Tell me about your 2 year old... please tell me I'm not the only one struggling!!!

[smileyboy]

My ds is a lively, energetiv boy. Was always a reasonably happy baby, never hard work really.

Now he's 2.6 and I feel like I am losing the plot! Please reassure me or offer tips cos I feel like I am doing it all wrong.

DS refuses to get dressed without a struggle/ screaming.

He doesn't want to get in the bath saying 'no I don't want a bath', then loves the bath and doesn't want to get out no matter how much warning him I do that it's soon time to get out. He then usually cries when it's time to get out.

Hi language is pretty good. Talks in sentences and seems to have very good understanding but he will often just ignore me if I ask him a question. I am unsure how to deal with it because I don't know if he's not listening or just ignoring people. I seem to have to answer a lot of questions for him when others talk to him although I wouldn't say he's shy. He'll happily engage people in conversation about what he wants but not really answer their questions or talk about what they want if that makes sense?

He seems to sulk quite a lot. Went shopping today and all the way round, every shop we went in 'I don't want to be in this shop mummy, I don't want to be in this shop mummy' over and over and over. He can repeat himself for litterally 10 minutes and no amount of cojoling or distracting seems to do any good. If I ignore him h just gets louder and cries. Most of today he seems to have had tears in his eyes or been on the brink of a tantrum and this is standard really.

He is very bossy when playing games 'mummy stand there' 'daddy, pick my bricks up' 'no put them in here' etc.. if you don't obey him he cries aswell which we just ignore.

He seems good at playing by himself but is just very very hard work and we seems to spend our entire day distracting him and having to tip toe around him.

He is very loving but only on his own terms. The other day a friend of ours was holding on to ds' hood and ds tried to get away as he as playing, ds then turned round and said 'let go of me pleae' he didn't so ds then burst into tears... I actually thought this was understandable as itwas a stupiud thing for my friend to do my everyone seemed really ahocked like ds was moody and asked if he was tired. I just said no he doesn't like being pulled around for no reason and left it at that. Is it really that unusual that he responded in that way????

Not sure what I am asking really... perhaps just ressurrance that it is a phase that will pass or maybe just wanting to know how I can help cheer him up a bit. So what's your verdict and and what's your 2 year old like? How do they respond to being restricted/ dressed etc?

oh god i was going to start a thread about my dd (2.6) behaviour today and how im fed up of shouting.
she is bossy, rude, forgets to say please/thank you, runs off when i call her, says no i wont to everything and i end up shouting and then she does what she is asked and says sorry but i want her to do as she is asked without me having to shout.
i will look at the books recomended, is naughty step/time out worthwhile at this age?

My son was like this. He's now aged 4 and a lot easier to deal with, although DD aged 20 months is now showing signs of wilfull disobedience too! My very wise ex-primary school teacher mum said that independence, determination, stubbornness and knowing their own mind/what they want are all good qualities that'll stand them in good stead in later life. I tried to bear that in mind during the more extreme battles I had.

Is there something in the development that turns a sweet toddler into an opinionated bossy madam at 2.6? Just gone through it over Christmas and dd won't listen to a thing I say. Even threatened to take a biscuit off her that she'd just eaten... She gave me the look - obviously brighter than I thought

My DD has down to a tee - that is a four year old - you wait til they hit 13!!! Enjoy your toddlers!! its a breeze!

The naughty step works with my dd. She doesn't move off it, anyway, and says sorry (eventually) - Wouldn't be easy away from home, though. Once she just WOULDN'T say sorry though, and was on the step for about 20 minutes - then I had to take her out as we had a doctor's appointment - really annoying! Not foolproof, evidently, but useful, I think.

I use the naughty step and although ds cries while he's on there, he doesn't get off it til I go and explain what he's done and why he was put there. I don't insist he says sorry yet to be honest just because he is very stubborn and wouldn't say something just because I told him to directly after a tantrum when he is still moody. It would just proong the tantrum so I don't see the point yet. I just tell him 'mummy knows you're sorry, give me a cuddle and lets go do so and so now.' Once he's calmed down and happy again he will usually say 'sorry I did that mummy' and then we have a cuddle and try to forget about it. Bloody constant though isn't it?! I knew that being a mum would be a full time job but I didn't realise how relentless the crying and tantrums would be. I think I hoped I'd done the hardest bit when he was a baby........ wow was I wrong!

This all sounds like my two. DD1 is 3.5 now and coming out of it, but DD2 is 20mths and already well in her stride. Her first three word sentence was "Me do it" - cue tantrums because she can't put her coat on/open her smoothie/eat her soup successfully and then more tantrums when mummy has to do it for her!

At least she calms down quickly, DD1 used to get stuck in tantrums for an hour, but DD2 is better at moving on quickly.

This thread is such a relief!! I have 19 month old twins and, while one has always been reasonably laid back (although she has her screaming fits the same as any other child) the other is SUCH hard work. I was beginning to think she's abnormal to be such a little madam at such an early age. She can scream for ages & sometimes it seems impossible to calm her down. She throws herself on the floor and bangs her head when she doesn't get her own way to the point of bruising herself if I don't stop her in time. She's deliberately naughty - sometimes she looks round and gives me a wicked grin before doing something I just told her not to. She really drives both me & my DH to despair!! I think he was glad to get back to work after Xmas. I can't remember my older DD (now 4) ever being as bad as this.

My dds favourite words are no & mine!!

This sounds just like my almost 3 yr old DS although I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel so yes, it's normal toddler behaviour, and, yes, it is a phase and it will pass. Which doesn't make it any easier to deal with at the time!

Distraction is the key and also walking away and counting to 10 (or 20, or more...) when it all gets too much.

