Re: boot camp, the book says to doa ch a week but a) I'll have to take it back to the lib halfway through and b) I need help on getting DS1 to DO things so I think I'll try chapters 1 and 2 together for the next few days - anyone else with me?
Ch 2 has some good stuff on cooperation getting them to do what you want - punishments and so on come later on. The basic skills are (not to be done in order, pick whichever works):
- Describe what you see / the problem
(the milk is out on the table)
- Give information (milk goes off if it's kept out of the fridge)
- Say it with a word (milk!)
- Describe how you feel (I don;t want to have to go and buy more milk)
- Write a note (can't think of a milk related one here!)
The idea as far as I see is to give your children the space to see the problem and solve it by themselves, rather than telling them exactly what to do the whole time. I like the one-word thing, I find myself giving a bemused DS1 long lectures on stuff rather than keeping it simple. Notes wouldn't work yet I think, but pictures might be worth a try?
In case it helps anyone, these are the main flashpoints we have during the day in getting DS1 to cooperate (DS2 is only 6 mo and doesn;t have much of a choice yet!)
Breakfast (actually all meals): sitting at the table and eating rather than charging about/playing and then screaming when food is taken away
Getting dressed
Going to the toilet on time (in the middle of toilet training, so this is work in progress)
Getting out of the house
Getting in the pushchair
Demanding stuff in shops
Getting bored in queues (fair enough)
Wanting to walk but then taking hours to get anywhere
Not screaming/jumping/bashing stuff in the house while DH is trying to work (he works from home)
Going to sleep without demanding umpteen toys and MUMMY every 5 mins
Putting all that down, I make a lot of demands on DS1. Poor sausage. Must look at ways to but down my expectations as well.
Plus I'll be working again on the listening cos I need to.