Precious memories of all our beloved children, gone too soon but they will live on forever in our hearts

[lavandes]

For our beloved Richard, missed so much xx

Jane - on a very practical note if you would like me to email or telephone the shop to 'negotiate' on your behalf I would be more than delighted to. That is just disgraceful. I am serious that I would be more than willing to help out. I love 'taking on' shops, companies or individuals like that. If you want me to just private message me the details and I will do my best to get you a refund. I am totally serious xxxxx

Oh jane I totally agree with shabs ... Shocking x
caz am glad your scan was positive news x
my little baby daffodils in my garden started to flower yesterday...was kind of significant as yesterday was the date of gregors funeral.

At the bottom of our street there is a football pitch.....it has beautiful massive trees all around it. Someone has planted daffs, snowdrops and crocus around the trees. Brought Lewis from his house to mine today and all the flowers are blooming....standing tall and proud. Lewis thought they were great. It made me think of Gregor and all our children. Spring is coming my friends....thank God...I hate the cold, grey Winter days.

Jane....let me at them my love

Our local council are instructing families that all roadside tributes for loved ones killed in RTA's are removed. Today they are going to put advertising signs for local companies on the majority of lamposts. Each sign will get £500 clear profit for our local council. I have emailed the most sarcastic, nasty email to our local paper. They say that roadside tributes to people who have died distract motorist..........................but, obviously bright, garish advertising wont????????????????????

jane that is disgraceful, how terribly cruel of them. Take shabs up on her offer and PM her the details.

shabs I am at the "distracting" tributes but the ok to adverts... the whole point of an advert is to grab your attention, no??

caz, thinking of you this weekend, I hope you get through your brother's wedding and that people remember to be sensitive to you and not thrust their babies at you. Do escape if you need to - blame pregnancy sickness/tiredness. It's the perfect excuse.

Morning girls xx

Morning ladies xx

I too am disgusted at the removal of tributes and putting up adverts. It makes me wondeer what on earth is going on in the minds of these people who are supposed to work for us and are paid by us. The chief exec of our council is paid £200,000 a year yet jobs are being cut and also the lowest paid people are having their rates of pay cut. It is obscene.

How thoughtless and mean of the shop jane, they should be named and shamed.

You are in my thoughts ppm xx

We have our grandchildren with us for the weekend. Their mum has 'come round' and is letting us help her. They are such a comfort to us and helping us to get through this difficult time. xx

Can someone please tell me why, even though I saw the baby 4 days ago, I am already worrying there will be no heartbeat by the time I get to the next scan? I really am going to lose the plot by the end of this pregnancy aren't I. I still think its because I'm not feeling sick enough - I couldn't eat for puking by this stage with Belle, but I'm doing fine at the moment apart from feeling knackered.

Jane can I be a little bit contradictory and very gently try and mention not to try not to do anything rash with the pram or other things. I know how shattering it is to have baby things in your face, and at home when the baby isn't, and being refused a refund after all you have been through is so cruel. But as weird as this is going to sound, now I'm so glad we have all of Belle's things upstairs in her room, I even managed to laugh the other day when I'd left her bedroom door slightly ajar to find my cat asleep in the basket bit at the bottom of the pram.

When we first lost Belle I didn't know what I wanted to do with it all, keep it or get rid of it, so someone just gently advised me not to make a decision too quickly and to wait until my head was in a clearer place. So we just hid it away in her room with the door shut, or kept stuff at my parents house until we knew (and we didn't really know until a good couple of months down the line!), then we figured that if Belle had survived her things would've been kept and used for any subsequent children anyway so that is what we decided to do. They are Belle's things, but this baby (if we get that far) will share them. They were bought with joy and I want to see them being used with joy too.

Of course everyone is different and you may not want that, and that is ok, but its been such a short time for you lovely and everything is so raw. I wouldn't want to see you regretting getting rid of your beautiful girls things. See how you feel in a couple of months, and maybe that awful trip for a refund can be turned around into a blessing in disguise, or if you still want to return the pram and other things maybe you can try selling on ebay or freeads or simular?