My DD is 3.5 and is a tyrant. She has definitely got worse since she turned 3, but she wasn't a walk in the park before that. We use the naughty step liberally and have just instituted a points system for treats. I am becoming super nanny! Your son sounds perfectly normal to me. Good luck!

Am nodding my head as I read these posts! my ds is 2.4 and is a really sweet boy but so so so strong willed and physically strong too.

Have baby due early summer and Im now struggling to deal with him when he has a tantrum because he goes rigid and gets really kicky. He is too heavy for me to lift when hes like that and I end up walking away from him and leaving him lying there until he calms down. It can take a while..

Think giving a choice is a good one sometimes but what do you do when its gone beyond that and they are too physically strong for you?

Hi - wish I had time to read through all this thread as I am sure it will make me feel better about my dd2's behaviour! She has just turned two and yes we struggle to get her dressed, to bed, to toddlers, to leave her dummy etc etc etc. Luckily she is just coming out of nappies so I am hoping that's one struggle we can forget (apart from at night). However, she has also just moved from a cot to a toddler bed so now we have her getting out of bed when she feels like it....

I just wanted to share one tip with you. If we are out somewhere and I need her to do something - usually put her shoes back on as she is forever taking them off - and she won't, I pretend I am going to get someone else to do it. Any random person will do, either someone you know or a complete stranger. She always looks very worried by this idea and usually lets me do it straight away. I don't usually actually ask anyone but I did once ask a passing tourist to put her shoes on - he laughed and she capitulated immediately.

I like that, claraquack! Thanks

So I'm driving along a snow-covered road with my two in the back. DS: Mummy, hold hand. Me (sweetly and gently): I can't hold your hand sweetie, I'm driving. DS: Mummy, hold hand. Me (a little tetchily): No DS, I'm driving. DS: Mummy hold hand NOW. Even DD (aged 3.5) laughed.

I'm loving this thread. It makes you realise how ridiculous and hilarious the things they do and say actually are. Of course, at the time they just make you want to drink neat gin. I've been known to stick two fingers up behind his back (unseen by anyone but me of course) at times of severe stress. It works a treat!

thesecondcoming my ds is the same regards the 'I'm not gonna' thing, just like your dd, noone has mentioned going upstairs etc but he will stand there and repeat over and over and over 'I'm not gonna go upstairs, I'm not gonna go upstairs, I don't want to' on and on and on. It really is like he is looking for an excuse to cry and have a tantum sometimes. So relieved he's not the only one.

Another tantrum and tears free day for me though, that's 2 in a row.... this has NEVER EVER happened before so I'm hoping he's a bit more calm now Christmas is over with and I am more relaxed knowing it's normal. I used to think his tantrums were the end of the world but now I don't dread them I just think it's him being 2 which has massively reduced my stress levels and me wondering constantly what the next tantrum will be over!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, fingers crossed the next baby will be like your first dd was and a little bit more placid as a toddler.

Wow this is spooky reading all this as my DD1 turned 2 just before Xmas. Why oh why does my DD think she has such a horrible life that she has to cry and scream about EVERYTHING!!??? I can relate to everything that has been said and I've got another 11 months to go. By which time DD2 will be 18 months and getting ready to hit her stride!

My friend says how sweet my DD is and I just think take her and bring her back when she's working!!!! No advice, just that I'm suffering along with you all

I had to ask DD what she said 3 times in a row the other day as she was crying/screaming/tanruming so hard I could not understand. In the end I said 'I am sorry DD, I just cannot understand you' to which she replied....

'Well listen then!'

Do you want some bread and marmite darling?

No No No!!!

Bread and marmite?

No!

Ok would you like some fruit?

Bread and marmite! Bread and marmite!

and marmite provided and chucked on floor

Bread and marmite! Bread and marmite!

and so on, all day, every day. (DS 23 months)

Basically anything that can be argued or fought against will be. And every dressing / nappy change / bath / teeth brushing is a full-on wrestling match.

Wouldn't have it any other way

It is such a relief that so many other mums feel like me. The shopping list idea is great. Thankyou. I was also abit worried (because my eldest son wasn't like this,) that there was something wrong with him. But after reading everyone elses messages I realise he is normal and I was lucky first time round!

Arrrrgh! One crying fit after another today... just as I thought things were getting abit better. DS has spent the morning ordering me about... crying because I won't let him outside in the snow without his shoes on. Then his grandad came round and he screamed orders at him and cried if he wasn't immeditely obeyed. Everyone looks at him like he's posessed . It's so hard cos I know he can be lovely!

My DD has serious cabin fever after 3 days in due to the snow and her nursery is closed. In the end braved the half-foot deep snow, dug out the car and went to the garden center for breakfast and a book. Genius, she is even sleeping now..... sigh

At 2, my dd's constant catchphrase was: "And how do YOU know? Have you read it in a book? Have you read it in the papers?".

She is now 13- and actually seems quite willing to accept that her old Mum might occasionally just know things.

This too shall pass.

well i promised myself i wouldnt shout today, i lasted till 11.
i ignored the tantrums over getting up, getting dressed, and just got on with my dad and dd eventually joined in.
played all morning, then when i did some washing and sorted my aired stuff/ironing dd got bored and kept walking past touching the ironing pile, i told her not to touch it so she through it all on the floor, and i turned into screaming banshee mom again
i just get so frustrated, she wants 100% attention all the time, she wont give me any space, if im sitting she has to sit on my feet and jiggle about, if im washing up she is between me and the sink, if im standing she is climbing up me.
sometimes she is cuddling me and i feel like unwrapping myself as i cant breathe, thats awful to admit but she is on me 24/7.
she is asleep now, phew.