Precious memories of all our beloved children, gone too soon but they will live on forever in our hearts

[lavandes]

For our beloved Richard, missed so much xx

Good to have you here with us Everlong xxx

I am so thick!!! I just tried to link a song to Edgars thread and put the wrong thing on - I have reported myself to MNHQ and hope they remove my post really quickly - I feel so embarresed and stupid. Please hurry and take it off MNHQ.

Sometimes I shouldn't get up in the morning

Morning folks x I remember back to those feelings of busy days where things just had to be done... at that stage an undertaker took my hand every day and walked me through the things that needed done then he and so many others vanished into the distance - and then I found you guys to hold my hand each day. Edgar and family have been on my mind too - for sooo many reasons... Saw my first daffodils in Glasgow this morning. They are still not out at home but not far away now!! How's everyone else this morning? x

Thanks MNHQ - all sorted!!

Just been trying to package ebay stuff with Lew helping - Oh My Gawd - remind me never to do that again. Will have to wait till he goes home.

Hi Ladies, hope you are all well. I cant believe my little Zoe has been for gone for 3 weeks now. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and other times its like a lifetime away. I have had a few better days but i miss her terribly.

So there really is a baby and he or she is measuring 6+6 weeks today and 9.7mm! I cannot tell you how relieved we were when they showed us the heartbeat on the screen. (Infact the Dr has written in our notes that we were delighted to see fetal heartbeat!)

The appointment itself was an hour and a half late which blew my anxiety levels through the roof. Not to mention having to go to the toilet twice and then down loads more water to fill up again incase I was called! It all feels incredibly real now. I can't stop looking at our little picture. The baby is so tiny!

We made ourselves go in Mothercare tonight and buy a pregnancy journal like we started at around 7 weeks with Belle. We must be as excited and have lots of lovely memories for No2 as we did for Belle. It was just as massive a step going through those doors as it was lying on a scanning bed again.

Next scan booked in for 26th April and seeing community midwife next Tuesday to do all the green notes and plan her part in my care inbetween my visits to the consultant. The Dr has also put me on a low dose of Asprin, purely precautionary (no blood or clotting disorders were found) but he has said it won't do any harm anyway.

Congratulations Caz! hope you are well

Oh, Caz. COngratulations, I'm so happy for you. I'm also on a low dose of aspirin, like you I was told it won't do any harm! I'm glad that you feel you can do a pregnancy journal, its a lovely thing to do. We've told a few friends and step son, who said that 'we must be at it like rabbits!'

Thinking of Edgar and her precious little boy

Hope everybody is ok x

so chuffed for you and your DH - thats wonderful. Your precious girl will watch over you and keep you safe....Im sure of that. Awwwww thats great news xxx

Congratulations Caz Horrible they kept you waiting so long, I bet the bladder discomfort was hideous!

Morning girls xx

Congratulations caz take it easy xx

hello ladies...

thank you for your thoughts and support on other threads :)

it does help, which suprises me as i am normally more the argumentative variety of poster and leave the support areas of the forum alone for i would put my foot in it--.

i think i know what you mean about the future. I feel the earthquake has passed, we have taken stock..but there will be aftershocks, fires, power-outs and tsunamis in the coming time. He was small in the world, but very big in our lives - without him the house is very quiet.

DD1 has been a little rock. she is sad too, and has helped - we sorted through DS clothes and she told me which things she thought DD2 might wear, and which things were certainly his. It felt positive. We tidied her toys into the drawer. She gets us out of bed in the morning (literally, by coming in for a cuddle and demanding breakfast).
She still forgets though, she is still looking for him. I wonder if we aren't too.

any help with how to handle a bereaved 3 year old very welcome - we want to get it right for her. She is coming to the funeral to say goodbye, but i didn't want her to see DS as he is now - the last time she saw him happy and playing. I found seeing him helpful, but that's because my last sight of him before that was very shocking.

congratulations on your pregnancy caz :)

Oh Edgar - so glad you came. Just so sorry that we all have to meet here.

With regards to your DD - I think just the truth at all times. You know what amount of truth she can handle and cope with. The beauty of children is that they see everything in black or white. Whilst us adults, wallow through the emotional, guilt ridden grey bit in the middle. We are troubled by 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' but children see the here and now.

Dont ever worry that if you cry in front of her it will 'damage' her emotionally. It wont - it will have the opposite effect - it will show her that even grown ups cant cope with everything all the time.

Thank you for posting xxxx

Hello Edgar, as Shabs said am so sorry that we all have to meet here.
I can identify about what you say about your DD1 literally getting you out of bed. My ds1 did that for me in the early days.

I also echo with what Shabs said re telling the truth at a level pitched towards what you know she can understand and also about crying. She will ask questions and if she doesn't get straight answers she'll probably keep asking! I can recommend the Winston's wish helpline for help with practical worries of how to explain anything in particular relating to children's grief... they were very helpful with me on how to explain cremation to a four year old without freaking him out and also about questions we had re what to do with Gregor's ashes. My ds1 did come and see his wee brother at the undertakers - but for us that was instinctively the right thing for us to do as he had seen us trying to resussitate his brother and we didn't want that to be the last memory.

My one piece of advice would be to trust your instincts - they are rarely wrong I hope you find some support on here.

Sending you a big hug xxxx

Oh Edgar, I'm so so sorry you have had to find yourself here. I'm glad that you feel that you can come and talk to us and I hope you find support here.

Sending you a hug xxx

Morning girls xx

Morning all x

Edgar ,welcome to the one place nobody ever wants to find themselves but we are all glad we have got .

I second the answering any questions that your dd asks as honestly as possible . It sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing , just follow your instincts .
I don't think you can ever be prepared for some of the questions that will come your way , and if she is anything like my boys she will decide that the middle aisle of Tesco is generally the right time to ask , which brings its own issues .

crying in Sainsburys already done :( DD suddenly shouted when she saw skips (DS favourite) - had big hug with her and DH though. unashamedly bawling in public places becoming normal now.

.....I can't see any problem with bawling in public places. I took some shoes back for a refund about a week after DS3's Mattys funeral. When they said they couldn't give me a refund I sobbed for about 20 minutes!! I got my refund though - but when I think about it now it makes me feel like this

Oh Edgar, iam truley sorry for the loss of your little boy. I know words wont help but i want you to know i am thinking about you and your family.

Crying in public is now the norm for me to, I am still bleeding after giving birth 3 wks ago and the maternity towels are stocked slap bang in the baby aisle of asda. I sob everytime i need to buy some more.

My Df and I went to the shop we bought our pram from to enquire about a refund, they refused as we had built it up. I was so upset and sobbed my heart out at the checkout.