,2007 Benjamin's remember day (Charleymouse)
10th April 2002 Georgie's remember day (AtACompleteLoss)
12th April,2009 Lucia's remember day (Crumpette)
13th April, 2005 Fraser's remember day (FMummy)
15th April, 2005 Fraser's birthday (FMummy)
23rd Apirl, 2002 Georgie's funeral (AtACompleteLoss)
27th April, 2006 Billie's remember day (chegirl)

MAY

10th May,1992 Matt's remember day (Shabbs)
24th May,1993 Christina's birthday (B.Butterfly)

JUNE

04th June 2008, Noah's Remember Day (TheLighthouseKeeper)
12th June Malachys Birthday/remember day (Minione)
16th June, 2010 Anabelle's remember day. (Caz)
21st June, 2010 Anabelle's birthday (Caz)
24th June Malachys Funeral (Minione)
25th June,1993 Christina's remember day (B.Butterly)
28th June 1987 Matt's birthday (shelleylou)
30th June, 2009 Niamh's birthday and remember day (Woolly Jo)
30th June, 1984 Matt's birthday (Shabbs)

JULY

13th July - Callum's remember day (LittleMissPMeno)
21st July, 1982 Gareth's remember day (Shabbs)
23rd July,2009 Nimah's funeral (Woolly Jo)
29th July, 2008 Caitlin's birthday (Olissa)
30th July. Cole's birthday (Liketomoveit)

AUGUST

3rd August, 2008 Caitlin's remember day (Olissa)
5th August,2009 Felix's birthday and remember day (Tinkerbelle)
8th August - Callum's funeral (LittleMissPMeno)
25th August Sians remember day (Kazmus)
28th August 2009 - Daisy's brithday and remember day (LunaticFringe)

SEPTEMBER
4th September 2010 Sians Funeral day (Kazmus)
9th September Ciaran's birthday and remember day (Deemented)
11th September 2009 Daisy's funeral (LunaticFringe)
18th September,2006 Jayden's birthday (Hazygirl)
28th September, 2005 George, Harry and Charlie's remember day. (Mouseface)

OCTOBER

1st October - Ciaran's funeral (Deemented)
7th October,2000 Harry's birthday (TWilbury)
19th October 2009 Matt's Remember day (shelleylou)
28th October 2009, Archie's birthday (AbiAbi)

NOVEMBER

6th November 2008 - Oliver's Remember Day (Everlong)
7th November - Cole's remember day (ILiketomoveit)
20th November 1987 - Oliver's Birthday (Everlong)

DECEMBER

1st December,2006 Jayden's remember day (Hazygirl)
2nd December,2001 Harry's remember day (TWilbury)
18th December,2006 Jayden's funeral (Hazygirl)
22nd December,1994 Jack's birthday and remember day (Lottie), Archie's remember day (AbiAbi)
24th Dec 2010 Allan Martin James remember day (KarenHL)
28th December,1981 Gareth's (and Danny's) birthday
31st December 2001 Georgie's birthday (AtACompleteLoss)
31st December 2009 Grace's remember day (Tangle)

Morning xx shabs how was lew last night? Xx

Morning all , fingers crossed I have got it right x

Shabs how is Lew this morning ? What a worry for you all x

Not heard from DIL yet but they are taking him to their own GP today. Hardly slept - so tired!

So he didn't have to go to A & E in the end ?

Will keep my fingers crossed he is feeling better this morning ?

Morning ladies xx

Hope Lew is much better today shabs and that it was just a bug. xx

Sorry tw but could you please add Richard to the latest list. xx

Didn't go to A & E - the emergency GP they saw thinks he has heard a heart murmur. I dont think he has any problems but, there again, I am not a Doctor. DS1 is totally distraught. They are taking him to get it sorted and DS1 will not be satisfied until it is. There aren't any words to describe the fear when DIL told me last night. God/Jesus has a very warped sense of humour if Lew has a heart problem. Please everybody keep your fingers crossed for a good outcome. Already had enough of this week!

shabs come here and let me give u a hug... All will be well .. But i can completely see how that news would knock the stuffin out of you and ds1. we are all holding your hand this morning xxxxx

Thanks love. I felt like somebody had hit me hard in the face last night. DIL explained it all to me and I wanted to scream and cry and loose my mind. Instead I waffled on about it. I know that All will be well....I really do....I also dont think he has a heart problem.