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Original poster

Does anyone have a child who did not point but has developed normally?

104 replies

spur · 27/03/2009 09:16

Hi there, my 15 month old does not point and I am freaking out about it. Does anyone have a reassuring story to make me feel better - I know all the bad stuff that it could mean - I can not even get her do a pointy finger. I have been pointing at everything for weeks now!

She will wave bye bye with help and prompting most of the time. She does not pretend play or mimic me.

She took a few steps last week and seems to be making babbling sounds....mama, dada, buba

I know I may be worrying prematurely but when I see other kids the same age and much younger pointing and copying peekaboo etc. it does highlight things. On the whole she is a very happy and content baby which now I am thinking may also be a sign that something is not quite right.

Would appreciate any comments

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kissmummy · 28/03/2009 16:57

i'm a first time mum and i've never heard of this pointing thing as being so important, and have never heard any of the other mums from my antenatal group (we still meet up) mention it either. our babies are 20 months old now and i think we'd all consider ourselves reasonably well informed, but obviously we're not quite as informed as we thought!
i don't read developmental books now (i did when he was under 1); just dip into them as and when there's something specific i want to find out.

cyberseraphim · 28/03/2009 16:58

That's a good sign then - try to encourage her to do this as much as you can. Building up shared attention of any kind will help her development towards pointing to share her attention with you.

cyberseraphim · 28/03/2009 16:59

The developmental books don't really get into these areas as they are a bit scary. All you see are tiny notices in the small print telling you to contact HV/Doctor/Paed/Anyone, Just stop reading this book

Original poster
spur · 28/03/2009 19:17

I think parents that have had developmental delay brought to their attention are particularly aware of specifics like pointing and waving. If your child is perceived to be "normal" then it may never come up.

My Dd has been under scrutiny since 11 months and my GP (who I no longer see now - we just deal with neurologist) still thinks there is something wrong. This is mostly because she thinks my Dd has funny features (small chin, the shape of her mouth....she is the spitting image of her dad who is lovely looking- not me!)

She looked down at the floor too much when we last saw her which was apparently a worry. Gp also kept asking me if I thought dd was aware that she was a different person to me! I think my gp was particularly mean and in 5 mins at 5.30pm did not give dd a fair assessment. She also didnt believe me when I said that dd smiled a lot at home.

I will get to the point - this is not just about pointing in isolation for us. So I can see how it would be big deal to most parents.
I must seem like a crazy person - but I am not x

OP posts:
Original poster
spur · 28/03/2009 19:19

Oops I mean not a big deal to most which is great!

OP posts:
Katie1025 · 21/10/2019 20:23

I realize this probably won’t get a response because it is old, but my son sounds so much like the original poster’s daughter. And I was just curious how things are now.

Mummy0ftwo12 · 21/10/2019 22:37

@Katie1025 how old is your son? if he's less than 18 months I wouldn't worry about pointing, but if he's older you could start a new thread if you are worried.

Katie1025 · 21/10/2019 22:49

He’s 19 months. But he doesn’t clap, wave, point or imitate. He also only really says mama, baba, and more. However he does make good eye contact and he interacts with us. But doesn’t play much. More of just runs and throws.

Mummy0ftwo12 · 21/10/2019 23:15

ah, have you done the m-chat test? no pointing by 18 months/late talking can be a red flag for autism (and a couple of other things) - on the other hand - he does have words, usually pointing/waving/clapping happen before words but not every child is typical.

How is his understanding? e.g. if you asked him to get his shoes would he understand

Katie1025 · 22/10/2019 00:14

We did the mchat. He did not do well. That coupled with his lack of language his doctor is wondering if he has a sensory processing disorder. He is not very good with understanding either 😕. It’s so hard because I wonder if it’s me not teaching him well or him being delayed. He’s also very active so he’s nearly impossible to sit and sing and read and learn.

Mummy0ftwo12 · 22/10/2019 07:30

if you are in the UK your GP should refer you to a community paediatrician, the mchat is for screening not diagnosis - my ds totally failed mchat but doesn't have autism.

Arhumuk · 04/11/2019 10:05

@Mummy0ftwo12 hi you said your child initially failed the MCHAT did they go on to be NT. I hope you don't mind me asking

Thanks

Mummy0ftwo12 · 04/11/2019 11:35

@Arhumuk he went on to be diagnosed with speech and langauge and social communication delay - but def not autism because it was a delay rather than a disorder.

Smd30 · 30/01/2020 22:31

I know this is a old post but I wondered what the difference is compare to autism? This sounds like my son who is 22 months and we haven’t been evaluated yet and I have myself so worked up without even knowing.

Mummy0ftwo12 · 31/01/2020 07:51

Not sure what you mean by difference @Smd30

Smd30 · 31/01/2020 11:23

My son is 22 months and he also refuses to point, wave, etc. he makes good eye contact and is very affectionate but also loves to just run and throw things. Did you ever have him evaluated I’m wondering what the outcome was.

