Tell me about your 2 year old... please tell me I'm not the only one struggling!!!

[smileyboy]

My ds is a lively, energetiv boy. Was always a reasonably happy baby, never hard work really.

Now he's 2.6 and I feel like I am losing the plot! Please reassure me or offer tips cos I feel like I am doing it all wrong.

DS refuses to get dressed without a struggle/ screaming.

He doesn't want to get in the bath saying 'no I don't want a bath', then loves the bath and doesn't want to get out no matter how much warning him I do that it's soon time to get out. He then usually cries when it's time to get out.

Hi language is pretty good. Talks in sentences and seems to have very good understanding but he will often just ignore me if I ask him a question. I am unsure how to deal with it because I don't know if he's not listening or just ignoring people. I seem to have to answer a lot of questions for him when others talk to him although I wouldn't say he's shy. He'll happily engage people in conversation about what he wants but not really answer their questions or talk about what they want if that makes sense?

He seems to sulk quite a lot. Went shopping today and all the way round, every shop we went in 'I don't want to be in this shop mummy, I don't want to be in this shop mummy' over and over and over. He can repeat himself for litterally 10 minutes and no amount of cojoling or distracting seems to do any good. If I ignore him h just gets louder and cries. Most of today he seems to have had tears in his eyes or been on the brink of a tantrum and this is standard really.

He is very bossy when playing games 'mummy stand there' 'daddy, pick my bricks up' 'no put them in here' etc.. if you don't obey him he cries aswell which we just ignore.

He seems good at playing by himself but is just very very hard work and we seems to spend our entire day distracting him and having to tip toe around him.

He is very loving but only on his own terms. The other day a friend of ours was holding on to ds' hood and ds tried to get away as he as playing, ds then turned round and said 'let go of me pleae' he didn't so ds then burst into tears... I actually thought this was understandable as itwas a stupiud thing for my friend to do my everyone seemed really ahocked like ds was moody and asked if he was tired. I just said no he doesn't like being pulled around for no reason and left it at that. Is it really that unusual that he responded in that way????

Not sure what I am asking really... perhaps just ressurrance that it is a phase that will pass or maybe just wanting to know how I can help cheer him up a bit. So what's your verdict and and what's your 2 year old like? How do they respond to being restricted/ dressed etc?

Similar tactic as MumofaPickle describes - when DS won't eat something I say 'Oo goody, then mummy can eat it!' Nine times out of te the response is 'Noooooo! Mine!!!' and in it goes.

at carocaro. Mind you, my 3.5 year-old often gets angry if I don't do something the way I did it whenever it was the last time I did it.

My 3 year old is going through a bit of a defiant and cheeky phase - think partly a reaction to a very exciting Christmas/New Year. Trying to give lots of positive attention pro-actively and praise good behaviour and "aren't you pleased with yourself" comments when she dresses herself.

The timer on the microwave is brilliant. I try not to use it too much. But "time to clean teeth" "don't want to clean teeth" "ok, I'll put the timer on for five minutes" and when it goes, whatever she is doing, it's like magic, upstairs she goes without a murmur.

I remember my mum telling me about timers, and I kind of went, oh yes, sure sounds good. Didn't realise how good until I tried it!

My DS is 2 in Feb and is starting to show some of the typical 'toddler' behaviours you've mentioned.

I think they are ALL the same and it's VERY hard work indeed, so you (and all the other posters here) have my sympathy.

I'm reading all the excellent survival tips her with great interest. No doubt I'll be using them all in the very near future!

sounds just like my DS who is 2.9. Also if an adult was pulling on his hood and didn't let when he said please my DS would probably have booted the adult on the shin.

I don't understand adults who do things like to kids and then look surprised when the kids get upset (almost like its the kids fault for getting upset at the fact the adult was 'only playing')

my DD 2.9 is all the above posts and has also recently stopped sleeping through the night and is a nightmare to get to bed...we are so knackered. she went to bed at 7.30 didnt go to sleep til 9.45 and was awake at 1 and 4am. then up for the day at 6am. and off to work we go!!....

Normal! Next!

OP "He can repeat himself for litterally 10 minutes" Mine is 4.5, and I dream of 10 minutes! My DS can repeat himself indefinitely...

