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Does anyone have a child who did not point but has developed normally?
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spur · 27/03/2009 09:16

Hi there, my 15 month old does not point and I am freaking out about it. Does anyone have a reassuring story to make me feel better - I know all the bad stuff that it could mean - I can not even get her do a pointy finger. I have been pointing at everything for weeks now!

She will wave bye bye with help and prompting most of the time. She does not pretend play or mimic me.

She took a few steps last week and seems to be making babbling sounds....mama, dada, buba

I know I may be worrying prematurely but when I see other kids the same age and much younger pointing and copying peekaboo etc. it does highlight things. On the whole she is a very happy and content baby which now I am thinking may also be a sign that something is not quite right.

Would appreciate any comments

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DevilsAdvocaat · 27/03/2009 10:01

don't worry!
pointing will come in time.

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silverfrog · 27/03/2009 10:06

15 months is still on the early side to worry.

you know it could mean something, by which i take it you have read about the CHAT test? the cut off is 18 months.

my dd2 was not pointing at 15 months. I kept an eye on it (dd1 is ASD) and by 18 months she was. A lot can change overnight at this age - a couple fo weeks ago your dd was not walking, now she is - maybe pointing is on the back burner for now?

how does your dd indicate something she wants to you? eg if her cup is out of reach, how does she ask for it?

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TotalChaos · 27/03/2009 10:06

try not to panic, it's still early days yet, you would expect pointing by around 18 months, and with very young children they can develop skills very quickly - she could very well be pointing tomorrow or when she's 17 and half months. You say she doesn't mimic - if say you stick your tongue out would she stick hers out too? (I'm just using that as an example btw, not as any significant thing you would need to aim for)

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spur · 27/03/2009 10:14

Thanks for your response!
Silverfrog - she reaches for things with an open hand and if i wont give her the cup or whatever she cries and gets upset.

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Triggles · 27/03/2009 10:18

spur my DS didn't point to things until just recently, and even then it's very rare. He chatters up a storm, knows his alphabet and recognises letters, and can count to 30. He just isn't interested in pointing. He'll just look at something and talk about it, or reaches out with an open hand. He's 2.5 yrs. I know the HV gave me this big lecture about how pointing is a form of communication and I should be worried, but he's intelligent enough to get his point across without it, so I guess he just wasn't interested. He's capable, as he has done it here and there, just not very often.

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spur · 27/03/2009 10:22

HI totalchaos - just tried sticking my tongue out and she watched me and then touched it.

She will pat a drum if you show her and we have has some success with high fives! Its al very adhoc

Generally she is very 'busy' with toys and stuff thats going on around her. She is interested in what we show her.....however she is teething and just puts everything in her mouth like the phone and remote for TV etc!

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spur · 27/03/2009 10:34

Thanks triggles.

Its just so good to just hear that pointing may not be the sinister sign that everyone says that it is.....
I know that it may indicate something but I just want to not be worried and just enjoy my child and stop analysing everything in such a negative way.

Just to give you some background -
We were referred to a neurologist at 11 months because the GP was worried about teeth grinding and her tongue protruding....she does have a small head between 2nd and 9th percentile but neurologist is not worried at this point. She is within normal development limits although he noted that she was not waving bye bye at 14mths....but has since managed this task every now an then.

So I am just a bit fed up - If there is a problem I will deal with it when the time comes. It seems there is no way of knowing for sure at this stage so would like to just enjoy the next few months! Thanks for all your comments.

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DevilsAdvocaat · 27/03/2009 10:43

gestering for her cup, pointing or not, is a good sign imo.

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spur · 27/03/2009 10:51

Thanks devilsadvocaat.
I am so glad to just hear positive things. I was reading some threads yesterday that were upsetting and its great to get a bit of perspective.

From what I understand all kids develop in their own way and some just take their time with things.

I am going to chill out about it all now

Thanks so much x

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DevilsAdvocaat · 27/03/2009 10:56

it's easy to worry isn't it?!

try not to go to those threads now.
if you are still worried in a few months make an appointment with your hv to put your mind at rest.