NatiMark · 26/07/2020 22:05

Hi, can you please share, how things are going on with you? My son is 18 months and 3 weeks and he is very much like your baby at this age.

NatiMark · 26/07/2020 23:26

@Katie1025
Hi, Can you please share your updates? I am especially interested in sensory processing disorder, that you mentioned. Did your doctor explain why he thinks it might be an issue? I am in the same place right now with my almost 19 months toddler. If something helped you, can you share it. I am waiting for early intervention services, but because pf COVID , everything is so complicated. Everyone keeps telling me that I am his only therapist right now.

Serwaa91 · 27/07/2020 14:10

My LO is 17.5 months and is yet to point and wave and has 0 words. I’m extremely concerned as these should have happened way before now. Her HV isn’t concerned but I am and from what I have read online I should be. A wonderful paed I work with referred her to child development but due to Covid 19 that could take forever. She was also referred to SALT but they rejected it because she’s not 2+. I beside myself I just feel she’s so behind! I’m not sure if anyone has experienced this and had their child have no issues later?

BAST1 · 17/08/2020 00:02

@Serwaa91 Hi, I see you are the last person to post on this thread. Has there been any update with your child since? my son is nearly 15 months and i'm becoming very worried. He doesn't point, waved a coupe of times, not great eye contact, doesn't respond to name, and only says dada to everything. Also doesn't understand anything I say. The HV won't listen to me and either will my family members and just say i'm paranoid. My son use to be very sociable and smile lots but since lock down he has changed so much. I'm not sure if it's this or he's having a regression as I hear this can happen with children with Autism. Any help or advice from anyone would be great. Very worried mum here and nowhere to turn. I have done the MCHAT and he's very high risk. x

AladdinMum · 17/08/2020 00:57

@BAST1 Pointing is not considered late until after 18M, in addition your son is too young for the mchat - the mchat is only reliable at 18M and 24M, before that it has no meaning.

Banana0pancakes · 17/08/2020 22:44

I'm not a pp but I've read many threads like this over the last year. My dd is 29mo now, and at 18mo didn't point, wave and rarely clapped, couldn't follow a point, walked on tiptoes, didnt reference back to me, didn't show me toys etc. No words just babbling, but it wasn't babbling in a conversational way just random sounds.

I was convinced we were going to get a diagnosis and be at the severe end because I felt she couldn't imitate and that makes learning anything hard.
I taught her to point using sweets as a reward which was the first big leap at about 20/21 months.

Since then she's progressed wonderfully. She said her first 3 word sentence today, 'uhoh holly stuck', she started pointing to show what she wants, she's still doesn't really look to check I'm looking but that's ok and struggles to follow a point. She claps, waves, never tiptoes anymore, has lost interest in a set of keys she used to carry EVERYWHERE. She copies my actions in songs and dances, tries to copy my facial expressions. She's memorized the alphabet and counts 1-10, understands quantities etc. She constantly bosses me about, mama hide, mama run, and I couldn't be happier.
I don't think we'll know if she's nt for a bit yet but I just wanted to say I know how it feels to have that god awful gut feeling that theres something wrong. If I could go tell myself back then how she is now I wouldn't believe it.

So this has turned out much longer than I anticipated but they really do change and learn at their own pace. I've started to relax a lot more with her now, so please try and enjoy them. If they do have asd we can't change it but they're only babies once

AladdinMum · 18/08/2020 00:12

I would keep a close eye on her development as your description of her seems to suggest some atypical development. Pointing is not a taught skill (like waving or clapping) but an intrinsic skill, NT toddlers do not 'learn' to point. Pointing before following a point is not the typical order of development, it would be like running before walking. Could be nothing, but worth keeping an eye on her. I would also try the mchat on her as she is at the perfect age for it.

Yany13 · 17/09/2020 20:15

@BAST1 Hi, I was wondering if you had any updates on your son? My son is nearly 15 months and has a lot of the same behaviors. He doesn’t really clap (has done it a few times) doesn’t wave or point. But he does gesture for things he wants, like a bottle. I’m not sure if you are in the states but where I live we have an early intervention program and they offer a program called pathways for kids that have “red flags” for autism but either are too young to be diagnosed or don’t have a diagnosis yet since it can take up to 6 months. My son has been on pathways for a few months now and I have seen a lot of improvement. His eye contact is so much better than when we started, he responds to his name now and he is gesturing a lot more. Also, he is starting to be more aware of people around him is starting to be more social. I would definitely look into what programs are available in your area.

Yany13 · 17/09/2020 20:22

@NatiMark Hi, I was on the waitlist with early intervention for a couple months for my son because of Covid, but we were finally able to start seeing an occupational therapist a couple months ago. My sons therapist shared this website www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ to come up with ideas to help with sensory processing. My son showed signs of a sensory disorder and have been using a lot of the tips from this website to expose him to different textures and I think it has been helping him.