It does change - mine started with the tantrums at about 11 months, and has seemed to grow out of them by about 4. So now we get a lot less screaming and flinging himself on the floor, which is nice, but a lot more bossy, articulate arguing with everything we want him to do

Distraction and humour has always worked best with him - we've learned never to simply set ourselves up in opposition to him unless it's a situation we definitely can control, because his stubbornness will outlast any patience we have.

But OMG the banana - that brings back a lot of memories of ages 2 ad 3. They want something. You do it. They scream the house down. Ad infinitum...!

My DD is another stroppy little madam sometimes, and also bites, pinches and scratches, which DS never did. The only thing that works with that is a very clear consequence, if you bite me, I will... . With the usual routine struggles, I find, if I can summon up the inner resources, that singing usually does the trick - defuses the situation, and ends up putting me in a better mood too. Another one, now she has just got into cuddly toys, is to pretend they're talking to me [mental emoticon], e.g. 'What's that, Bagpuss, you're tired and you want DD to give you a cuddle in bed?'...

Should add that I also hate adults who wind up/disrespect small children. I have a friend who does it to his DD and it really upsets me. They may be exasperating and I've also been driven to tears, but it's a normal stage.

Oh nursenight that sounds horrendous. Touch wood ds has always been a dream at night time unless he's ill. Hope that doesn't change! Outnumbered2to1, yeah I totally understood why ds cried about the hood incident but I wasn't sure if that's just cos I know what ticks him ff and I learned VERY early with him that he didn't like to be pulled about/ roughplay/ restricted/ even being dressed etc so I thought maybe he was unusual after everyone's reaction to his tears. I tried to think of it from his point of view and of course my ds did not understand it was just a game and really didn't see it as being 'fun'. What's fun about being held back by your hood when you're happily playing and minding your own business! The friend in question has no children of his own though so maybe didn't realisehow 2 year olds think.

Must say it's a huge relief to have read all the replies. Sounds lie it's all part of the terratory of being a toddler then. THANK GOD! I guess everyone thinks they're the only one going through it but this proves otherwise!

A lot of people's comments ring bells with us... not holding hands unless crossing the road, the crying over ridculous things, the constant battle of wills. Must be a confusing place for him though I suppose and I need to remember he's just 2. He's quite tall and very verbal so I think I sometimes forget that he is just a baby really.

Thanks everyone, this has put it all to perspective a bit and actually today ds has not had one tantrum or tears. Very unusual for him but I am wondering if it's maybe because I am less worried if he does cos I know it's normal now. Often if I am wound up or upset then ds just spirals with me and we drive eachother mad. I just find it hard to believe what a good baby he was and how much he seems to have changed but I suppose that's growing up for you!

As many others have said, thank goodness I'm not the only one!

My 2.3 year old DS can be an absolute horror at the moment. 'I want raisins' (please being something that is used sporadically with DS too) 'In a bowl', Mummy then kindly transfers to bowl. Screaming ensues 'NO, in the box', rasins fall on floor 'Raisins fall down, oh no' scream, scream, throw self on floor.

Everything is a battle and the wanting to do everything himself can become not only tedious, but means that the tiniest task can take forever. And the bossiness, dear god. 'Stand there, not like that, like daddy' 'Sit down' 'eat it' and his favourite, usually shouted very loud 'read it!'.

But he is the most hilarious and lovely boy in between the tantrums and being contrary!

Marine Iguana, I feel same about people disrespecting children. I think people tend to forget that he's not a performing monkey or a doll. He's a little boy with real feelings/ likes/ dislikes and emotions. It does annoy me when people do stupid things to wind him up. Some of my family find it hilarious to take ds' comfort blankie, hold it just out of his reach and not let him get it. They seem to think he will think it's funny but of course he doesn't.. I always end up saying 'silly uncle Gary should give that back now' which just makes me look like a bitch but I know if it continued he'd understandably meltdown the poor kid. He is so lovely with my family but he just doesn't want to be manhandled by them or have his beloved blankie taken away.... stupid people! It really irritates me when people insist on picking him up and dragging him about too, he just isn't into all that. He loves to chat with people nd will give them hugs when he wants to but does not want to be treated like a baby and cuddled when he's had enough etc!

