Flying high enjoying their wings, Remembering our precious much loved children...

[CazandBelle]

For my beautiful Anabelle Violet. Born an angel.

Mummy and Daddy miss and love you so much. Always. xxx

Memory like a fish - I got that wrong. It's:
"The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears".

Spilttheteaagain thanks for your post.MIL from hell indeed .Never mind, there's much worse at sea so they say!!!!!! Silly old bag.Hope you re ok? xx You young thing !!!! gatecrashing our "oldie" thread you youngsters want it all!!!! XX

Hi Hazy.............I am so thrilled for you, there is nothing in the world like a new born baby, so very happy for you all. xx

Congratulations hazy wonderful news, I am so happy for you xx

Awww my best RL friend Trips came in to see us tonight. Many moons ago I lost my Matty and my 'best friend' Trips lost her Matty. We contacted each other through Compassionate Friends....we had so much in common. I have met Trips once in Real Life....but in real life conversations we have talked to each other for at least 17 years. You know, that sometimes we dont have to meet someone to have a connection.......well, my friend, Trips understands me...really 'gets me' xxxxxxxxxx

split I love that quote. It really is fitting. I hope you find some peace writing to Bobbie. I always find writing a new poem or my blog such an outlet for everything I'm feeling.

Sorry to hear you're puking. You have my sympathies. I had the worst (all day) morning sickness. For 12 weeks all I ate was literally walkers salt and vinegar crisps and mcdonalds chips because they were all I could keep down. I lost well over a stone in my first trimester! When is your first scan?

I've started using my clearblue fertility monitor now, so really hoping that it will happen again soon for us.

Friends of DH have visited tonight (I say of DH but they are our friends now I suppose, they just knew him first!!) and they had bought a lovely gift for Belle. A wooden christmas decoration glossed and painted with her "Anabelle's 1st Christmas in Heaven, 2010" - it has a angel on it too. Really pretty and thoughtful. They also bought a wall plaque with her full name and DOB on and then a lovely poem about our angel girl. I'm so touched by thoughtfulness again. Really perfect. Friend was gutted it hadn't arrived before xmas, but with all the post nonsense it only arrived this morning... nevermind. I love it anyway, and the decoration is on the tree now.

Morning girls xx

caz,that sounds so lovely.

Morning folks

Caz - it's so lovely when people remember isn't it? I've always found that it's the people i'd least expect to as well.

Well, i have some new too - Manshape and i have agreed to try for another baby! I'm coming off my pill and we've decided that if it happens it happens. We won't be too dissapointed if it doesn't, but we'll see how it goes So babydust over this way please!!

Hi Everyone, we're back from Ireland. We had a nice time but all the grandkids were there (except step son, at 18 we didn't think he's want to come!) so 12 kids ranging from 3 to 17. I just wished Malachy could havebeen there to meet them all.

Congrats Hazy and good luck withthe ttc Dee x

Good to see you back mini - I was only thinking of you last night. Hope your christmas was 'ok'

dee what a lovely week you're having! So much luck with ttc. Hopefully there'll be lots of us expecting more bundles of joy soon.

Haven't long got up having a very very lazy day.

Wow dee you are having an exciting time! As Caz says, hope it happens soon and there is good baby news on this thread.

louise I did feel a bit cheeky butting into your thread... got 15 years before I qualify just yet! Hope the day continues to treat you well, all the very best to you x

Morning girls xx

Morning Shabbs - you OK love? You're a bit quiet of late and it's not like you. Hope you're ok?

Hiya Dee. I hit the Festive wall yesterday. no Umph left. Im OK though - or rather I WILL be OK. xxxxxx

Ah love ((cwtch))

New Years Eve knocks me sideways.

It was my 3rd day after I had the twins - trying to BF them.....exhausted....weepy and trying to take in the enormity of Gareths problems. On New Years Eve Gareth was taken to Manchester Childrens Hospital. I watched the ambulance crawling up the road with Police motorbike escorts....then I climbed under the sheets holding Danny and just sobbing. The day went worse and worse - each time the phone rang on the ward (and there was only myself and one other mum there) I knew it was to tell them about Gareths condition.

He has two holes in his heart.
There is a major problem with the arteries in his lungs.
His pulmonary valve is not working properly.

It was so overwhelming. At midnight I could hear people shouting 'Happy New Year' and I lay in my bed and wanted the world to end.

OMG I despise New Years Eve. Just put my 'face' in the wash to prepare to go to my friend Chelles tonight.

xxxxxxx

Onwards and upwards girls....onwards and upwards!

On a much lighter note my adorable great-niece, Gracie Lou, is ONE YEARS OLD TODAY......she is sooooooo cute. xxxx

Oh Shabbs.... how i wish i could take this heartache from you, from us all. I know there are no words, nothing i can say that'll make things better or right... but i want you to know that you aren't on you're own, that although i'm just words on a screen, i really do care, and love you to bits, you owld gimmer

LOL - thank you darling xxx

Just sometimes need to explain to people (on here and in RL) what happened. The problem is that in RL I think Im boring the bum out of folk...but on here its different. We all have an important story to tell...about love, loss and living through it.

Thanks Dee xxxxx

Another year beckons... another year without my darling son.. another year where everyone will pretend this year is going to be better...

how??? Fraser is still missing

I know how hard new year is for me shabs so I can only guess how hard it is for you.. and for the others on here who lost their loved ones this time of year

For all those who lost their loved ones this year the new year will be very odd. Its like the worst thing that could happen to anyone happened this year so next year can only be better ... and yet how can it be ??? you need to enter a new year without your dear child.

My heart goes out to you all this hogmanay and I will raise a glass to all our angels later on tonight

big hugs everyone, thinking of you shabs,we all love you, dd2 waiting for midwife,turned up here at 11, but different area so cant go there,dd needs a little injection as had surgery and needs it to stop risk of dvt.
baby alicia doing brill,both came home last nite,dd2 worn out,baby has screamed all nite, as soon as pick up she goes off ,but dont want to take risk ,im waiting for dh coming home then were going make tea and send dd2 and chappie for rest as dd2 shouldnt realy be home yet,any tips girls id be gratefulxx

Thank you Hazy xx

It sounds, to me, like you are doing everything to help your DD...just keep doing what you are love - she will appreciate it so much xxx

Am thinking of you all today and will raise a glass in honour of all our children on earth and in heaven later.

Does feel different for me this year compared to last year... Last hogmany I went to bed at 8pm alone and lonely after mark finished dialysis. This year I am at my parents with dh and ds2 and other friends will be joining us in the evening... I may stay up til the bells but this year I will take it as it comes... My counselling has enabled me to take each day as it comes. You ladies have kept reminding me to put one foot in front of the other and keep remembering to breathe....

Last year I couldn't bear to wish anyone a happy new year ... This year I don't feel as overwhelmed as last year...

I wish you all love, peace and happiness and hope you all find the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.... Much love my friends xxxxx

Many congratulations, Hazy. Alicia is a lovely name. Have you tried gently swaddling her? DS4 had a specially shaped sheet, but it works with a cot sheet. I think some babies need to feel wrapped up - it must be a shock to have waving arms & legs! I used to put a rolled up blanket or towel next to DS1 too - he didn't seem to like being on his back & this propped him sideways a bit, though you have to be careful with positioning with this. If your daughter's breastfeeding, I found a v-shaped pillow really helpful as it supported without getting in the way (I got v good at dozing through feeds :))

Love to everybody. Tomorrow's just another day...