Sorry if I've upset you, or said too much, it wasn't my intention. Gentle steps as always. x x x

Hi caz Sorry you are feeling so fragile. If it is any help when I was pregnant with our eldest son I felt sick all the time for ages. At 6 months my blood pressure rose, so I had to rest more. But when I was pregnant with Richard I did not feel sick at all. No high blood pressure although I had a baby to care for (there is only 22 months between them) and it was a very hot summer. I think that like people, every pregnancy is different. I also had a much easier labour the second time around. Just take care of yourself and do not put yourself in any situation that makes you stress. YOU are the important one at the moment. xx

Edgar I'm so sorry I had missed you had posted here. You've been so much in everyones thoughts. Im so sorry you have had to find yourself here and about your precious boy. Xxx

Caz believe me that the feelings you are having are totally normal....totally, totally normal. I even felt like that when my DDIL was expecting Lewis

Also understand what you say about the pram and keeping it....I tend to go in all guns blazing and could quite easily 'rip the head' off whoever made Jane so sad. Must be my age!! xx

Morning ladies, so sad to find new mums on this thread, my heart goes out to you all. Lovely to hear about all the new little lives developing, and hope that all continues without any dramas. Thought I would share something very strange that has happened here. When Sian died, despite our family being quite active in the church, she requested not to have a church service or any mention of God, prayers etc as she was angry at what she had been handed in life. Although this was hard we went along with her wishes, and she was buried in a beautiful nature reserve, where there are no formal graves, everything just reverts to nature. You are allowed to plant bulbs etc so i put in a load of spring bulbs. I didnt plan anything just put them all in and hoped fro the best. They have come up in the most perfect and amazing shape of a cross! They look wonderful biut I'm worried that they are going against her wishes. Should i leave them as they are as she particularly siad no crosses etc at her funeral. They look so beautiful and I take a sort of comfort as if someone is trying to say that although she was angry she's still very much loved where it counts.

I'm glad you found us here Edgar. We are here ready to listen whenever you want to talk. I'm so sorry about your darling son, such a bloody pointless waste.

Caz - I think even when you haven't had trauma around being pregnant and children, pregnancy can be quite an anxious time, so you will feel it even more. You WILL get through this ok, have hope and positivity

Enjoy the GC Lavandes

Kazmus - that is amazing!! Think, if it was me, I would leave them. Wonder if your DD is trying to tell you something She sounds an amazing lady - would have liked to have met her. xx

x-posts Kazmus. I would leave them. See them as a message/sign

I am very jealous that your bulbs have sprouted. DS was buried in a woodland too and there seem to be lots of hungry wildlife around there who like nothing better than freshly laid flowers and bulb shoots

thank you for the offer Shabba, but my DF and i will be trying for another baby again when the time is right. Like you Caz i was going to be using Zoe's things for her brother/sister one day so i will be keeping her pram and other things to share with her sibling.

I enjoy sitting in her room and looking at her beautiful things. Cant believe she has been gone nearly 4 weeks!

Shabba that is disgusting behaviour from the council they areonly intereted in lining their pockets!

Oh Caz i will be exactly the same when the time comes, i hope you are ok.

On a brighter note DF and i are off to book our wedding today!

Jane - no problem - let me know if there's anything I can help with. I love a good argument

Booking a wedding? How lovely.

xx

Peeping round the door - is anybody there?????

OK nobody awake hope you all have a peaceful night xx

Here Lavendes!!!! Been up to my friends.

My Mum is in hospital - very anemic..(sp???) they are going to do tests on her bowels and bladder tomorrow. My darling Mum (77 years old) is in our local hospital right opposite the mortuary that Gareth was taken to. I had several panic attacks tonight on my walk up there. Very silly....yes I know it is. Dread the day that I loose my parents. They are my rock. xxxxxx

morning ladies x sending healthy hugs for your mum shabs xx

im up and out at an unearthly hour for a days befriender training being run by the cot death trust. gonna b a long and prob emotionally draining day as it may not finish til 6pm

Morning girls xx

Thanks PPM - hope your day goes well. xxx

Best wishes to your mum shabs, I hope you've slept ok.

Hope it goes well today PPM
xx

Thank you.....managed about 2 hours!!! More tired than a person should be this morning!! xx

Morning ladies xx

Sorry to hear your mum is ill shabs. I don't want to upset you more but make sure they test her for everything. My mum was aneamic and they gave her blood transfusions. Turned out a couple years later she had a leaky aneurism. They operated and she lived for another 4 years. She was much older than your mum (84) when she started being ill. I wonder if this was the problem all the time.

Voice of experience now. All you can do for your parents is care for them and let them know you are 'there'. My mum hated being treated like a child. I mean everyone taking over. It is a difficult time knowing how far to go.

Hope I have not upset you xx

No you haven't upset me love.

They, strangely enough, found a small problem with her heart when they did a body scan. Seems she has had the defect since birth. Mum has a weird heart beat that sometimes slows down for a few beats and then goes back to normal. Doctor said that it wont be the cause of her problem and wont cause her any problems IYKWIM??

On hearing that she had a slight problem with her heart she instantly blamed herself for Gareths major problems I think I have finally convinced her that Gareths problems were nobodys fault, they were (as the heart specialist put it) an accident that happened to him at conception.