I started noticing things when he was around 17 months old. No gesturing at all! And they must use gestures. It’s very fundamental for their speech and language development. He could not even wave buy. He didn’t have words. We started EI evaluations when he was 18 months old (the coordinator told us that they wouldn’t deny services to him if he’s already 18 months). By the first evaluation, I had already experienced a few panic attacks and mourned his future life that I had built before in my mind. Moms around didn’t help but isolate me even more. This thread was something that changed me so much, and it helped me to find peace! I’ve realized that there’s nothing wrong with being atypical (I myself was never diagnosed but always had social anxiety and difficulties with eye contact).
I noticed that with every negative talk about his behavior during evaluations, he would immediately display traits that I had never seen before. For example, his eye contact was always good. But evaluators (through phone) could not manage to keep the 18-months old baby’s eyes on the screen, so they would start explaining how bad his eye contact was. And for some time after he heard it, he would avoid eye contact with me. That helped me believe everything I was told during evaluations. It was so crazy that we introduced a rule to never speak about him in front of him and never let him feel like he is watched or evaluated 😃
I’ll tell things about him that were true and were caught during evaluations:
Not responding to any verbal commands,
Completely not developed receptive language,
No words at all,
No gesturing (and there have to be more than ten gestures before 18 months)
Difficulties paying attention during play, the meager attention span
Inability to play
Inability to regulate his emotions (he only knew to ask for breasts)
To ask us about something, he would find strange ways that helped him. For example, instead of going to the hall and pointing to the door, he would bring shoes.
I remember his psychologist was very alarmed when during the evaluation, the little guy came to me and tried to lead me to a room with a ball to initiate a game.
Hyperactive during playtime
He didn't like when his hands were dirty
He had a significantly disrupted sleep pattern
He would not let you touch his head
There were some reflexes that he lacked
He would absolutely NOT imitate!!! This was the worst thing to overcome. And the most critical part in the development.
What was noticed during evaluations, and I would always argue with them about it:
Poor eye contact
Not showing affection
Not responding to his name
Not showing interest in social games, and other peers.
But as you see, he had enough red flags and was clearly delayed.
By the age of 20 months old, I taught him how to point both when you see something unique and want to share (very important) and point to ask for something. I played social games with him, which increased his attention span and helped him a little with imitating. I taught him a few fundamental sign language gestures to help him communicate (”all done,” “more,” “food”)
His first accurate word was a cookie, and he said it probably when he was around 21-22 months old. He would add new words very slowly, but in language development matters everything, every sound he repeats for something (for milk, he would say “moo”), every gesture. He had around 30-40 such ways to say a word by 23 months. He started his first sentences when he was 24-25 months old. Straightforward phrases and mostly just repetitive stuff. I was not really paying attention to his expressive language development, and that's why it's so hard to recall exact months. What was very important was to master all prelinguistic skills (gesturing, imitating, good attention span, Joint Attention, Turn-Taking /Social Routines, understanding early words and following simple directions (receptive language), playing with toys appropriately, and some more). All these skills were in place when he started using expressive language freely and confidently. It happened after his second birthday. By 30 months old, he started speaking fluently in his native tongue. And his receptive English began to emerge. A few months after that, with little exposure to English-speaking tots, he started saying words and phrases he would hear at a playground.
You can google Laura Mize to learn more about speech and language development. She covers this topic excellently and has YouTube videos to teach therapists and parents how to help a child with all prelinguistic skills.
Ask me any questions you have!