Tell me about your 2 year old... please tell me I'm not the only one struggling!!!

[smileyboy]

My ds is a lively, energetiv boy. Was always a reasonably happy baby, never hard work really.

Now he's 2.6 and I feel like I am losing the plot! Please reassure me or offer tips cos I feel like I am doing it all wrong.

DS refuses to get dressed without a struggle/ screaming.

He doesn't want to get in the bath saying 'no I don't want a bath', then loves the bath and doesn't want to get out no matter how much warning him I do that it's soon time to get out. He then usually cries when it's time to get out.

Hi language is pretty good. Talks in sentences and seems to have very good understanding but he will often just ignore me if I ask him a question. I am unsure how to deal with it because I don't know if he's not listening or just ignoring people. I seem to have to answer a lot of questions for him when others talk to him although I wouldn't say he's shy. He'll happily engage people in conversation about what he wants but not really answer their questions or talk about what they want if that makes sense?

He seems to sulk quite a lot. Went shopping today and all the way round, every shop we went in 'I don't want to be in this shop mummy, I don't want to be in this shop mummy' over and over and over. He can repeat himself for litterally 10 minutes and no amount of cojoling or distracting seems to do any good. If I ignore him h just gets louder and cries. Most of today he seems to have had tears in his eyes or been on the brink of a tantrum and this is standard really.

He is very bossy when playing games 'mummy stand there' 'daddy, pick my bricks up' 'no put them in here' etc.. if you don't obey him he cries aswell which we just ignore.

He seems good at playing by himself but is just very very hard work and we seems to spend our entire day distracting him and having to tip toe around him.

He is very loving but only on his own terms. The other day a friend of ours was holding on to ds' hood and ds tried to get away as he as playing, ds then turned round and said 'let go of me pleae' he didn't so ds then burst into tears... I actually thought this was understandable as itwas a stupiud thing for my friend to do my everyone seemed really ahocked like ds was moody and asked if he was tired. I just said no he doesn't like being pulled around for no reason and left it at that. Is it really that unusual that he responded in that way????

Not sure what I am asking really... perhaps just ressurrance that it is a phase that will pass or maybe just wanting to know how I can help cheer him up a bit. So what's your verdict and and what's your 2 year old like? How do they respond to being restricted/ dressed etc?

Oh - wollysocks - I did that today, shut him outside the room because he was having a tantrum. It stopped his tantrum but he then started banging (very rhythmically now I think about it) on the door, and when I opened it he was just stood there glaring at me. I guess it did stop the tantrum (which he was having because I had given him the dinner he had asked for )

LOL at thegrowlygus DS! I'm liking his style

ds's new trick is to drop to the floor and play dead if anything displeases him

this is clearly a pain in the snow/mud/puddles though I ignore him indoors

My friend calls this the "banana age" since her DS had a big tantrum over a banana that she had chopped up (at his request) but then he had a meltdown because she had chopped it and he wanted it whole again!

Mine is a bit more selective Guad, when having a tantrum he walks off to find somewhere comfy to throw himself on the floor i.e.carpet not kitchen tiles!

well I wish mine would, he is so melodramatic I have had to dive to stop him banging his head

sometimes I don't make it, and I don't feel that sorry for him really as I pick him up, rolling my eyes and saying 'there there, silly you'

I am mean

well, of course I care, but you know, it gets a bit wearing

I just stand there laughing at his preciousness!

My DD (2.4) is exactly like this. I thought I'd just got the daughter I deserve . I'm quite relieved to find out it's normal.

She is such a little madam and I'm secretly quite proud of it but, oh my God, it's hard work!

Today I actually found myself saying "I know you're a nice, helpful girl at nursery and you tidy things away. Why can't you do that at home?" So she threw herself onto the sofa in a full on strop. The times I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

I didn't mean to scare you Smileyboy! DS2 does it to wind me up and has even told me that he thinks he will get what he wants if he has a trantrum! He also admitted that he likes to get me cross as well!

So, that makes it my fault I think!!

lol @ Growlygus, DS2 would go into melt down if I poured the milk on his cereal, or closed the car door for him, or picked the wrong spoon for him... or horror of horrors, a carrot on his plate contaminating the other food! I have managed to stop him hurling the food he doesn't want now!

We stayed at a friends once and she was trying to give me a bit of a break and a lie in, and was giving DS2 breakfast. I heard this bloodcurdling scream and came down to find her looking startled and scared, just because she had poured the milk on his cereal!

to answer your post though - your ds is just like everyone else's 2yr old!

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! My DS is exactly like this. (He's 2yrs 5 mos) He also feels the need to be in control of every situation: "DS, it's time to (fill in the blank)." DS: "No, I do this FUST! (first)!"