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Triggles · 27/03/2009 11:02

spur DS was a late "waver" as well - he does wave now, but focuses more on saying "bye" and "see you soon" and "so long" about a million times instead.

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Chaotica · 27/03/2009 11:10

DD is still not quite sorted with pointing and she's nearly 3. She's also a very articulate little madam who is developing fine. I think gesturing is good at 15m.

(She doesn't really get other people pointing either - but she can understand well enough for me to explain what I'm doing... .)

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Joe1977 · 27/03/2009 21:19

Yes! DS1 is 3.5 now and still can't wave properly either, but is very good at expressing himself verbally. He was also a late walker (23months) and never crawled.

Try not to dwell too much about what your little person isn't doing and concentrate on what they are doing!

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Heated · 27/03/2009 21:23

Noticed it was on the 2y checklist and went round pointing at things like a mad-woman so that dd would copy me. Yes she is developing normally and I wish she would stop blinking pointing.

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Claire2009 · 27/03/2009 21:27

DS is 23mths and has been pointing randomly & lots today! He's done it a few times over the last 2 mths but today a lot more than usual!
He waves but its a lazy floppy handed wave

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trixiethepixie · 28/03/2009 00:36

I was worried about the pointing thing as well as my ds didn't seem to do it either. Someone on here told me it's not the ability to point but the ability to look to you to share her world. Would she look at something and then look to you to for you to see it?

Ds has only started to point last week. Only twice, but it's a start and he's 17 months.

You sound a bit like myself, my ds was v small and prem so I find I worry a lot more than I might have done regarding his development. The doctor's visit tend to wind me up a bit and make me anxious about him when really there probably is no need.

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cyberseraphim · 28/03/2009 06:34

15 months is too young to tell so just keep an eye on things (as if you won't !). Oddly, my DS1 did point and he is not developing normally. Don't stress over just one aspect of her development.

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laraeo · 28/03/2009 08:48

Thank heavens for this - my ds who's 13 months doesn't point, wave or clap and I didn't think it was a big deal. If I point at something he generally looks toward it and if he wants something he either manages to get it himself or squawks a bit until I do. He seems to understand a fair bit of what I tell him but doesn't have any words yet - no mama, dada, etc. Otherwise his development seems within normal bounds. I had no idea that not pointing was potentially a sign of anything potentially bad - because honestly, how much do you point in real life? Now I am trying not to stress and I sure as heck am not looking at any other pointing threads....

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piscesmoon · 28/03/2009 08:54

They are all different-luckily they don't all follow the same pattern e.g some children don't crawl, they just get up and walk, some don't repeat words, they just keep quiet and eventually speak in sentences.

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spur · 28/03/2009 13:37

Some great support and advice here. I hope this post is useful.

I have spent the last 2 days really focussing on what my baby can do and noticed other things that she is doing to communicate. She is has enjoyed my undivided attention and is still not sure why I am pointing or waving!

I do feel much better now. I am encouraged by her watching and trying to copy me do other things like banging a drum, kiss the bunny etc
however erratic it may be!

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Triggles · 28/03/2009 14:36

Isn't it funny? All of us stressing over whether or not our child is pointing - but in a few years we'll be saying to them "Don't point, dear, it isn't polite!"

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cyberseraphim · 28/03/2009 16:26

I do think pointing is an important skill and most typically developing children do point to share interest and also by following another's point, to begin to begin the process of aquiring higher level language. But 15 months is too young to read too much into this difference. Does she follow your point if you try to show her something?

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purepurple · 28/03/2009 16:30

pointing?

DD12 and DS19

wasn't aware there was a pointing milestone

was blissfully unaware in my ignorance

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cyberseraphim · 28/03/2009 16:35

I don't think many parents with developmentally normal children do notice pointing - I'm not meaning to be cheeky but I notice that my friends who have typical children do not really notice the crucial markers the way that parents of children with additional needs do. To me, DS2 (developing typically) is like a boy from a science fiction film because he can play interact and talk normally at aged 2.4 but I don't think many others see him that way.

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spur · 28/03/2009 16:47

hi cyberseraphin - Yes she will follow my point although sometimes it can take a few goes to get her attention!

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