Precious memories of all our beloved children, gone too soon but they will live on forever in our hearts

[lavandes]

For our beloved Richard, missed so much xx

Yes TW i've done the flowers. Wont see them untill they are laid out at te funeral shes going to deliver them save me collecting them. DP werent too happy about it but i dont think i could deal with that on top of supporting him and my db trying to make sure im strong enough to get through it whilst dealing with my hormones.

Glad you and L are doing well LF

Morning girls xx

Awwwwww LF - just Awwwwww

hi

oh Lunatic, I'm so happy for you. Sending you and yours big hugs xxx

Well, i have some news, I am almost ten weeks pregnant. We had a scan on Tuesday and everything ok so far! I'm a nervous, anxious wreck but have to have faith that everything will be ok this time round. I'm consatantly dreaming about miscarrying and bleeding but I suppose this is normal considering what i've gone through.

Anyway, hope everyone is ok xxx

Congratulations Mini - whoever is sprinkling this magic baby dust on this thread - dont dare come near me !!!

xxx

Thanks shabs

Congratulations Minione That is lovely news .

Congratulations mini thats fantastic news.

Ye no sending any more babydust this way please its already got me x

Shelley WHAT??????

Thanks everyone x

Shelley are you pregnant? I know you mentioned a 'scare' but thought it was just that!

Congratulations mini and shelley (?!) :o

lf fab to see you, I'm so glad Lewis is doing so well. It must be a magical feeling. :)

I tested early this morning and a bfn. :( gutted but hoping upon hope I just tested too early. AF due monday I think. there was a very faint shadow of a line and hour later but I know that is just evaporation lines or something and can't be taken as meaning anything. It really is beginning to break my heart that little bit more. I want a baby in my arms so badly. I keep looking at pictures of Belle and desperately want her. I'm supposed to be a proper Mummy, not this half a Mummy.

If we haven't caught this month, and its looking less likely, then its now taking us longer to catch with no2 than it did with Belle and that makes me worry something has changed or gone wrong with one of us.

Irrational I know.

Oh Caz - I know that feeling of longing for a baby. We had been married and trying to get pregnant, for four years when the twins came along.

I hope whatever is going round our thread is 'catching' for you I think grief and stress make it much harder to conceive. I know this will sound pathetic to you, but, please try to relax. Now I have written that it sounds more pathetic than I at first feared. The minute someone says that to me I feel myself tense up. Take care of yourself sweetheart xxx

congratulations ,more patter of feet,realy is fantastic.im sat here looking at my youngest little granddaughter ,she is so adorable,just like her couisons.

Morning girls xx

yes i am. Scare was a while ago. Had a mc in july which would be due now lol. Found out just over a week ago. Not too far along though but thought id share with you ladies. It had worked out 'd tested too early caz so it ciould still happen. At least i know what the pains i had at the end of january when a paramedic was called for me was lol. The timing isn't great if i'm honest but i do want another child so i know i'll be ok with whatever happens. DS was saying from when AF was due he wants a baby sister then brother for his birthday. It'll be an early birthday present for him. Due in october

Aw shelley n mini lovely news... Any spare dust i will gladly sweep up n keep for later this year when we may start to TTC again LOL!

My mum and DS1 have just dropped me off at the train ... Am headin down south for an induction day tomorrow for a job im going to b doing over the next two months. DS1 was in tears saying goodbye but i know by now he will be happily conning granny into a load of treats to make him feel better!

I am going to be working with the Scottish cot death trust for two months designing an online survey which will hopefully result in providing real parent expperiences about opinions on what the professionals involved in sudden and unexpected death of an infant or child could do better. The work coincides with gregors anniversary which i reckon could somehow help me get through march this year.

On a totally different subject i in a card shop yesterday and was hugely relieved to realise that mothers day actually falls in april this year... I know it doesnt help those of u with anniversaries in april but mothers day two years ago was the day before gregors funeral and the last day i spent with him

how are u all doing? Am going to be on trains most of the day if anyone fancies a chat!!

PPM so proud of you - what a worthwhile and compassionate job you will be doing. It always helps me when I try and help other people in the 'same boat'.

xxx

Wow, lots of hopeful news here :) Many congratulations, Mini & Shelley xx

((Caz))

One of the church leaders called my littlest by his brother's name this morning. She was worried I was upset, but it was lovely. We don't need reminding he's here, but others sometimes do :)

PPM I think it's wonderful that you're drawing on your experience to help others. It will help you, but make sure you have a way of safely off-loading (()) Oh, & have one of these for the journey x

that job sounds amazing PPM.
Thank ladies..

Just wrote the card out for friends funeral after a worrying few hours that i wouldnt be able to go. DS has decided now would be a good time to get chicken pox

thanks ladies xx had good intentions of doing some work on the way but am enjoying the peace and quiet. I picked up a new book at the station too called 'the brightest star in the sky' so will prob b sobbing before we get past carlisle and yes am still seeing my counseller so plenty of scope for offloading! Its going to be an emotional but hopefully very worthwhile few months!

Afternoon :)

Congratulations to Mini and Shelley, really wonderful news.

Feeling so crappy this last week, had my first period since Scarlett and I feel so sad. I know things will get easier, or at least I hope so, but right now is so painful.

Hiya cheese, am so sorry you are feeling so sad... It's a really raw sadness that I wish our words could make easier but from my experience nothing I can say will ease the rawness. I hope somehow it can help by knowing we are all here for you and are all still in our various timelines of grief getting up, putting our best foot forward and keeping remembering to breathe! Hugs for you cheese xxxxx

Thanks peterpansmum, it's so hard at times isn't it. I have a lot of ups and downs, even in one day, which I suppose is normal though. It's one of those things you don't even think about until it happens, for me at least, but then you find out how many others are in the same position and it's just heartbreaking. xx

All totally normal, sadly. I am almost two years on and the pain is not nearly as raw as it once was but when i have rough days it feels more intense as it's not there all the time iykwim xx

Very true PPM xxx

It's all so unfair, I hate life right now.