Most days I want to tear my hair out, but I love him so much it brings me to tears sometimes. Nothing to do but soldier on, I suppose!

How to talk so kids will Listen helped so so much when my ds was right in the middle of this. It really changed my life, can't recommend it highly enough. He was barely verbal at the time as well, it still made a massive difference.

Humphrey, I look back on the days of barely verbal with misty eyed nostalgia... Why did I ever want her to argue endlessly speak?

DD (2.4) is exactly like all of the above - but only when it's just me/DH (or both. Everyone else in her world believes her to be a little angel. Yeah, right

Her biggest, most frustrating thing is that she has to do everything herself. In the mornings, if I dare to get her spoon for cereal and put it on the table she shouts at me not to do that, goes to the cutlery drawer, puts the spoon back, closes the drawer, opens it, gets the spoon out and takes it back to the table again. Arrrggghhh. Same with if I turn the light on - she'll have to turn it off and back on again, etc.

We caught her out with something today. Coming back from a trip out, I went to get her out of her carseat. As I opened the door, she yelled "no - no want Daddy, want Mummy" about 3 times as she didn't bother to look who was there, just assumed it was DH. Then realised it was actually Mummy so yelled, "no - no want Mummy, want Daddy" and made herself look very silly indeed.

Having said all of this, however frustrating she can be, she is also the funniest, sweetest, most loving little girl ever Now I am just worried about all of you saying that the 2nd child is worse- DD2 is due in March!

Ahh, but barely verbal for my ds didn't mean silent. He made up for the no talking with screaming . There are many desperate posts on here from me a few months ago... He may have a future as a tenor, he has a fantastically loud voice.

Yikes, Humphrey... Let's hope he becomes world famous and can keep you in the style you deserve!

no advice, just jumping on this thread as DS (2.1) is a testing my patience constantly. EVERYTHING is a battle - coat/no coat, slippers/shoes/boots, wants to play with light switch, doesn't want to go out, but once out, doesn't want to come in.

getting him dressed, changing a nappy, brushing hair, bath time, TV on/off.

everything.

fucking bonkers.

~phew~

You are not alone - I have one of those too . My middle child DD2 is 3.3 now but still behaves like a complete horror at times (BUT HAS IMPROVED CONSIDERABLY OF LATE thank god).

She will scream until she is sick, have huge meltdown tantrums, throw things/food, rip up her bedtime story books (unforgiveable), nip, scratch (me) if she doesn't get her own way, doesn't want dinner but then eats it if I ignore her, doesn't want bath then refuses to get out when time to etc etc etc - we don't put up with any of it and she gets put in the vestibule with the door shut for a minute or two (which she hates) to calm down (hopefully) Doesn't always work though!! . She fights constantly with DD1 (age 8) but is strangely besotted and protective with DS (7 months).

It does get better once they get over the age of 3 I think but we comfort ourselves with the thought that she gets so frustrated and angry because she is an intelligent little girl. It must be hard to cope with the frustration of being a small child with no ability to make own decisions, feelings known etc. I don't know. She is a force to be reckoned with in every way but when she wants to be she is the most loving, adorable, cuddly and gorgeous child.

I try to enjoy all the good stuff and ignore the bad!

Dreading the teenage years though I must say.......

So funnny to read these - I initially thought my DD is pretty easy going, but then realise its just because I'm used to her ways and we've worked out how to rub along together!
She also doesn't like milk on her cereal, wants to put her hat on (and choose which hat) herself, etc, etc, etc...
She also reminds me frequently why I cannot afford to lose it...her favourite expression at the moment is 'Don't you DARE do that young lady'... and I am not wondering where she picked that up from (I hate it when she tries to suck my nose - which she finds hilarious)
Frazzled - I have 2 stepkids, both teens who are just lovely.

sorry, just need to add:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGRGHH!!

DS could not WAIT to get out into the snow today, but despite having the door open, him desperate to go out, choosing his coat and shoes, he wouldn't let me put them on. I had to pin him down with my knee to get him in his wooly gear.

Must be so difficult being a toddler, these awfule feelings of conflict. Desperate to do something, but can't do something anybody else wants you to do.

Toddlers must be practice for having teenagers.

Oh, dear, I can see DS coming close to this, at 21 months... although he hasn't yet got the willpower and language to carry off some of the things you are describing.

Just thought I would throw in a gratuitous link to the funniest, most horrifying Mumsnet thread ever: Illogical reasons for tantrums in toddlers.

i'm on my fifth,and final 2 year old!! they are legendary! i love 2 year olds!!

applause @ WingedVictory. Well done