Problem with DS2 and I don't agree with DH's solution

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

DS2 is just 4 and since he was 3 he has come down in the morning and helped himself to food. Always chocolate. He isn't doing it because he is hungry, he just wants the chocolate and knows it is wrong as we have told him not to do it.

Last week he had some of my chocolate and said he was just checking it was okay.

This morning I came down to get a box of Roses I had left out to take into school today for a Mum who had helped me yesterday. They had been put in the cupboard and I assumed by DH. I got them out and DS2 had opened them and helped himself to three, and then put them back in the cupboard (hiding the evidence,)

DH wants to put a lock on the door so he can't come out. I am 100% against this and will look for something to keep the cupboard door from being opened by DS2.

Any ideas to get him to stop? I am giving him a sticker for staying in his room after he has been put to bed at night and wondering about extending that to staying upstairs until DH or I are up.

He once ate some cooking chocolate and I worry one day he will eat something he really shouldn't have and make himself ill.

I have to go to school now but thank you in advance for any advice.

Just one last thing, what do you do if you disagree with something your DH wants to do/use as discipline? Who gets the final say?

BTW I will win this one. There is no way he is locking him in.

I should add even DH checks with me (as I'm in "charge" of the kitchen cupboards) before eating stuff that we don't regularly have as part of our lunch/breakfast/snacks). He wants to check that it's not been bought for a particular thing (meal, present, school tombola offering etc)

I am thinking we will go back to bedtime milk and will leave a morning snack out for him.

He has tea between 4-5pm so could genuinely be hungry. It is just I wish he would come and tell me he is hungry rather than taking stuff. He is only 4 and I need to know what he is eating.

He is very set in his ways with regard to eating in the day.

breakfast - cereal and toast
lunch - toast with beans/hoops/ravioli or spaghetti and it has to be cold. Sometimes he will have cheese on toast. I have started sending a sandwich to playschool rather than fruit to get a bit more food in him.
tea - a hot main meal.

He also would ear crackers all day long if he could and he drinks milk throughout the day too.

Fab, sounds like a plan.

I think 4-5 pm for the last meal is quite early, particularly for a growing boy. My dcs finish at 7:30 pm and are ready for breakfast at 7 am.

I think also he stopped having bedtime milk a lot earlier than his brother had and while I don't think he is starving so much in the morning that he can't call me, I will give him the milk and show him what he can get in the mornings. I don't want him sneaking chocolate and crackers at 6 o'clock so I will give him other things.

If i had my last meal of the day at 5.00, I'd be raiding the Roses at 6.00 the next morning!!!! My ds would have been jumping on my bed demanding a full English breakfast with extra sausages!

Give him something for what my mother calls 'supper" before bed. Leave out some food that he can have when he comes down in the morning. Hide the chocolate.

Oh, and I think you should try to stop (here's me bossing people around again) using words like 'sneaking". If you have a biscuit with your cup of tea, are you 'sneaking' a biscuit? No, you're having a snack from the food that belongs to the family.

It It is hardly the same.

I am an adult and he is 4.

He asks for food in the day so this is different.

seeker that is indeed true - however even I check how many biscuits are left in the pack before deciding whether to have one or not.

Definitely think supper may be useful as it looks as though he's waking up really hungry. Our dd's have some toast/crumpets/Weetabix before bed. We started this as dd2 was repeatedly waking up at around midnight and I had to shovel Weetabix into her before she would go back to sleep.

just a thought- my granddad used to eat a bowl of porridge every night before turning in

cheap, nutritious and he said it set him up for the night

in Sweden, children seem to have "välling" for a bedtime snack, basically a very loose porridge made with milk or formula according to age- the idea is to make them sleep well

BTW the only reason he went for the crackers is because there is no more chocolate in the cupboard.

Our treat cubboard is a very high one, which worked for us as mine were never climbers. The top half of a ceiling height top cupboard iyswim (it's also very small)

By the time they could climb to it they were old enough to be disciplined by TV/PC sanctions etc, but TBH even though they're now junior school age, it's never been an issue, they just know treats are for special occasions with Mum's permission and that the consequences would be severe if they took without asking.

fab... but if he was just craving chocolate he wouldn't have bothered taking the crackers when he didn't find any. it sounds like he's hungry and just taking what food he finds in order of preferance (as any 4 year old would)

4-5 is very early for the last food he'll eat til the next day, i think the idea of introducing supper might be your best bet

a slice of one of your lovely home made cakes, or a flapjack or something like that with milk and /or a piece of fruit would be good, as a supper , as has been suggested.

i really think that could be a solution that will be good for everyone

We have told the kids we are going to have supper and they are very excited. They love their food...

DH has fit a lock to the treat cupboard just to give me peace of mind.

We give our children a suppery sort of snack before bed like cereal, apple or banana at 7.30.

Just a thought for the chocolate monster in afternoon and morning - hot chocolate (made very tepid)? My dd was always looking for sweets and biscuits, climbing up etc at that age, and cocoa/hot choc proved a magical solution to that particular craving.

I have completely given up having any treats, biscuits etc in the house, unless for a specific purpose, then always concealed. No juice either for same reason. Unless it's for tomorrow's lunchbox, in which case they know if they eat it now against my wishes, they won't get it for lunch... One of the advantages of having a kitchen where cupboard contents are not clearly demarcated.

Oh, I had another trick for dealng with dd's incessant search and steal antics. I taught her how to make her own sandwiches at 5/6 Then if she was desperate for snack she made some bread and butter. Crumbs, knives, mess but no more climbing and she was v. pleased with her sandwich skills.

Good luck.