Oh ds latest thing t otantrum over is wanting to push his own buggy . It's fairly heavy but a dolls buggy just will not do. He has to poush his own buggy which means it takes 30 minutes to get somewhere that should take 2 minutes and then God help me if I dare try to help him stir it 'NO NO NO LET GO.' Then screams if I don't grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Oh yes, we have the buggy pushing too. It drives me mad, it takes SO long to get anywhere. Not to mention the danger element of taking off down a steep hill with seemingly no control over the thing whatsoever.

Does anyone else's toddler do the "I want" tantrum? DS will run through a litany of things that he wants (usually things he can't have at that time, and unrelated to the tantrum) "I want dummy, I want a bath, I want biscuit" I think it's just to try and provoke a response from us so we ignore but it was hilarious the other day when he included "I want coffee. I want babyciiiiiinnnnnno!"

Today's tantrums so far

Because I tried to get him dressed

Because when I popped to put the bins out I wouldn't let him run out into the (snow covered)road in just his vest and socks

Because he didn't want to leave dd at preschool

Because I wasn't able to magically click my fingers and have hot chocolate appear so had to take the time to make it

Because I held his hand to cross the road

Because I put the wrong roofs on some of his little town bricks

Because he wanted to stay at preschool when we collected dd

Because he wanted to stay outside

Because he wanted dd's spoon not his

Because I unzipped dd's coat for her (he wanted to do it)

Because big cook little cook came on tv (that one is entirely justified IMO)

Because I didn't use the hairdryer (hair wasn't wet)

Because he wanted to throw snowballs

Because the snow made his hands cold and wet

Because I said he couldn't watch a dvd (he has broken the dvd player by closing it with 3 dvds in)

Because I told him off for climbing onto the windowsill and jumping off it

what time is it?????

"It does change - mine started with the tantrums at about 11 months, and has seemed to grow out of them by about 4"

WTF.

I am reading this thread with interest. DS is 1 on Sunday and I am noticing some mini tantrums already. I thought the terrible 2s started at 2 and ended at 3.

Clairey your day sounds like mine yesterday! Basically everything I do or don't do somedays will result in him either crying/ sulkin or screaming! He cried the other day cos he wanted to go out in the snow, then cried cos I wouldn't let him do it without a coat on, then cried cos his hands were freezing, then cried cos I brought him in to warm up. Yesterday he evn cried because I let the cat out and he wanted to do it . Everything basically!!! Some people say 'oh my ds has at least 5 tantrums a day' and I am thinking 'wow only 5 tantrums.... that must be lovely to only have that many in a day, I lose count most days!'

Have to type and run but yes, yes, yes! This is my life too.
(Might have to confess that i read the "Tantruma and tears" title on discussions on the day and wondered which of DS and my tantrums and tears you were referring to!)

Oh no Bambino sorry! My ds started with tantrums at around 13 months, he's 2 and half now and is not showing any signs of slowing down sorry! Think it carries on til around 4 or 5 from what people are telling me anyway..... surely it must reduce over that time though haha.

Wow look how many of us are going thorugh this! How reassuring (not that I am not deeply sorry for you all but wow what a relief!) I started this thread thinking maybe one or 2 people with extreme stories would reply but it seems this is th norm...... I have one question tho... this being normal and all that, why do people have more than one child??!

Ah yes Bambino. Terrible twos for three whole years in this house - though it did go in phases, so we'd have a good few weeks and an awful few weeks and so on, often connected to other things I think, like growth spurts, changes of routine etc.

The absolute worst stage ever was at about 3.5 - omg. I posted on here about it a lot and found that age 3 is bad for a lot of people - hence the word "threenager"

sounds like a completely normal 2 year old boy to me.

I think 2 and a half is THE hardest age, it gets easier bit by bit, really!

That´s why sending him to a playgroup in the mornings can be a good idea (to give you a break too! And it´s fun for him).

Boys that age need to burn of lots of energy (girls too I guess, but I only know about boys), much more than you think, and also need lots of little playmates.

oh Bambino
'I thought the terrible 2s started at 2 and ended at 3'
if only

And I'm about to have another!

My DD is 23 months and sounds exactly the same. Its very frustrating and we are due another baby in May.

It will all (hopefully) be easier in 12 months.